I saw the rooks I had spotted earlier, their squally shrieks persistent.
I started back towards the farmhouse and opened the small gate leading onto the property. Off to my left stood a red tractor; a radio sat on its bonnet with the odd, wispy note of a song only just able to penetrate the static. Whoever had put it there hadn’t bothered tuning it properly. Glimpsing movement off to my right, I turned and caught sight of six dogs caged in kennels. They were busy tearing through large cuts of raw meat. An albino sheepdog looked up momentarily, blood staining the fur around its mouth.
‘Yes?’
I looked away quickly and towards the door. A small woman stood in its entrance. She had an apron on and held a dishcloth in her hands.
I started, unsure of what I wanted to say. ‘I’m Zoe Hall’s mother. My daughter’s missing.’
The woman strode out of the house. ‘You have no right being here. The bloody old bill have been, scoured the farm.’ She pointed. ‘The land.’ The woman pulled the door behind her. ‘Get away from here.’
I stood up straighter. ‘I know my daughter was here. Her friend said they came up this way on Thursday and spoke to your husband.’
The woman glared at me. ‘I bet your daughter’s little friend didn’t tell you how she was acting. Like a girl who needs her mother, if you ask me.’ She took a few steps towards me again.
I started to back away, my pulse quickening. ‘What is that meant to mean?’
‘Like she knew exactly what she was doing.’ She glared. ‘She wouldn’t even have been up here if you kept an eye on her.’ She gestured abruptly with her hand. ‘Now, get off my land.’
I stumbled as I made my way further backwards. ‘It’s not true,’ I sobbed. ‘Please, I just want my daughter to come home.’ Finally, I turned, fumbled with the latch on the gate, my eyes blurring over with tears.
‘I don’t know where your daughter is. We keep ourselves to ourselves. That’s how we like it,’ the woman shouted after me.
I moved hurriedly towards the car and got in. Sitting back momentarily, I tried to control my breathing, gripping the steering wheel. I glanced in my wing mirror and spotted a patrol car making its way up the road, and took one last look at the bungalow. The woman was standing at a window, unmoving, watching. Waiting for me to leave.
I started the engine and made a U-turn in the road. I was relieved to see a woman behind the wheel of the patrol car, no one I recognised. And then, I saw him. Jerry Wyre, his forehead pressed up against the glass of the rear seat window. As the car drove past, I braked to get a better look at him. My heart stopped when I saw the whites of his eyes. He caught my eye and ran his tongue over the glass; a long, slug-like smear was left in its wake, and I could have sworn, once again, he smiled.
***
As I drove home, I spotted Keira walking hurriedly from the corner shop back in the direction of her house. I drove up alongside her and put down the passenger window. She looked in and drew a sharp breath, her eyes widening.
‘Keira, I think we need to talk, don’t you?’
‘Nothing to talk about,’ she said quickly.
Keira started to move faster and I was forced to pull up and run after her.
‘Keira, turn around!’ My voice cut through the quiet of the empty Chilcote street.
She stopped and turned her body slowly to face mine, her face streaked with tears.
‘Leave me alone. My mum said if you talk to me, I have to tell you to leave me alone.’
I came up close. ‘Look, Keira, I need you to be straight with me. This is no time to play games. Zoe is missing and if you know anything, if you know where she is, just tell me now.’ I looked at her, imploring. ‘Keira, please.’
‘I don’t know anything. Me and Zoe went up to the farm on Thursday. Zoe was kind of…’ She paused. ‘You know?’
‘No, Keira, I don’t know. Tell me.’
‘She flirted a bit with Jerry Wyre, the farmer.’
My heart started to beat faster. ‘And what did he do?’
‘He got angry.’ She looked down at her scuffed trainers. ‘I guess we did kind of take it too far.’
‘Too far?’ I stepped closer, clenching and unclenching my fists.
Keira backed off slightly. ‘Yeah, I mean he told us to go away and I was filming because we thought we could use it in some way for our film project. Only we didn’t go when he asked. Zoe kept at him.’ She cleared her throat, her lower lip wobbling. ‘I told her to stop but she wouldn’t. She was in a really angry mood and wouldn’t listen.’
‘Why was she so angry?’
Keira brought her head up, her eyes on mine. ‘Because she feels like you’re never around any more. That’s how I know how much time you’ve been spending at work. Zoe told me you care more about your students than you do her.’
I blinked and swallowed hard. ‘It’s not true. It is quite the opposite.’
Keira jutted her jaw out defiantly. ‘That’s not how Zoe sees it.’
I saw Keira’s mother at the end of the street and watched her head quickly our way.
‘Freya, leave my daughter alone! She’s told me how you think she got Zoe in trouble. You shouldn’t go around accusing my daughter of things like that,’ Angela Sullivan was shouting, her gait fast as she pounded the pavement, getting closer and closer.
Keira had turned to look at her mother and now backed away from me, moving towards the safety of Angela’s arms.
Angela drew Keira in and then, as quickly as she had arrived, led Keira away.
‘Keira,’ I called after her, my voice cracking with fear. ‘Do you know anything?’
‘Leave her be, Freya,’ Angela called back, the light from the street lamp pooling around their feet. ‘Just leave my daughter alone. It’s your own fault you let Zoe out of your sight.’
I returned home shaken by Keira’s words and unable to rid myself of the image of the farmer, of Jerry Wyre, licking the car window. It unnerved me. It was as if they could both see through me, see the secrets I was keeping. Maybe, when I thought about what Keira had said – about my staying away at work all the time – I had actually drawn attention to myself, not deflected it away from me. I started to shake as I realised, my stomach churning, that when I had tried to end my relationship with Robert in May, I should have been more forceful. Instead, I had kidded myself that I could keep my lives separate. The gut-wrenching truth was that both worlds had seeped into one another and I hadn’t noticed.
Shaking my head, I tried to get a grip on what I actually knew, and push down the sea of unknowns. What was clear was that Keira was adamant that she had not seen Zoe since Thursday and that they had visited the farm. I approached Carter about it; I felt I needed to push him. Make sure he acknowledged my maternal instinct.
‘He may well have our daughter.’ I glared at Carter, feeling increasingly out of control and needing to vent. ‘He licked the window. I mean, who does that?’ I released a long, shaky breath. ‘He knew he could get to me.’ When Carter didn’t say anything, I continued, ‘I just can’t believe you let him go.’ I paused, only momentarily.
Stephen came into the kitchen, catching the tail end of our conversation. ‘What on earth’s going on in here?’
I stood. ‘I just went up to the farm…’ My eyes flicked towards Carter guiltily. ‘And I spoke to the woman, the wife. She told me to go away, in no uncertain terms.’