FOUR STAGES OF ADULT DEVELOPMENT
THE ATHLETE
The word “athlete” is not meant to disparage athletes or athletic behavior. It is intended as a description of the time in our adult lives when our primary identification is with our physical body and how it functions in our everyday world. This is the time when we measure our worth and our happiness by our physical appearance and abilities.
Those abilities are multitudinous and uniquely personal. They can include such things as how fast we run, how far we throw a ball, how high we can jump and the size of our muscles. We judge the worthiness of our physical appearance by a standard of attractiveness based on the shape, size, color and texture of body parts, hair and complexion. In a consumer culture like ours, judgment even extends to the appearance of our automobiles, houses and clothes.
These are the concerns one has when he or she is in the earliest stage of adult development. This is the time when life seems impossible without a mirror and a steady stream of approval to make us feel secure. The stage of the athlete is the time in our adult development when we are almost completely identified with our performance, attractiveness and achievements.
Many people outgrow the stage of the athlete and make other considerations more significant. Some of us, depending on our personal circumstances, move in and out of this stage. A few stay in the athlete stage for their entire lives.
Whether or not you have moved beyond the athlete stage is determined by how fixated you are on your body as your primary source of self-identification. Obviously, it is healthy to take good care of your body by treating it kindly and exercising and nourishing it in the best way your circumstances allow. Having pride in your physical appearance and enjoying compliments does not mean you are body-fixated. However, if your daily activities revolve around a predetermined standard of performance and appearance, you are in the stage that I am calling “the athlete.”
This is not a stage in which you can practice the art of manifesting. To reach the ability to know and use your divine inner energy, you must move beyond your identification as being exclusively a physical body.
THE WARRIOR
When we leave the athlete stage behind, we generally enter the stage of the warrior. This is the time when the ego dominates our lives and we feel compelled to conquer the world to demonstrate our superiority. My definition of ego is the idea that we have of ourselves as important and separate from everyone else. This can be an acronym for Earth Guide Only since ego represents our exclusive identification with our physical selves in our material world.
The ego-driven warrior objective is to subdue and defeat others in a race for the number-one spot. During this stage we are busy with goals and achievements in competition with others. This ego-dominated stage is full of anxiety and endless comparison of our success. Trophies, awards, titles and the accumulation of material objects record our achievements. The warrior is intensely concerned with the future and who might be in his way or interfere with his status. He is motivated with slogans such as: “If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there?”; “Time is money, and money is everything”; “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing”; “Life is a struggle”; “If I don’t get mine, someone else will.”
In the warrior stage, status and position in life are obsessions. Convincing others of our superiority is the theme of this other-centered time of life in which the ego is the director. This is the time when we are attempting to do what warriors do: conquer and claim the spoils of our battles for ourselves.
The test of whether you have left this stage is to examine what it is that is the driving force in your life. If the answer is conquering, defeating, acquiring, comparing and winning at all costs, then it is clear that you are still in the warrior stage. You can probably regularly shift in and out of the warrior stage as a way of effectively functioning in the marketplace. Only you can determine how intensely that attitude dominates your existence and drives your life. If you do live primarily at this level, you will be unable to become a manifester in the sense that I am describing.
THE STATESPERSON
The statesperson stage of life is the time when we have tamed our ego and shifted our awareness. In this stage we want to know what is important to the other person. Rather than obsessing over our quotas, we can ask what your quotas are with genuine interest. We have begun to know that our primary purpose is to give rather than to get. The statesperson is still an achiever and quite often athletic. However, the inner drive is to serve others.
Authentic freedom cannot be experienced until one learns to tame the ego and move out of self-absorption. When you find yourself upset, anxious or feeling off purpose, ask yourself how much of your emotional state has to do with your assessment of how you are being treated and perceived. When you can let go of your own thoughts about yourself and not think of yourself for a long period of time, that is when you are free.
Shifting out of the warrior stage and into the statesperson stage of life was an extremely freeing experience for me. Before I made the shift I had to consider all of my ego needs when I gave a public lecture. This meant worrisome thoughts about how I would be received and reviewed, whether people would want to purchase my books and tapes, or fears about losing my place and becoming embarrassed.
Then came a time when, without any concerted effort, I began to meditate before my lectures. During my meditation I would silently recite a mantra asking how I might serve. My speaking improved significantly when I shifted away from my ego and entered the stage of statesperson.
The statesperson stage of adulthood is about service and gratefulness for all that shows up in your life. At this level you are very close to your highest self. The primary force in your life is no longer the desire to be the most powerful and attractive or to dominate and conquer. You have entered the realm of inner peace. It is always in the service of others, regardless of what you do or what your interests are, that you find the bliss you are seeking.
One of the most touching stories I have ever heard is of Mother Teresa, who even in her eighties ministers to the downtrodden in the streets of Calcutta. A friend of mine in Phoenix was scheduled to do a radio interview with her. As they spoke before the interview, Pat said to her, “Mother Teresa, is there anything I can do to help you with your cause? Could I help you raise money or give you some publicity?”
Mother Teresa replied, “No, Pat, there is nothing that you need do. My cause is not about publicity, and it is not about money. It is about something much higher than that.”
Pat persisted, saying, “Isn’t there anything I can do for you? I feel so helpless.”
Mother Teresa’s response was, “If you really want to do something, Pat, tomorrow morning get up at four A.M. and go out on the streets of Phoenix. Find someone living there who believes that he is alone, and convince him that he is not. That is what you can do.” This is a true statesperson, giving of herself each and every day.
When we help others to know that they are not alone, that they too have a divine spirit within them regardless of the circumstances of their lives, we move to a higher self that provides us with a sense of peace and purpose unavailable in the athlete and warrior experiences. It is here that we might recall the words of Mother Teresa: “I see Jesus Christ every day in all of his distressing disguises.”
There is one stage even higher than the statesperson. The fourth stage is where I have been carefully leading you on this journey of awareness development.
THE SPIRIT
When you enter this stage of life, regardless of your age or position, you recognize your truest essence, the highest self. When you know your highest self, you are on your way to becoming a co-creator of your entire world, learning to manage the circumstances of your life and participating with assurance in the act of creation. You literally become a manifester.
The spirit stage of life is characterized by an awareness that