Beaumont Francis

The Little French Lawyer: A Comedy


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the same vigour.

      Champ. You shall buy these scoffs

      With your best blood: help me once noble anger,

      (Nay stir not, I alone must right my self)

      And with one leg transport me, to correct

      These scandalous praters: O that noble wounds                     [Falls.

      Should hinder just revenge! D'ye jear me too?

      I got these, not as you do, your diseases

      In Brothels, or with riotous abuse

      Of wine in Taverns; I have one leg shot,

      One arm disabled, and am honour'd more,

      By losing them, as I did, in the face

      Of a brave enemy, than if they were

      As when I put to Sea; you are French-men only,

      In that you have been laied, and cur'd, goe to:

      You mock my leg, but every bone about you,

      Makes you good Almanack-makers, to foretell

      What weather we shall have.

      Din. Put up your Sword.

      Cler. Or turn it to a Crutch, there't may b[e] usefull,

      And live on the relation to your Wife

      Of what a brave man you were once.

      Din. And tell her,

      What a fine vertue 'tis in a young Lady

      To give an old man pap.

      Cler. Or hire a Surgeon

      To teach her to roul up your broken limbs.

      Din. To make a Pultess, and endure the scent

      Of oils, and nasty Plasters.

      Verta. Fie Sir, fie,

      You that have stood all dangers of all kinds, to

      Yield to a Rivalls scoffe?

      Lamira. Shed tears upon

      Your Wedding day? this is unmanly Gentlemen.

      Champ. They are tears of anger: O that I should live

      To play the woman thus! All powerfull heaven,

      Restore me, but one hour, that strength again,

      That I had once, to chastise in these men

      Their folies, and ill manners, and that done,

      When you please, I'le yield up the fort of life,

      And do it gladly.

      Cler. We ha' the better of him,

      We ha' made him cry.

      Verdo. You shall have satisfaction.

      And I will do it nobly, or disclaim me.

      Beaup. I say no more, you have a Brother, Sister,

      This is your wedding day, we are in the street,

      And howsoever they forget their honour,

      'Tis fit I lose not mine, by their example.

      Vert. If there be Laws in Paris, look to answer

      This insolent affront.

      Cler. You that live by them,

      Study 'em for heavens sake; for my part I know not

      Nor care not what they are. Is the[re] ought else

      That you would say;

      Din. Nothing, I have my ends.

      Lamira weeps, I have said too much I fear;

      So dearly once I lov'd her, that I cannot

      Endure to see her tears.                     [Exeunt Dinant, and Cleremont.

      Champ. See you perform it,

      And do it like my Nephew.

      Verdo. If I fail in't

      Ne'r know me more, Cousin Beaupre.

      Champ. Repent not

      What thou hast done, my life, thou shalt not find

      I am decrepit; in my love and service,

      I will be young, and constant, and believe me,

      For thou shalt find it true, in scorn of all

      The scandals these rude men have thrown upon me

      I'le meet thy pleasures with a young mans ardour,

      And in all circumstances of a Husband,

      Perform my part.

      Lamira. Good Sir, I am your servant,

      And 'tis too late now, if I did repent,

      (Which as I am a virgin yet, I do not)

      To undoe the knot, that by the Church is tyed.

      Only I would beseech ye, as you have

      A good opinion of me, and my vertues,

      For so you have pleas'd to stile my innocent weakness,

      That what hath pass'd be[t]ween Dinant and me,

      Or what now in your hearing he hath spoken,

      Beget not doubts, or fears.

      Champ. I apprehend you,

      You think I will be jealous; as I live

      Thou art mistaken sweet; and to confirm it

      Discourse with whom thou wilt, ride where thou wilt,

      Feast whom thou wilt, as often as thou wilt,

      For I will have no other guards upon thee

      Than thine own thoughts.

      Lamira. I'le use this liberty

      With moderation Sir.

      Beaup. I am resolv'd.

      Steal off, I'le follow you.

      Champ. Come Sir, you droop;

      Till you find cause, which I shall never give,

      Dislike not of your Son in Law.

      Verta. Sir, you teach me

      The language I should use; I am most happy

      In being so near you.                     [Exeunt Verdone, and Beaupre.

      Lamira. O my fears! good nurse

      Follow my Brother unobserv'd, and learn

      Which way he takes.

      Nurs. I will be carefull Madam.                     [Exit Nurse.

      Champ. Between us complements are superfluous,

      On Gentlemen, th' affront we have met here

      We'l think upon hereafter, 'twere unfit

      To cherish any thought to breed unrest,

      Or to our selves, or to our Nuptial feast.                     [Exeunt.

      Enter Dinant, and Cleremont.

      Cler. We shall have sport, ne'r fear't.

      Din. What sport I prethee?

      Cler.