Antelope Valley were already cloaked in their white raiments of snow for the winter season. She glanced over at Dan as he got in. The Corvette purred to life and he shifted the gears. He probably flew a jet just as smoothly, she thought.
“So far, so good?” he asked her conversationally.
She nodded and smiled. “I’m thrilled, if you want the truth. And by the way, you’re a very effective teacher. You had all of us sitting on the edge of our seats.”
Dan gave her a sidelong glance. “Coming from you, that’s a high compliment. Thanks.”
“It’s well earned, I must say.”
“Who knows, maybe one of these days you’ll be teaching there, too.”
Chris gave an explosive laugh. “Oh, sure! Let’s take one step at a time, shall we? First, I have to learn how to fly combat planes. Next, I have to graduate.”
His azure eyes grew warm with admiration. “There wasn’t a prettier person in that room this morning than you.”
Her heart gave a leap and she pursed her lips. “There you go again.” She colored prettily beneath his look. “Am I going to have to put up with this for forty-six weeks?”
Dan’s smile was devastating. “Roger that, my raven-haired beauty. You’re just going to have to learn to take compliments with grace and say thank you.”
“Then, thank you,” she murmured, her voice growing husky. She thrilled to the words, raven haired beauty.
“That’s better. Hungry?”
“Starved!”
“Good, we need to get some more meat on your bones. You’re too damn skinny for your height.”
Chris ordered a steak sandwich, French fries and a garden salad. Over lunch, she relaxed in Dan’s soothing presence. The dining room was filled to capacity with Air Force officers and civilians alike. Dan pointed out Chuck Yeager, one of the most famous of all test pilots. Yeager had brought the U.S. into the jet age by riding the Bell
X-1 through the sound barrier. Chris stared at the short, wiry man with respect. She looked back over at Dan.
“I’d give my right arm to do something similar to what he’s done,” she whispered.
“We’re all ‘golden arms,’ so don’t be giving your right arm away for anything,” he teased. It was the pilot’s skill at getting the plane into the air and landing safely that counted. The myth that it took a “golden arm” or the “right stuff” to do it was synonymous with test piloting. “And don’t worry, you’re going to go on to create a special Chapter in the history books for all women who go into testing,” Dan said, meaning it.
“I still can’t figure out why you have so much confidence in me when I’m behind the eight ball to begin with.”
Dan toyed with his fork, a smile lingering on his mouth. He enjoyed being close to her, and was secretly amazed at how much Chris had relaxed around him. She had lost much of her previous defensiveness. Perhaps it was the adjustment of settling in at a new base. “Why do you always see yourself playing catch-up?” he posed softly, meeting and holding her violet gaze.
Chris squirmed, compressing her lips. “I’ve always felt like that.”
“Could it have to do with your past?” Dan watched her stiffen, her eyes growing hooded, more distant. He reached out, gripping her hand for just a moment and then releasing it. “You’re talking to me, Chris. I’m a friend. Don’t retreat from me.”
“I don’t want to discuss it.”
“I do.”
“My personal life is my own.”
Dan’s eyes narrowed speculatively on her. “Correction. When I feel it interferes with your attitude, it becomes my business. I’m in the habit of extracting the very best of each student’s potential. Your attitude of playing catch-up could prevent you from making a quantum leap forward by learning to fly combat jets in a very short period of time.” His voice was velvet lined with steel, and it netted the desired result.
Chris had been trained in the military, and responded to his tone. She watched him with new respect. She placed both elbows on the table, staring at him. “I don’t happen to agree with your assessment of me, Major. But if you think it’s going to interfere with my flying, then I’ll tell you.”
“Good,” he encouraged, his voice becoming gentler, less authoritative. “Maybe it will be more painless if I ask you a few key questions.” He looked up at Chris and his chest constricted with guilt as he saw hints of pain in her mobile features. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“Go ahead.”
“Were you always an orphan?”
Chris swallowed. “My mother gave me up when I was born.”
“So you were placed in an orphanage. For how long?”
“Not long initially. I went through a series of foster homes like everyone else until I was about eight, and then was sent back to the orphanage.”
Dan grimaced, resting his chin on his folded hands. “That must have been hard on you emotionally.”
“I don’t need your pity!”
“You have my understanding, not my pity,” he countered coolly, watching her face lose its lines of tension. “So how did you fare in grade school?”
Chris took a sip of her coffee. “If you want the truth, it was a salvation. I could spend hours hidden away in books of all kinds ranging from math to English.” She made a wry face. “Going back to the orphanage every afternoon was always a downer.”
Dan wanted to reach out and comfort her to neutralize the hurt that still lingered in her voice. “That’s why you enjoy being alone?”
Chris raised her chin, her violet eyes resting on his concerned face. “I don’t like it, but I’ve learned to cope successfully with it.”
He gave her a reassuring smile. “Okay, the hard part’s over. Now tell me why you feel you’re behind everyone else here at TPS.”
She shrugged, insecurity evident in her voice. “Not having any fighter experience is going to be my toughest transition. If that isn’t catch-up, nothing is. Otherwise, I feel confident in my other abilities.”
McCord wanted to reach out and hold her hand, but he couldn’t. Not here and not now. “You’re a bright, articulate woman with an awesome intelligence, or you wouldn’t have been chosen from all the military pilots in the services combined.”
“You can’t understand the feeling unless you’ve been there, Dan.”
He pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing intently upon her. Right now, at that instant, she was vulnerable and trusting him. “Hasn’t the fact that you’ve accrued impressive career credentials impacted on you? Hasn’t it made up for your sense of being something less than what you think you are?”
She shrugged. “Most of the time, yes. But there are those moments when I feel like a seventh-grader again, struggling to understand chemistry, or a ninth-grader, pounding physics into my head.” Her eyes grew worried. “And I feel that way about learning how to fly the combat jets now, Dan. I feel so...” She groped to convey her sense of frustration and anxiety. “So helpless!”
Dan cocked his head, listening to her voice. “That bothers you, doesn’t it? That sense of helplessness?”
She gave him a feeble smile. “Wouldn’t it anyone?”
“As long as you can make decisions, you aren’t helpless.”
Her nostrils flared with pent-up frustration. “I was a puppet for the first eighteen years of my life, Dan. I was subject to someone else’s ideas of what I should or should not be. And I feel