her belongings. Three suitcases and half a dozen boxes were piled beside her. All the necessities for two lives.
‘That’s it,’ she replied. ‘I’ll just get Lily.’
She climbed back into the bus to rouse her sleeping daughter.
She scooped Lily up and carried her from the bus. She was keen to introduce her to Moose River but that would have to wait until tomorrow.
This was Lily’s first visit to the mountain resort. Jess had avoided bringing Lily here before now. She’d made countless excuses, telling herself Lily was too young to appreciate it, but she knew that was a lie. Jess had been skiing since she was four and Lily was now six and there were plenty of other activities here to keep young children entertained for days. Lack of money had been another excuse and even though Jess hadn’t been able to afford to bring her that was still only part of the truth. The reality was that Jess hadn’t wanted to return. She hadn’t wanted to face the past. She’d thought the memories might be too painful. But it was time to give Lily a sense of where she had come from. It was time to come back.
Cameron loaded their bags and Jess climbed into the back of the vehicle, cradling a sleepy Lily in her arms as he drove them the short distance to their accommodation. The job came with a furnished apartment, which had been one of a number of things that had attracted Jess to the position, but she hadn’t thought to enquire about any specifics, she’d just been relieved to know it had been organised for her and she was stunned when Cameron pulled to a stop in front of the Moose River staff apartments.
She picked Lily up again—fortunately Lily was small for her age and Jess could still manage to carry her—and followed Cameron inside the building, counting off the apartment numbers as they walked down the corridor. Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen. Cameron’s steps started to slow and Jess held her breath. It couldn’t be. Not the same apartment.
‘This is you. Number sixteen.’
She let out her breath as Cameron parked the luggage trolley, loaded with boxes and bags, and unlocked the door. There’d been a brief moment when she’d thought she might be staying in apartment fifteen but she might just be able to handle being one apartment away from her past.
She carried Lily inside and put her on the bed.
‘I’m sorry, they were supposed to split the bed and make up two singles,’ Cameron apologised when he saw the bedding configuration.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Jess replied. ‘I’ll fix it tomorrow.’ She couldn’t be bothered now. She had enough to think about without fussing about the bed. She and Lily could manage for the night.
‘Ellen has left some basic supplies for you in the fridge. She promised me it would be enough to get you through breakfast in the morning,’ Cameron said, as he brought in the rest of Jess’s luggage.
‘That’s great, thank you.’
‘I’ll let you get settled, then, and we’ll see you at the clinic at eleven tomorrow to introduce you to everyone and give you an orientation.’
Jess nodded but she was having trouble focusing. She was restless. There were so many memories. Too many. More than she’d expected. Thank goodness Lily was dozing as that gave her a chance to shuffle through the thoughts that were crowding her brain. She paced around the apartment once Cameron had gone but it was tiny and in no more than a few steps she’d covered the kitchen and the dining area and the lounge. All that was left was the bedroom and a combined bathroom-laundry. There wasn’t much to see and even less to do as she didn’t want to disturb Lily by beginning to unpack.
She crossed the living room, opened the balcony doors and stepped outside. Night had fallen but a full moon hung low in the sky and moonlight reflected off the snow and lit up the village as if it was broad daylight. To her left was the balcony of unit fifteen, the two-bedroom apartment that Lucas had stayed in seven years ago. The apartment where she and Kristie had gone on the night of the party was only metres away. She could see the exact spot where she’d been standing when Lucas had first kissed her.
He had been her first love. He had been her Prince Charming. She’d fallen hard and fast but when he’d kissed her that first time and she’d given him her heart she hadn’t known there would be no turning back.
Now, at twenty-four, she didn’t believe in Prince Charming any more.
‘MUMMY?’
The sound of Lily’s voice startled her. Jess was still on the balcony, standing with her fingers pressed against her lips as she recalled the first kiss she and Lucas had shared. She shivered as she realised she was freezing. She had no idea how long she’d been standing out there in the cold.
She didn’t have time for reminiscing. She had responsibilities.
Lily had wandered out of the bedroom and Jess could see her standing in the living room, looking around at the unfamiliar surroundings. She was sucking on her thumb and had her favourite toy, a soft, grey koala, tucked under one arm. With white-blonde hair and a heart-shaped face she was the spitting image of Jess, just as Jess was the image of her own mother.
‘I’m hungry,’ Lily said, as Jess came in from the balcony and closed the doors and curtains behind her.
‘You are?’ She was surprised. Lily wasn’t often hungry. She was a fussy eater and didn’t have a good appetite and Jess often struggled to find food that appealed to her daughter, although fortunately she would eat her vegetables.
‘Let’s see what we’ve got.’ Jess opened the fridge, hoping Cameron had been right when he’d said that his wife had left some basics for them. She could see bread, milk, eggs, cheese and jam.
‘How about toasted cheese sandwiches for dinner?’ she said. ‘Or eggs and soldier toast?’
‘Eggs and soldier toast.’
Jess put the eggs on to boil and then found Lily’s pyjamas. By the time she was changed the eggs were done. Lily managed to finish the eggs and one soldier. Jess slathered the remaining soldier toasts with jam and polished them off herself.
Lily was fast asleep within minutes of climbing back into bed, but even though Jess was exhausted she found she couldn’t get comfortable. Lily, who was a restless sleeper at the best of times, was tossing and turning in the bed beside her and disturbing her even further. She would have to split the bed apart tomorrow; she couldn’t stand another night like this.
She got up and put the kettle on, hoping for the hundredth time that she’d made the right decision in moving to Moose River.
It seemed surreal to think that returning to the place where things had started to go wrong had been the best solution, but she’d felt she hadn’t had much choice. She’d needed a job with regular hours and this one had the added bonus of accommodation, which meant she could be home with Lily before and after school and she wouldn’t need to leave Lily with a childminder or take extra shifts to cover the rent or babysitting expenses. She also hoped that living in Moose River would give Lily the opportunity to have the childhood she herself had missed out on. A childhood free from worry, a childhood of fun and experiences.
She carried her decaf coffee over to the balcony doors. She drew back the curtains and rested her head on the glass as she gazed out at the moonlit night and let the memories flood back. Of course they were all about Lucas. She couldn’t seem to keep thoughts of him out of her head. She hadn’t expected Moose River to stir her memory quite so much.
What would he be looking at right now? Where would he be?
Probably living at Bondi Beach, running a chain of organic cafés with his gorgeous bikini-model wife, she thought. They would have three blue-eyed children and together his family would look like an advertisement for the wonders of fresh air and exercise and healthy living.
But maybe life