Stella Bagwell

Just For Christmas


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As her doctor, Abby had assured her the problems with her first pregnancy were highly unlikely to recur. Miscarriages were painful and heartbreaking, but they were also common. Most women went on to deliver healthy, normal babies. Abby was fairly certain Hope would fall into that category, and Hope had every confidence Abby was right. Drake, however, could not be convinced.

      “What do you mean, mistake? Do you think I shouldn’t have asked Drake to come home?”

      Before Abby could answer, Sara returned with Hope’s sandwich. After filling both their coffee cups, the waitress moved on to the next table.

      Hope picked up her sandwich and tried not to let the doubtful frown on Abby’s face ruin her appetite.

      “Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, Hope. But—” She shrugged as she carefully considered her next words. “I was just thinking that Drake has been telling you over and over he doesn’t want a child. He even made that clear before the two of you were married. And then when he did finally relent and you got pregnant—well, we won’t go into that right now—I don’t have to tell you how devastated he was when you lost the baby. I’m just wondering if having Stevie around might be a reminder of all that pain.”

      Hope glanced out the window of the Austin Eats Diner. The streets were growing dark, and she needed to head home as soon as she finished her sandwich. Drake would show up before too long, and she needed to be ready for his arrival. In more ways than one.

      “That’s a chance I have to take, Abby.”

      Abby glanced at her sharply. “Is this child that important to you? I wasn’t aware that you were close to Denise, much less her son.”

      “We’re not close,” Hope admitted. “It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen Stevie. But that last time was enough—” She broke off as her throat tightened at the memory. “I can’t remember ever seeing such a sad, troubled child, Abby. And when Denise started whining about leaving him at boarding school if Drake and I couldn’t keep him, well…”

      Abby nodded knowingly. “Your soft heart caved in.”

      Hope made a palms-up gesture. “Guilty as charged. And I know it seems foolish, offering to spend my whole holiday taking care of someone else’s child, but—”

      A knowing smile tilted Abby’s lips. “You want to try to give the kid at least one memorable Christmas.”

      “How can I expect to be the mother of an adopted child if I can’t even bother to see that my own nephew is nurtured for one month?”

      “I see your point.”

      Hope’s gaze searched Abby’s face. “But you’re still not convinced I’m doing the right thing.”

      Her friend’s features wrinkled into a scowl. “I didn’t say that.”

      “You didn’t have to. I can see it all over your face.”

      “Forget about Stevie for a moment and consider this,” Abby said. “Your marriage hasn’t ended yet. There’s still a chance to save it.”

      “How?” Hope groaned. “By giving up everything I’ve ever wanted? I don’t know that I could be happy that way, Abby. I love Drake, but I want to be a mother.”

      Abby reached across the table and gave Hope’s hand an encouraging squeeze. “Believe me, I understand how you feel,” she said gently. “Year after year, I’ve helped bring scores of babies into the world. But delivering a new life is not the same as creating one yourself. I’ve stopped counting the times I’ve asked myself when it will be my turn to take one of those bundles of joy home with me.”

      Hope nodded glumly. “That’s true. We’ve both been in the same boat for a long time. Except I had a husband and you didn’t. But now you’re about to be married and you’re going to get the child you want. I don’t even know if I’m going to continue to be Drake’s wife, much less have a baby with him. And as for the idea of adopting—well, as long as Drake and I are separated, I realize my chances are reduced somewhat.”

      “Well, if Drake is so determined not to be a father, it’s obvious to me you’d have to cross the idea of adopting off your list if you hope to get back together,” Abby pointed out. “That’s why I’m wondering if this thing with Stevie will only cause more problems.”

      Hope gave her friend a worried glance. “What kind of problems? I’ve been thinking—and hoping—that having Stevie around will help change Drake’s attitude about children.”

      “Or make it worse,” Abby said, then quickly shook her head. “Oh, I don’t mean to sound pessimistic, Hope. But from what you’ve said, this child might have problems that a real parent would find hard to deal with, much less a man who doesn’t want to be a father.”

      “That thought has run through my mind, too, Abby. But I can’t turn my back on the little boy. And deep down, I can’t believe Drake would be coldhearted enough to turn away from him, either. If he is, then…I’ve wasted all these years loving him.”

      After that Hope carefully changed the subject to Abby’s wedding plans, and once she’d finished her sandwich, she said goodbye to her friend, then stopped by the counter to pay her bill.

      Shelby Lord, the owner of the diner and a longtime acquaintance of Hope’s, stood behind the cash register.

      “Hi, Hope. How are things going today?” Not waiting for an answer, the hardworking redhead leaned forward and lowered her voice for Hope’s ears only. “Have you made any headway with that husband of yours?”

      Shelby was well-meaning, and Hope liked the other woman very much, but it was a known fact she was a bit of a busybody. Hope decided to keep the news of Drake’s moving back home to herself. Shelby would find out soon enough. Here in the diner, no news escaped her. And anyway, nothing had really changed between her and Drake. The only difference was that they’d be sleeping under the same roof.

      “Not really, Shelby. Have you been busy today?”

      The young woman wearily pushed a stray curl from her forehead as she searched through a stack of tickets jabbed on a spike. “Horribly. The place has been full all day. But that’s what I like to see.”

      With the matching ticket finally in hand, she turned to Hope and the register. “You’ve probably already heard about Jake Maitland coming home.”

      Hope nodded. “Everyone is saying he’s coming back because of baby Cody. But I’m not so sure. He might just be coming back for Abby’s wedding and to see his mother. You’re a friend of the family, Shelby. Surely you know him enough to have some ideas.”

      Shelby’s green eyes twinkled, and a shrewd grin spread over her face. “Growing up, I thought he was the best-looking guy I’d ever met. But because I was a girl, I didn’t have the chance to know him like my brothers did—especially Garrett.”

      “So you haven’t talked to him lately? Abby just told me she didn’t have a clue why her brother was coming home.”

      Shelby shook her head. “I can’t remember the last time I talked to Jake. But I do think the timing of his return looks a mite suspicious. And since Jake moved away from Austin, no one seems to know what he’s been doing. Not even his own family.”

      Hope handed her a bill large enough to cover the sandwich and coffee. “Well, just because he’s a private person doesn’t necessarily make him a prime suspect as the baby’s father.”

      Shelby’s laugh was deep and rich as she counted Hope’s change to her. “You’re no fun at all, Hope. You’re just too darn logical.”

      On the drive home, Hope thought about Shelby’s comment. Maybe she had become too objective. Maybe she was looking at this baby issue between her and Drake in terms that were only black and white.

      But what other terms were there? she wondered grimly. She wanted to try to have a baby again. He didn’t. As things