languages and being themselves representatives of our national culture, were literally few. Therefore, not every person, who named himself “a guide-interpreter”, would accurately respond with passion to the ceaseless firing questions about “everyday mode of life”. Meanwhile, let me soothe my kind listeners and readers that I resolved these challenges without any special difficulties, to the great satisfaction and pleasure for all parties involved. I simply used my sharp sense of humor and understanding of important aspects these cultures and behaviors (both nations – Japanese and my own folks). Honestly at this time, if I had material on these issues that was written in the manner of a folktales’ narrator “like talking directly from the first person”, it would have been much easier and more interesting to arrange a dialog with curious traveling guests.
Just then and there, while sitting at the table in cozy café, my initially shy idea was born: “maybe, to try to compose conversations from there and here?” I started by making initial fragmentary field notes, not yet linked to each other. Then my life faced some more urgent tasks and I was forced to put my notes into a far box. About a decade passed and my hair turned grey, and after participation in an international conference in 2007 the idea, now reinforced, returned to me again: “better that I do it myself, than to pass my idea to someone else”. Why? – because participants from other countries have literally bombarded me with the same questions regarding my Turkmen countrymen. They were interested in everything – mentality, nature, and peculiarities of rural life.
Naturally, it is quite understandable that my resulting book does not pretend to be scientific in nature and represent the exact interpretations to the respective country’s traditions. Therefore, exacting critics shouldn’t be in a hurry to find disagreements and/or contradictions. This is the opinion of the author, my own attitude and experiences to this, and my deep and respectful understanding of Turkmen community life. I would even say – this is my invitation to a conversation, an incentive to examine other sources of supplementing information, and to establish a better understanding between cultures. There is a certain abruptness to some of my essays and short stories; some that look like unfinished themes are made intentionally – to think over and find explanations yourself. Then a conversation with a reader can be among equals, not of a mentor with his students, shouldn’t it? That’s why once again I will interrupt this narrative on a half word…
Once again, I will remind you – this is a non-fiction book of my travels, not a detailed journal dissertation.
The Greetings
“A salam is not just yours,
A salam belongs to the Almighty”
Do you know any other way to start a conversation, tactfully and friendly, when you meet anyone – be it an acquaintance or a stranger, a countryman or a foreigner, a person of your own tribe or a representative of another ethnic group, – if not with a greeting?
And which form of the address should one select – just “Hello!” or “How are you doing?” – based on a specific situation and for a specific audience?
True, some men and women are able to get in touch with any audience, with people previously unknown or only slightly familiar to them, or to enter into a conversation with a stranger quite easily and unconstrained just at very first minutes of a meeting even without a formal greeting such as “hello”.
As for myself, I might look at them with an admiring envy of their excellent communicative skills, honestly. For I had definite difficulties in my youth, sometimes, to start just an elementary conversation – even with an acquaintance, leave alone a stranger, due to certain features of my personality. However, just those initial seconds and minutes are the most important stages when to create required mood of a meeting, to understand intentions of the visitor and to show your attitude towards him, are not they?
Therefore, naturally, styles and forms of greetings have their precious meaning in any culture, whatever the mentality of its people. That is of course, if one takes the subject much wider, without limiting the discussion exclusively to the complicated manner of the Turkmen in the field of addressing and greeting.
Instead of an expected introduction, which is a common way to start an essay or short story, let the author begin a conversation with the esteemed readers by recalling the old times – my own school years.
I have studied in a secondary school in the former Soviet Union. To those not quite familiar with the practice of those years it has to be explained that, at that period, the most prestigious Soviet schools, throughout the entire territory of the giant country inhabited by various ethnic groups, has instruction in Russian language, and their teaching program was based on the Russian culture. It was so beginning from the elementary classes for almost all secondary schools of the USSR.
As an additional clarification, I should emphasize that all teachers in the school I graduated from had academic and other higher educator degrees which were totally unexpected for such a remote and provincial school. If I remember correctly after two or three decades that passed, our mathematics teacher came from the Novosibirsk Division of the Academy of Sciences of the Soviet Union; the English language teacher was a graduate of the Moscow Institute of International Relations (where almost all Soviet diplomats studied); and our Russian language and literature teacher was nearly a nominee for a membership of the Soviet Writers’ Union. If I might be mistaken, it would be just exclusively out of my sincere and deepest respect to all of them and out of my gratitude for their lessons in life.
Such excellent features of the teachers are easy to understand if one takes into account the specific location of my native town Kushka (now Serhetabat), which lies at the state border zone. Most of my teachers were wives of the military officers who bravely accompanied their husbands during endless travels to the new sites of their missions.
Naturally, as a supplement to the basic subjects, these teachers arranged various clubs and diverse activities to apply their creative ideas and efforts and to implement own flooding energy into the life of their young students. Again and again, let me emphasize the fact that many such clubs were never created in more ordinary schools, even those located close by. For instance, the mathematics teacher led a hobby group for studying etiquette and good manners during couple years. Why did she choose such an extraordinarily subject? It would not be of great wonder if one knew that she herself was a representative of a very old Russian noble family, and by husband’s line she is a descendant of the Princes Yakushkins, engraved their names in history of the Tsarist Russia. However, frankly, I was the only male member of this group among its other, more beautiful participants. As usual everywhere in the world, girls were more eager to learn about etiquette and politeness, than rather rough and mischievous boys.
Never will I be tired of repeating that I am a lucky guy because I have had so wonderful teachers and mentors almost through all my life. And how many of them I still hope to meet in the forthcoming future!
Most of them, my secondary school teachers, in spite of their different ethnic origins (which, again, was not usual for many other schools of any Soviet periphery), tried to foster an interest to our own, Turkmen cultural roots, simultaneously with general education. My addiction to ethnographic aspects of life, my eagerness to plunge into mentalities and behavior of different nations was cultivated since those years and thanks to their efforts.
Nevertheless, the main direction of this educational system, which was aimed to study the life of the “entity addressed as the Soviet people”, influenced further development of individual students.
Therefore, upon the graduation from the secondary school I knew Russian language fluently, I was quite well familiar with the Russian culture, and with different styles of interpersonal relationships of the Slavic people. At the same time, I could only very weakly sort out mentality aspects of my own ethnic group, the Turkmens. Fortunately, at the same time I was striving for finding out more aspects of these traditions by myself.
Then, I was very lucky, let me repeat and emphasize once again, that simultaneously I was trained for self-educating and for keenness to investigate more aspects of folk traditions and rituals independently via books (if could find such books, though) and through informal chatting with the elders—the bearers of the culture hidden