her heart.
Doubts crept in as to whether or not she was doing the right thing being with Ryder at all with every step toward the cabin. He had the power to crush her with a few words.
“Maybe we should go somewhere else to talk.” Panic squeezed her chest as she approached the basic log cabin. A reasonable voice overrode her emotions. Ryder was the only one she could tell about Nicholas and the only one who understood how much was at stake as she made the decision to locate him.
“No one will find us here. Isn’t that what you want?” His deep voice, warm and soothing, was like pouring whiskey over crackling ice.
“Yes,” she conceded, very aware of the masculine presence behind her, guiding her with his hand on the small of her back.
Faith sat on the edge of the couch in the living room, ignoring the sensual shivers climbing up her arms. She wished she could block out memories as easily. The last time she and Ryder had been at the cabin, their naked bodies had been entwined until morning.
Tall, with the muscles of a well-honed athlete, Ryder had a physical appeal that hadn’t dimmed in the least and her hormones had all of her senses heightened. His dark hair framed a squared jaw, and he had the most piercing jet-black eyes. Everything about the way he looked communicated strength, confidence and a little bit of danger. And after the news she’d broken, fierceness. All of which would be a good thing if she could harness it toward helping find Nicholas.
“Take me back to the beginning. How do you know the baby is mine?” Ryder’s question was a bullet to the heart.
“You were the only option,” she fired back, and her plan of using the other men to throw everyone off the trail seemed to dawn on him.
“Did you plan on telling me eventually?” he asked after another uneasy minute had passed.
“Yes, and we can discuss anything else you want after we find Nicholas.” She needed to direct the conversation back on task.
“Holding a pregnancy over my head is blackmail, Faith.” His normally strong, all-male persona faded with the look of confusion in his dark eyes.
She hated that this was her fault. Well, not the pregnancy. It’d taken two to dance that tango. She took the blame for the way Ryder was finding out. Seeing the hurt in his eyes knifed her. But she needed to stay strong for Nicholas’s sake and not let anything else derail her from her search. She knew in her heart that her brother was in trouble. “I’m sorry for how this has gone down, Ryder. I truly am. But I’m desperate to find Nicholas and you weren’t going to help me any other way.”
He seemed to take a minute to contemplate that thought while he assessed her, his attention on her belly.
“How much longer before the baby comes?” he asked.
“I’m almost five months along,” she said, her hand instinctively coming up to her stomach.
“Boy or girl?” His voice was steel, giving nothing away of his emotions now.
“One of those,” she said. Having her doctor tell her the sex of the baby made it that much more real. For that reason, she’d decided to wait. And then there was the fact that it seemed wrong to know without the father present.
“They don’t know?”
“I asked my doctor not to tell me,” she said.
Another few minutes of silence passed. Her need to press Ryder in order to get his agreement to help find Nicholas warred with her better judgment. She’d played her hand with Ryder and there wasn’t much more she could do to follow the trail without his help, not without the possibility of putting their baby at risk given that the SUV driver was becoming more aggressive.
Three days was a long time to be missing. Anything could be happening to her little brother right now...
Tears burst through just thinking about any harm coming to Nicholas.
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to pull it together, “it’s just hormones giving me mood swings. They make it hard to think rationally.”
Ryder studied her.
“How do you know your half brother didn’t get fed up with his mother and run away?” he asked as she tried to force her gaze away from his lips—lips that made her body zing with awareness at the thought of how he’d once used the tip of his tongue to trail her curves. Faith admonished herself. That thought couldn’t be more inappropriate under the circumstances. Her hormones didn’t just make her emotional. They made her miss having sex even more.
“We had plans, and besides, he would’ve told me,” she said.
“You sure about that? Even people you think you know can shock the hell out of you.” Ryder’s tense, aggressive posture would strike fear in any reasonable person. She knew him well enough to know that he would never do anything to hurt her.
Faith told herself nothing mattered more than getting his agreement to help find Nicholas. And she was making gains on that front; she could tell by how bunched his face muscles looked and the tic over his left eye—all positive signs she was making headway. He was in conflict with himself and that was a good thing for her. The very fact that he’d agreed to discuss the matter privately was her first real step in the right direction. She could put up with his intense scrutiny if it meant gaining his agreement to find her brother.
“As sure as I can be. We’re close. I’ve been checking on him ever since I found out about him, so around kindergarten, and he doesn’t have any other siblings. Well, none that he knows,” she said. “My brothers would never acknowledge him if they knew, and he’s so much better than they are anyway. I would do anything I could to keep them separate and make sure they had no influence over him.”
This wasn’t the time to recount all the shortcomings of McCabe men.
“Why do you know about him but your brothers don’t?” he asked. It was a fair question.
“I spent summers working for my dad. I was being groomed for the family business and my job was learning the paperwork. I don’t have to tell you how much running a ranch is about dealing with stacks of documents. Legal papers were on my dad’s desk. I guess they got mixed up with a stack of bills. He was being sued for child support by Nicholas’s mother. You can imagine how that turned out. My dad got himself out of paying. Actually his lawyers did. So I’ve been sneaking money to Nicholas for the past ten years.”
“How do you know he’s your blood relative?” he asked.
She retrieved her cell phone from her purse and then scrolled through pictures, stopping at a recent one of her and Nicholas together. She held out her phone to Ryder so he could see.
“There’s no denying the resemblance,” he said, studying the likeness.
“He looks like a mini, younger version of Jason, only he’s nicer.” Jason was the youngest of her three brothers and her senior by four years. He’d been the toughest, too, having spent his life proving to his two older brothers, Jesse and Jimmy, that he could hold his own.
“I’ve learned not to trust the actions of any McCabe,” Ryder said flatly. He was obviously referring to her walking out and the pregnancy news.
She had that coming.
Glancing down at her stomach, she said, “I didn’t do this alone.”
Ryder made a face like he was about to say something hateful and seemed to think better of it, when he pressed his lips into a thin line instead.
“It’s probably for the best if we stick to the reason we’re here. For now,” Ryder said. Those last two words came out as a warning she knew better than to disregard.
“Fine.” She had no doubt the two of them would be doing a lot of talking