Of course, tomorrow she would be holding the real thing—a spray of pale pink roses and baby’s breath—and probably feeling even worse.
Her gaze shifted to the long center aisle leading to the altar and she felt her stomach turn again. How was she ever going to make it down that walkway without tripping, fainting or throwing up?
“Just breathe,” she reminded herself aloud, drawing in a deep breath. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t a nervous, fidgety person. She’d always prided herself on the ability to keep a cool head and steady hand. But a stranger had come into her life and changed all that, a stranger who had her edgy and uneasy and seeing danger around every corner.
Wasn’t it supposed to be the bride who got the jitters and the maid of honor who calmed her down?
Kristin turned around, watching her sister as she talked with Ted’s father. With her sparkling eyes and radiant smile, Cindy looked anything but nervous. In fact, Kristin couldn’t remember seeing her sister looking more beautiful, or more serene.
Which was only the way it should be. If there was one person on this planet who deserved to be happy, it was Cindy.
Cindy had barely been out of high school when their parents had died. Not many young women would have welcomed the responsibility of a thirteen-year-old sister, but Cindy had been determined that the two of them stay together. She had worked hard to make a home for them, and later, when Kristin had considered foregoing college because of the financial hardship it represented, Cindy wouldn’t hear of it. She’d insisted Kristin apply for every scholarship available, and what they didn’t cover, the money Cindy earned waiting tables in the evenings after a full day at her job with the Los Angeles Probation Department did.
Which was why Kristin didn’t want to do anything to spoil Cindy’s wedding. One way or another she was going to do this, she had to—for Cindy.
“For Cindy,” she whispered, taking courage from the words.
Her gaze shifted to Jake Hayes as he stood in his position to the left of Ted. Thinking about how rude she’d been to him made her feel queasy all over again. He’d been friendly and pleasant and she’d practically cut him off at the knees.
He was watching the wedding planner, listening to her instructions and moving as she prompted him. He really did seem nice—not that she was surprised. Ted had described him as a good guy. Under normal circumstances she probably would have enjoyed getting to know him. The problem was, these weren’t normal circumstances. Things hadn’t been normal in her life for a very long time. Still, she hadn’t intended to be impolite. It was just that despite all that Ted had said about him, to her he was a stranger, and the grim fact of her life was that strangers terrified her.
“That’s your cue, dear.”
The loud clapping sound had her looking up.
“Hello? Are you listening?”
“Oh, uh, y-yes,” she stammered, feeling her cheeks flush red.
“That’s your cue,” the wedding planner said again. “Start walking now.”
“Y-yes,” she stuttered again. “I’m…I’m sorry.”
Flustered and embarrassed, she clutched the paper bouquet tightly in her hands and took a few hesitant steps forward.
“No, no, no,” the woman said, shaking her head, marching up the aisle toward her. “You’re not trudging through mud. Try and smooth it out a little, dear. Nice and easy.”
Kristin watched as the wedding planner demonstrated, then on stiff, wooden legs, Kristin tried again. She didn’t think her awkward, wobbling gait was any better, but she did the best she could. She felt ridiculous and terribly self-conscious, and without having to look, she could feel Jake’s gaze burning through her, turning the narrow aisle into an endless corridor of embarrassment. It wasn’t until she’d finally reached the end and slipped into her spot alongside the altar that she actually dared to glance up. Almost instantly, Jake’s gaze caught hers and he gave her a broad smile. She nodded stiffly in response, a move that only made her cringe even more.
“Pull yourself together,” she muttered. She was acting as though she’d never been around a man before, clumsy and ungainly.
But when she looked up and caught sight of Cindy as she started down the aisle, she suddenly forgot about being embarrassed or uncomfortable. It was only the wedding rehearsal but her sister looked radiant and Kristin felt her eyes sting with tears. This was Cindy’s time to shine and she was determined nothing was going to get in the way of that—not her problems, not her inhibitions….
Her gaze slid to Jake Hayes.
And certainly not her trouble with strangers.
Jake watched the wedding planner and waited for his cue. It would be all downhill from here on out. The mock ceremony was over and all he had to do now was follow Ted and Cindy back up the aisle and out of the church. Piece of cake. Although with Kristin on his arm he wasn’t expecting it to be particularly pleasant. But she would only have to tolerate him just long enough to make it out of the church. After that, he would be more than happy to stay out of her way.
For the life of him he couldn’t figure out why she seemed to dislike him so much. After all, they were virtually strangers—at least he thought so. She didn’t know him well enough to dislike him. Granted, he wasn’t the most charming guy in the world, but it usually took a woman a little longer to find him annoying.
Of course, his paranoia made him wonder if Kristin’s attitude toward him had anything to do with what had happened three years ago, either with the shootings, the task force or his resignation from the police department. Had someone said something to her about any of it? But common sense told him that wasn’t the case. For whatever reason, the woman had taken an instant dislike to him and he just had to accept it.
When the signal came, he was ready and moved slowly into the aisle. Looking at Kristin as he offered her his arm, he expected to see nothing but ice in those clear brown eyes of hers, so he was taken aback when he didn’t. In fact, her face was full of emotion. Could it be the Ice Queen wasn’t so icy after all?
Her hand on his arm felt warm as they moved together and he could feel the slight brush of her body along his as they walked. He wasn’t sure what had brought about the change in her, but he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Emotion had a way of softening her beautiful features and frankly he liked the effect.
Still, he had to admit, her transformation had left him feeling a bit unsettled. He wouldn’t have pegged her as the sentimental type. Weddings had a way of getting to people, though. Even he had felt a tug of emotion and this had only been the rehearsal. And it was probably that same sentimentality that had him turning to Kristin and giving conversation another try.
“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” he whispered as they made their way up the aisle. “And the good news is that we only have to do it one more time.”
“But the bad news is, the next time we’ll be doing it in front of a church full of people,” she pointed out darkly.
“You have a point there,” he acknowledged. Since she hadn’t snapped his head off, he boldly pushed on. “Feeling a little anxious?”
“Only about tripping, fainting or throwing up,” she groaned. “Or any combination of those three.”
“That could be a little embarrassing,” he agreed with good humor. “But you did great this time. There’s no reason to think tomorrow will be any different.”
“No?” She released his arm as they reached the large double doors leading outside and tossed the paper bouquet aside. “Maybe you’d like to try it in four-inch heels and carrying a handful of flowers.”
Just like that it was back—that hard edge, the sharp words—and he was surprised at how disappointed he felt. “Somehow I don’t think they’d go too well with my tux.”
She