Please.
CAMILLE. [She trips over his feet and sinks on to his knee] Oh! Monsieur!
BUILDER flames up and catches her in his arms
Oh! Monsieur—
BUILDER. You little devil!
She suddenly kisses him, and he returns the kiss. While they are engaged in this entrancing occupation, MRS BUILDER opens the door from the hall, watches unseen for a few seconds, and quietly goes out again.
BUILDER. [Pushing her back from him, whether at the sound of the door or of a still small voice] What am I doing?
CAMILLE. Kissing.
BUILDER. I—I forgot myself.
They rise.
CAMILLE. It was na-ice.
BUILDER. I didn't mean to. You go away—go away!
CAMILLE. Oh! Monsieur, that spoil it.
BUILDER. [Regarding her fixedly] It's my opinion you're a temptation of the devil. You know you sat down on purpose.
CAMILLE. Well, perhaps.
BUILDER. What business had you to? I'm a family man.
CAMILLE. Yes. What a pity! But does it matter?
BUILDER. [Much beset] Look here, you know! This won't do! It won't do! I—I've got my reputation to think of!
CAMILLE. So 'ave I! But there is lots of time to think of it in between.
BUILDER. I knew you were dangerous. I always knew it.
CAMILLE. What a thing to say of a little woman!
BUILDER. We're not in Paris.
CAMILLE. [Clasping her hands] Oh! 'Ow I wish we was!
BUILDER. Look here—I can't stand this; you've got to go. Out with you! I've always kept a firm hand on myself, and I'm not going to—
CAMILLE. But I admire you so!
BUILDER. Suppose my wife had come in?
CAMILLE. Oh! Don't suppose any such a disagreeable thing! If you were not so strict, you would feel much 'appier.
BUILDER. [Staring at her] You're a temptress!
CAMILLE. I lofe pleasure, and I don't get any. And you 'ave such a duty, you don't get any sport. Well, I am 'ere!
She stretches herself, and BUILDER utters a deep sound.
BUILDER. [On the edge of succumbing] It's all against my—I won't do it! It's—it's wrong!
CAMILLE. Oh! La, la!
BUILDER. [Suddenly revolting] No! If you thought it a sin—I—might. But you don't; you're nothing but a—a little heathen.
CAMILLE. Why should it be better if I thought it a sin?
BUILDER. Then—then I should know where I was. As it is—
CAMILLE. The English 'ave no idea of pleasure. They make it all so coarse and virtuous.
BUILDER. Now, out you go before I—! Go on!
He goes over to the door and opens it. His wife is outside in a hat and coat. She comes in.
[Stammering] Oh! Here you are—I wanted you.
CAMILLE, taking up the tray, goes out Left, swinging her hips a very little.
BUILDER. Going out?
MRS BUILDER. Obviously.
BUILDER. Where?
MRS BUILDER. I don't know at present.
BUILDER. I wanted to talk to you about Maud.
MRS BUILDER. It must wait.
BUILDER. She's-she's actually gone and—
MRS BUILDER. I must tell you that I happened to look in a minute ago.
BUILDER. [In absolute dismay] You! You what?
MRS BUILDER. Yes. I will put no obstacle in the way of your pleasures.
BUILDER. [Aghast] Put no obstacle? What do you mean? Julia, how can you say a thing like that? Why, I've only just—
MRS BUILDER. Don't! I saw.
BUILDER. The girl fell on my knees. Julia, she did. She's—she's a little devil. I—I resisted her. I give you my word there's been nothing beyond a kiss, under great provocation. I—I apologise.
MRS BUILDER. [Bows her head] Thank you! I quite understand. But you must forgive my feeling it impossible to remain a wet blanket any longer.
BUILDER. What! Because of a little thing like that—all over in two minutes, and I doing my utmost.
MRS BUILDER. My dear John, the fact that you had to do your utmost is quite enough. I feel continually humiliated in your house, and I want to leave it—quite quietly, without fuss of any kind.
BUILDER. But—my God! Julia, this is awful—it's absurd! How can you? I'm your husband. Really—your saying you don't mind what I do—it's not right; it's immoral!
MRS BUILDER. I'm afraid you don't see what goes on in those who live with you. So, I'll just go. Don't bother!
BUILDER. Now, look here, Julia, you can't mean this seriously. You can't! Think of my position! You've never set yourself up against me before.
MRS BUILDER. But I do now.
BUILDER. [After staring at her] I've given you no real reason. I'll send the girl away. You ought to thank me for resisting a temptation that most men would have yielded to. After twenty-three years of married life, to kick up like this—you ought to be ashamed of yourself.
MRS BUILDER. I'm sure you must think so.
BUILDER. Oh! for heaven's sake don't be sarcastic! You're my wife, and there's an end of it; you've no legal excuse. Don't be absurd!
MRS BUILDER. Good-bye!
BUILDER. D'you realise that you're encouraging me to go wrong? That's a pretty thing for a wife to do. You ought to keep your husband straight.
MRS BUILDER. How beautifully put!
BUILDER. [Almost pathetically] Don't rile me Julia! I've had an awful day. First Athene—then Maud—then that girl—and now you! All at once like this! Like a swarm of bees about one's head. [Pleading] Come, now, Julia, don't be so—so im practicable! You'll make us the laughing-stock of the whole town. A man in my position, and can't keep his own family; it's preposterous!
MRS BUILDER. Your own family have lives and thoughts and feelings of their own.
BUILDER. Oh! This damned Woman's business! I knew how it would be when we gave you the vote. You and I are married, and our daughters are our daughters. Come, Julia. Where's your commonsense? After twenty-three years! You know I can't do without you!
MRS BUILDER. You could—quite easily. You can tell people what you like.
BUILDER. My God! I never heard anything so immoral in all my life from the mother of two grownup girls. No wonder they've turned out as they have! What is it you want, for goodness sake?
MRS BUILDER. We just want to be away from you, that's all. I assure you it's best. When you've shown some consideration for our feelings and some real sign that we exist apart from you—we could be friends again— perhaps—I don't know.
BUILDER. Friends! Good heavens! With one's own wife and daughters! [With great earnestness] Now, look here, Julia, you haven't lived with me all this time without knowing that I'm a man of strong passions; I've been a faithful husband to you—yes, I have. And that means resisting all sorts of temptations you know nothing of. If you withdraw from my society I won't answer for the consequences. In fact, I can't have you withdrawing. I'm not going to see myself going to the devil and losing the good opinion of everybody round me. A bargain's a bargain. And until I've broken my side of it, and I tell you I haven't—you've no business to break yours. That's flat. So now, put all that out of your head.
MRS