Carol Marinelli

Needed: Full-Time Father


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the body, but some words didn’t need to be said and both women headed into Resus, determined to do their best for Gerard. And that now meant looking after his family.

      Because Gerard’s death would most likely have to be investigated by the coroner, all the equipment such as chest pads and IV access had to be left untouched, so Shirley busied herself clearing away the chaos of wrappers and ampoules and syringes, tidying up the area to make it look as presentable as possible. Madison did up Gerard’s shirt over the equipment, her shaking hands trying to rearrange his cut tie, placing a pillow under his head and moving his arms out over the sheet so that his family would be able to hold his hands.

      ‘He looks peaceful,’ Shirley said, and even though it was a cliché, it was true—in death he looked ten years younger, the tension that must have held him together gone for ever now. ‘Should we move him over to a cubicle to give his family more privacy?’ She stopped as Guy’s solemn face appeared at the curtain. After a brief nod from Madison, he ushered in Gerard’s wife and all the words Madison usually delivered at times like these faded before they even formed on her lips. Seeing the usually immaculate, proud Yvonne Dalton’s ashen, overwhelmed face as Guy gently guided her in told Madison no words were needed now, that Yvonne only needed to be with her husband.

      The guttural scream was heart-wrenching and Madison drew her breath in sharply, biting down on her bottom lip as she guided Yvonne’s trembling hand to her husband’s while Guy placed a chair behind her, his strong hands helping her to sit.

      ‘Would you like us to leave you alone, Yvonne?’ Madison asked. The woman gave a distracted nod.

      ‘Yvonne?’ Guy’s voice was supremely gentle. ‘Can I—?’

      ‘I’m fine.’ Yvonne bristled, angry accusing eyes swinging towards him. ‘I’d like to be left alone.’

      ‘How was she?’ Madison asked when they were out of earshot at the nurses’ station. ‘When you were at the house?’

      ‘Much as you’d expect,’ Guy said, revealing nothing. But his strained expression told Madison it hadn’t been easy. ‘I rang her son and daughter for her—her hands were shaking too much—and they’re on their way in from the City. They shouldn’t be very long. Look, I hate to ask, I’m not usually known for passing the buck, but could I ask you to deal with Yvonne when she comes out? I think I’m only upsetting her more.’

      ‘Of course,’ Madison agreed, but, seeing his troubled expression, she felt it wasn’t quite enough. ‘Guy, I know Yvonne seemed hostile in there but she doesn’t blame you for any of this, she’s just upset and confused at the moment. You’re the one who told her the bad news, so it’s you she’s reacting to.’

      ‘Perhaps,’ Guy said, but he sounded far from convinced. ‘But I think it would be better for everyone if I stay in the background while Yvonne’s around. OK, bring me up to speed. What have you done while I was gone?’

      And even though Madison appreciated the directness of his question, was more than happy to concentrate on practicalities at the moment, she couldn’t help but feel Guy was changing the subject. ‘Vic’s directing all the staff into the main waiting room so that they can be told together. I’ve got out the interim death certificate forms for you and I’ve pinned the coroner’s number to the front. Shirley—the nurse supervisor—has paged the CEO. I suppose I should let Ambulance Control know.’

      Ambulance Control?’ Guy frowned. ‘I thought we weren’t open to ambulances till eleven.’

      ‘We’re not,’ Madison said, ‘but we can hardly go ahead with opening.’ She registered his bemused expression and it infuriated her. ‘Guy, I don’t think you understand just how pivotal Gerard really is to this department.’

      ‘Perhaps not,’ Guy responded, ‘but, then, neither do the patients. In fact, I can guarantee that when someone’s baby starts convulsing or their husband develops chest pain, the last thing they’ll be expecting is a closed-for-business sign on the door. The only thing that will be on their minds is that the new hospital opens today—thank heaven help’s close at hand.

      ‘We’ll address the staff in ten minutes.’

      He didn’t await her response, which was just as well, Madison realized, because she didn’t have one. Instead, he turned and headed off. Seeing Yvonne come out shakily from behind the curtain, Madison guided the distraught woman to the interview room and sat with her in silence for a few minutes as Yvonne quietly wept. She offered the occasional tissue but deliberately didn’t speak, allowing Yvonne to guide her in what she needed from Madison.

      ‘When he collapsed… ’Yvonne gulped, pleating the tissue between her fingers, her usually strong voice strangled in pain as she forced the words out. ‘When Guy arrived and Gerard collapsed, what did he say?’

      ‘He didn’t say anything, Yvonne,’ Madison said gently. ‘It all happened very quickly.’

      ‘I know that,’Yvonne answered through gritted teeth, ‘but I need to know what was said, I need to know what—’ Her frustrated words halted abruptly and Madison didn’t rush to fill the silence, rehearsing in her mind what to say. Yvonne’s response was very normal, trying to glean anything she could from the last moments of her loved one’s life, trying to find out if something, anything, had been said that she could cling to, a tiny message that maybe she alone might understand. But in Gerard’s case there had been nothing and gently Madison attempted to explain that.

      ‘Guy arrived,’ Madison said slowly, ‘but he was locked out. Gerard and I were on our way to meet him at Reception. We were just chatting about the day ahead, having a coffee before we started work. Gerard wasn’t in pain or anything, I had no idea what was about to happen.’ She watched Yvonne frown as she delivered the words and Madison knew that she had to be very gentle, that this short but vital conversation would stay with Yvonne for ever, that she needed to know every detail of her husband’s last moments. ‘I headed off to let the new consultant in and I thought Gerard was following me, only when I turned around I realized that he was in trouble, he had lost consciousness and was sliding to the floor. He didn’t cry out, he didn’t complain of any pain. I don’t think that Gerard suffered for even a second.’

      ‘And he never regained consciousness?’ Yvonne asked, frowning as Madison’s words sank in.

      ‘I’m sorry, no,’ Madison affirmed. ‘I started cardiac massage. Guy had seen what had happened and raced around to assist. He grabbed some vital equipment on the way and we both did everything we could to save your husband, but unfortunately there was nothing that could be done.’

      ‘He didn’t say anything?’ Yvonne checked. ‘He didn’t speak to Guy?’

      ‘No.’

      ‘I don’t believe you,’ Yvonne snapped, her eyes angry now. ‘I need to know what was said, Madison!’

      Madison now frowned, uncertain what Yvonne wanted to know. Initially she had assumed Yvonne was hoping for some tiny whisper from Gerard, a deathbed declaration, but as Madison stared back at the other woman she wasn’t sure what, if anything, Yvonne was hoping to hear. Checking herself, Madison forced the muscles in her face to relax, to wipe away her slightly perturbed frown, and, as she had learnt in counseling sessions with bereaved relatives, to let Yvonne lead the way.

      ‘You’re telling me,’ Yvonne finally continued when Madison remained silent, ‘that Gerard collapsed and died without a single word, that there was no exchange of words between him and you or Guy?’

      ‘None,’ Madison confirmed. ‘Yvonne, I wish I could say different, I wish that Gerard had had enough time to say what he wanted to, but the truth is he didn’t. I know at the moment that doesn’t give you much comfort, but in the days and weeks that follow maybe you’ll be able to draw some strength from the fact that Gerard truly didn’t suffer, that not for a single moment was he anything other than the vibrant man we all knew and loved.’

      ‘I do.’Yvonne nodded. ‘You’re right, Madison, I take