Mainly I help the mourners to let go of the person who has died and allow them the freedom to go on. I teach people that by our distress we may be blocking the soul’s path and not helping ourselves to heal. There are many people who never heal from death but there are others who come to the understanding that their soul connection to the one who has died is eternal. That we never perish.
By sharing our spiritual knowledge, helping the mourners to meditate and make connection with their own God, we teach them how to help the spirit to go, which heals their own spirit at the same time.
On the thirteenth day the mourners will put oil in their hair, change their saris. They will prepare all the favourite foods of the soul that left the body and invite their friends and family to enjoy the feast. One of our sisters will sit in meditation and powerfully remember Baba as the food is being blessed and then we will feast. When we have given to the soul one more time, all that they desired in life then we let the soul go to Baba.
It is a time of freedom and release and energy. Everything changes after this ceremony: attitudes, thoughts, sadness. You often realise that until the thirteenth day you have been holding on but on that day you can feel that the soul has moved on: We can finally say: ‘God, the soul which was yours, I offer back to you.’
Sister Jemini of the Brahma Kumari Organization
Messengers from the spirit realms invoked during funerals to guide and protect the soul include angels, deities and the souls of the ancestors. In Christian rites it is the figure of Christ in particular who brings hope of life after death. He is the aspect of Love into which the soul is safely commended. In Catholic tradition the requiem mass is believed to have the power to ritualistically bring the soul to repose and peace in immortality. Requiem literally means rest and the rite divests the soul from the sins of life so that it can release itself into the arms of God.
For pagans it is the magic in the forces of nature which gives the soul the powers of transformation. In Druid rites the spirits of nature and the ancestors are invoked during rites held on open land and in groves. The many deities who might come forward to protect the souls of the dead are linked to the power of elemental forces and connected to the land. In the British Isles it might be the Celtic gods and goddesses, Brigid, Cerridwen and Cernunnos who are invoked, while in the Nordic traditions Odin or his consort the earth goddess Freya may lead the dead to the otherworld. They bring the gifts of the wind, sun, growth and change to help the soul on its way.
Throughout the pagan world, the ancestors receive the dead, completing another cycle of life with their reassurance and wisdom. In Africa funerals celebrate the rebirth of the soul as an ancestral spirit but it is up to the living, through their ways of mourning, to ensure safe passage. The mourning dances which kick up the dust of villages throughout the continent generate the necessary energy to push the dead into the arms of the ancestors, who are the true elders of the community. The living benefit from their advice and protection, so a good send off is crucial in order to get the relationship off to a good start. The body is usually buried close to the living so it is easy for the dead to watch over them. In some cases a beloved grandmother or grandfather may even be buried under the family home.
Burial is traditionally linked with cultures who identify with a belief in the ancestral realms so, as the body dissolves into the earth, the soul does not begin a restless search for its origins. The earth is the Motherland where the regeneration of the soul begins and for the living the grave becomes a focus for grief and a place of pilgrimage.
In the British Isles the burial grounds of our ancestors and the tombs, cairns, long barrows and tumuli are invariably found near the enigmatic standing stones and circles have become sites of pilgrimage for modern pagans, wiccans, tourists and travellers. As paganism becomes increasingly acceptable, people are choosing to bury their dead away from the consecrated graveyards in gardens or woodland. Thanks to the early Quakers of the seventeenth century, who were usually buried in their gardens, it is perfectly legal to be buried on your own land – although it will diminish the value of the property. Princess Diana’s burial on a small island in the middle of a lake in her ancestral home of Althorp in Northamptonshire rather than in the family mausoleum was a significant break with tradition. The vision of her burial place carpeted with flowers and reached only by boat echoed the ancient mythology of the journey of the soul across a river to the Elysian fields of myth.
Instead of treating the last act in our life in terms of fear, weakness and helplessness, think of it as a triumphant graduation. Friends and family members should treat the situation with openness rather than avoidance. Celebrate. Discuss. Plan for that final moment.
Timothy Leary
For Buddhists and Hindus the slow disintegration of earth burial is thought to make it difficult for the soul to detach itself from the physical world, but if the body is consumed by fire the soul is released like the mythic phoenix into the spirit realms. The banks of the Ganges in the holy city of Varanasi in India are filled with pyres on which the bodies of rich and poor are burned, filling the streets with the sweet smell of burning flesh mixed with exotic incenses and woodsmoke. Three days after cremation the ashes are scattered in the flowing river. Cremation invokes the power and beneficent grace of Shiva, one of the most powerful gods of the Hindu pantheon, who dances the dance of destruction and creation which fuels the wheel of life. Fire is considered to be the most liberating and purifying of the elements, the closest to the energy of the spirit, and so through fire the soul is more easily able to expand into its divine self, purged of the events of this life.
In a tradition which may have originated in Asia most of the Native American tribes chose sky burials, placing the bodies of the dead on wooden platforms with their feet towards the rising sun. Their profound love of the natural world and understanding of the notions of the ‘give away’ or sacrifice meant that they welcomed the surrender of the body to the elements. A body above ground had no coverings to separate it from the Creator and so the soul, the breath of life, could easily merge with the wind from whence it came. When the scaffolds decayed, the skulls would be taken to the prairies and placed with others in circles of hundreds or more. With the faces turned inward, the skulls created a sacred space which became a place for affectionate veneration. When the Native Americans had to move away from their lands they believed that they were being torn away from their loved ones and forced to leave them alone forever on the plains.
From the earliest graves of the Palaeolithic era to the most modern rites, humanity has ritualized death as a sacred transitional journey. As we release the bodies of our dead there is a powerful awareness of the soul essence which continues beyond the physical, visible world. The rituals and prayers which we offer up to the dead are the beginnings of a soulful connection with the souls of the dead as we help them make their journey into the unknown.
GRIEF AND LETTING GO
As the souls of the dead make their way towards their destiny in the world of spirit they are uniquely sensitive. It takes some time for them to become used to their disembodied state and realize that they are free to embrace liberation. During the few weeks after death they look back and process the events of their lives and say a final goodbye to those they love. Without their bodies to anchor themselves to the world they are deeply affected by our emotions and thoughts. They can feel our grief, as it reflects their own sadness at leaving those they love. So the spirit will often visit familiar people and places one last time.
For Malidoma Somé, shaman and author, grief is an important rite of passage required by both the living and the dead to recover from the trauma of death. Without it the separation between them never actually reaches that stage when the living accept the fact that a loved one has become a spirit and therefore the dead cannot become free from their earthly consciousness. Tears carry the dead home, for they release a powerful emotional energy which provides them with a sense of completion and closure.
When someone dies among Malidoma’s people in West Africa the village erupts with emotion as the women begin a guttural wailing to announce to the village and the spirit world that a death has taken place. The rituals of communal mourning which follow allow everyone the opportunity to reach a cathartic peak of grief and release all their emotional