and Brady left letters for you.” Don handed Kate a large, thick manila envelope, and Jared received a thin, standard business-size one. “Would you like to read them now or later?”
She clutched the envelope as if it were a winning Powerball lottery ticket. A part of her was afraid to look inside, but the other part wanted to rip the flap off and start reading. “Now.”
“Later,” Jared said at the same time.
Deadlock. They never could agree on anything. At first their differences had been a joke, and they’d laughed about it. Over and over again. But their disagreements had been a sign. Even though she might have loved Jared, even though she might sometimes long for him, they didn’t work well together.
“You can open yours later,” she said. “I’d prefer to open mine now.”
Jared ran his finger under the flap of the envelope. “Now is fine.”
Don rose from the desk. “I’ll get the paperwork started.”
Kate mumbled a thank you. As she focused on the envelope in her hand, she heard paper crinkle and unfold and a chuckle.
With trembling fingers, she opened the manila envelope and pulled out several typed pages.
Dear Kate,
If you’re reading this, I’m dead and it’s a good thing I decided to write everything down for you. Brady thinks I’m being morbid, but until I had Cassidy I didn’t give much thought to what would happen if I weren’t here. And now in the middle of all this estate planning, I’ve been thinking about it too much.
The corners of Kate’s mouthed curved. That was so like Susan. She thought about things too much. As did Kate. Obsessive? Perhaps. But she and Susan had called it analytical thinking.
By now, Don Phillips has told you that we want you and Jared to raise Cassidy. This should come as no surprise. What would come as a shock is if Don told you that Jared would gain custody of Cassidy if the two of you divorced. I know you’re confused and mad at me.
Kate wasn’t mad. How about stunned? Hurt? Bewildered? Betrayed? Her gaze strayed to Jared before returning to the letter.
My hope is you and Jared have resolved things by the time of our untimely and unfortunate demise (gotta love that phrase!) and are living happily ever after. You are truly meant for each other.
Oh, Susan. She was such an optimist. Even under the most horrible situations growing up, she had never stopped believing her life would improve. No matter what the odds. But this dream of Susan’s wasn’t in the cards for Kate.
And that realization hurt. Badly.
She had wanted a family with Jared, but the timing always seemed off. They spent so little time together with their jobs. He wanted her to have a baby right when her company took off. And then he asked her to give up everything she’d put her heart and soul into and move to Seattle. When she wouldn’t do what he wanted, he left without her. Kate squeezed her eyes shut, but that didn’t stop the memories or erase the pain.
“Here,” Jared said.
She opened her eyes. He held a tissue out to her. She wasn’t sure if his offer was out of compassion or pity. She didn’t want him to think she was weak. Kate stiffened. “I don’t need it.”
“Just in case.”
His half smile unfurled warmth inside her. And made her feel like an idiot. Jared was only trying to help her, not point out her weaknesses. She had to stop thinking of him as the enemy. Kate took the tissue. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
His dark eyes seemed to see right through her, to her secret thoughts and feelings.
Heat. Fire. Passion.
Kate forced herself to breathe.
Okay, some sort of volatile chemistry remained between them. She’d go so far as to admit her physical attraction to Jared had increased during their separation.
No big deal.
A marriage couldn’t survive on desire alone. She’d learned that lesson. She looked away.
“Are you finished?” Jared asked.
“No.”
“I’ve read mine three times.”
Did the letter mention her? Old inadequacies floated to the surface. Had Brady questioned her ability to care for Cassidy? Kate bit the inside of her cheek.
“What did the letter say?” she asked.
Jared smiled. “Typical Brady stuff that helps.”
“I’m glad.” She only hoped hers helped, too. Up until now, Susan’s letter hadn’t. “I need to finish mine.”
“Go ahead.”
Kate read how proud Susan was over Kate’s accomplishments, their friendship and their love for one another. As she continued, the paper shook and Kate realized her hands were trembling.
You and I know family doesn’t have to mean blood relation, and that’s what I’m counting on because I want Cassidy to experience what being part of a loving family is all about. Jared with the crazy, meddlesome Reeds can provide that for her. She can have what we didn’t have growing up. I need that for my child.
As tears streamed from Kate’s eyes, she struggled to read the rest. She didn’t like what Susan had written, but Kate understood and somehow that hurt more. Each word felt like a wound to her already aching heart. She fumbled for the tissue.
Jared handed her another one. She muttered thanks and wiped her eyes.
So much for challenging the will. She couldn’t. Not when she knew what Susan wanted for her daughter. Kate would want the same for her own child. Wasn’t that one reason she found Jared Reed with his large, supportive family so attractive when they’d first met? He’d had everything she hadn’t had growing up.
But knowing the reasons and understanding them didn’t make the circumstances any easier on her.
“Katie?” Jared placed his hand on her shoulder. The warmth of his touch nearly did her in, but she couldn’t—didn’t want to—pull away.
He and Cassidy were all Kate had left.
She dabbed her eyes with a tissue again. “I’m not finished.”
Forgive me if I’ve written something that has hurt you. I’m only doing what I feel is best for my daughter. I love you, Katie. I always have and I always will.
Take care of my baby and love her the way we wanted to be loved!
Hugs and love,
Susan
She didn’t want to let Susan down, but Kate didn’t think that kind of love, the kind you didn’t have to earn, was possible. Not any longer. But for her best friend, she would give it her all.
She traced Susan’s name—the only word handwritten on the many pages—with her fingertip. Tears dropped onto the paper, and Kate dried them off. She didn’t want the letter to be ruined. She wanted to keep it. For herself. For Cassidy.
Kate inhaled and exhaled slowly. Steady. Calm. In control. She squared her shoulders. With a steady gaze, she met Jared’s inquisitive eyes. “They want you to have Cassidy.”
“I know.”
“It’s…okay.” Or would be. Someday. Somehow.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” No matter how much Kate would have liked to blame him for this, she couldn’t. If only she knew what to do next. “I want to see Cassidy.”
Jared nodded. “Let’s sign whatever papers Don has prepared then go to the hospital.”