for the wedding then lay it on me, I’m here to serve.
Eve xx
That should do it. If there was one thing Tanya loved more than sulking it was writing To Do Lists. Eve busied herself for the rest of the morning researching her latest feature on registry gifts for the couple that had everything. So far, she had a tandem bike, because no one actually had one of those and it sounded fun to yomp around Hyde Park on one every Sunday morning, and a monthly subscription for a case of specialist wine. If she was going to fill three double page spreads, she’d need more than that. There was a current trend for couples asking guests to contribute towards their honeymoon by paying for different activities or meals out – a tapas meal for two; a paragliding session; a couple’s massage on a beach. That was actually a great idea. Gone were the days when two people moved from their parent’s homes to a shared marital home and needed everything to set them up for life. Most couples now came to a relationship with two sets of crockery, two microwaves, two irons and more furniture than could possibly fit into one house, so crowdfunding for an all-singing, all-dancing honeymoon was perhaps the future of the gift registry. It would certainly provide enough fodder for at least two of the pages.
An email from Tanya broke Eve’s concentration.
Hi.
Eve noted the full stop at the end of the greeting. That wasn’t a good sign.
Obviously it wasn’t the hen party I’d envisioned, but there’s no point wallowing about it when there’s so much still to do. As you know, the wedding is twelve days away, and there are lots of loose ends that are still bothering me, so if you mean it and you do want to help, here are some things you can be getting on with:
1. Book five minibuses to take people from the church to the reception.
2. Find some of those iron-on strips that hem fabric, I need about 45 metres of it.
3. Pick up the fabric from me and hem all the fabric that will be suspended from the ceilings.
4. Find one of those machines that polishes wooden floors. I visited the venue yesterday afternoon after getting back from the hen weekend early, and the floor is a state.
5. The day before the wedding, go to the venue before the rehearsal at the church and hang the fabric up and polish the floors.
Eve stopped reading. This wasn’t a list of loose ends, this was penance. She might as well fashion together a bunch of willow stems and self-flagellate for her sins. Polish the floors? Hem the curtains? Tanya had lost the plot. This wasn’t even the end of the list.
6. The day after the wedding, polish the floors again, it’s bound to have stuff spilt on it and we need to get our deposit back.
7. Luke left it too late to book Coco in at the kennels for our honeymoon, so can you have her for the two weeks? You can stay at ours as it’s probably easier than her being in your flat, and we live nearer your work than you do. Becca can come too if she likes. Don’t make a mess though.
8. Please tell me you picked up your bridesmaid dress from the tailors and it fits?
I think that’s everything for now, but there might be more, will let you know when I think of something else. You’re a star.
Tx
When I think of something else. Not if. When. This punishment had the potential to go on and on, Eve thought. She wished that she was the type to simply refuse, to write back that she could book the minibuses but that was it. Possibly buy the iron-on hemming stuff, once she googled what that was, but she was absolutely not going to iron them on.
Unless she had the time.
But on no account was she going to polish the floors. Who did Tanya think Eve was, Mrs bloody Mop? They did made it look so easy on Sixty Minute Makeover though, and it would be amazing for the biceps, she imagined, which would please her trainer Juan.
But looking after a dog for two whole weeks? She could barely keep the pot of basil next to her sink alive. But then again, it would be good to have a shorter commute for a fortnight. She could actually walk to work from Tanya’s, rather than contend with the tube. And the weather was lovely at the moment. And since moving back, she hadn’t made many other friends yet so really needed to hang onto the ones she already had.
Ok, she typed back. Am on it. And yes, picked up dress, fits like a glove.
A very tight glove that stops the blood circulating round your body.
Eve’s aversion to lycra meant that she insisted on pulling on shapeless tracksuit bottoms and a man’s oversized T-shirt to exercise in. Kat tutted as Eve came out of the loos into the now empty office. It was just after seven and everyone had left.
‘Isn’t Juan single now?’
Eve grimaced. ‘He’s my personal trainer, Kat.’
‘So? He’s gorgeous, and looking for love. It might be time to invest in some gym gear that has the potential to get his pulse racing.’
‘Doing laps of the park does that.’
‘I’m just saying, a bit of lippy wouldn’t hurt.’
‘And I’m just saying, I’ve never thought of Juan like that, and don’t intend to start now. Anyway, he spent the last three sessions talking about how women are the curse of the earth and even made a jibe about my namesake, so I don’t think he’s harbouring secret lustful thoughts towards me.’
‘Not if you keep wearing tracksuit bottoms.’
‘When my Prince Charming eventually turns up,’ Eve replied with a toss of her head, ‘he’ll love my tracksuit. Anyway, why are you still here?’
Kat groaned. ‘Sales have sold an advertorial in the beauty section and I need to put together a storyboard to present to their clients tomorrow. So I’ll be here for a while yet.’
Just then, Eve’s phone buzzed. It was her brother, Adam.
‘Where are you?’ he started, dispensing with the customary greeting of hello.
‘Just leaving the office, where are you?’
‘Mum and I are waiting for you at the restaurant, how long are you going to be?’
Eve’s eyes widened in horror. She’d completely forgotten her mum’s birthday dinner tonight. It had been planned weeks ago, and in all the mayhem of Tanya’s hen and wedding, it had slipped her mind.
‘I’ll be there in twenty minutes or so, buy some champagne, I’ll pay.’ Eve quickly got off the phone and swung round to face Kat. ‘Bugger, I’m meant to be at my mum’s birthday dinner now! Oh my God Kat, I have nothing to wear, I spilt coffee down my shirt earlier on, and it’s really posh, and I need to cancel Juan, but he’s probably already there, oh God, what shall I do?’ Eve took a few deep breaths, and a plan started forming in her mind. ‘Can you go to my session for me? Please? He’ll seriously strike me off if I cancel again, and I need him in order to fit into that awful bridesmaid dress in twelve days’ time.’ Eve motioned to the long pink dress that was hanging from the filing cabinet drawer, covered in long transparent plastic. ‘Bingo!’
‘What?’
‘My outfit for this evening! As long as I don’t attempt to eat, drink, sit down or walk, it’ll be fine! Yay, all sorted.’ She started pulling off her tracksuit and wriggling into the dress, hoping that Fiona hadn’t installed hidden cameras in the open-plan office. ‘Help me do it up,’ she said, turning her back to Kat.
It took a few attempts, and