That I can’t hide behind.
It should never have been like this,
I must have been out of my mind.
There’s been no belonging, no owning,
I thought I was being smart,
I can’t believe how wrong I have been
Right from the start.
Half of my life has been wasted,
But the other half won’t be
Because I’m picking up the pieces
And starting all over again.
During Betty’s career as a medium, healer and clairvoyant she would speak to countless clients who visited her about their near-death experiences. They all spoke of being in a dark tunnel and being propelled through this tunnel out into a brilliant white light. They spoke of being bemused, not knowing where they were or what was happening to them. Suddenly all fear disappeared and eternity had been found. It was such a consistent story from wildly different people that Betty knew it must be true.
I couldn’t understand
The place I was in.
There was no space
I couldn’t breathe.
Then I was on my feet,
Strange thoughts crossed my mind.
The heavens laid bare
By a golden light
I had just reached.
I have no fears,
For, if this is eternity,
I can now sleep
As I have never slept before.
I have found the door
I have been looking for.
Music was certainly a huge part of Betty’s life. In her twenties she studied opera and performed in many different operatic roles, one being ‘Queen of the Night’ by Mozart. Her idol was the great Maria Callas, for Betty’s voice was identical – crisp, clear, enchanting and mystical. Betty’s choice of music went from opera right through to pop. She would often go to musicals in the West End and talk for hours afterwards about the performance and how much she had enjoyed the evening. Betty knew many celebrities in showbusiness and the stage was a familiar place for her to be. She would always support up-and-coming young artists new on the scene, as she knew how terribly hard it was to make it in the music business. Frank Sinatra was her favourite artist and I often heard her singing at the top of her voice, ‘I Did It My Way’! And so she did!
Betty could command an audience in a split second with her smooth, silky, hypnotic voice. In an instant you felt relaxed and at peace. Betty’s healing tapes have sold for over 20 years and continue to be a great success. The lyrics that Betty wrote are in the process of being recorded and published, and as the last verse of this poem says, ‘Then one day, I heard the music playing. And I realised that it was mine’!
I’ve had music in my life
From the day that I was born,
Everyday in every way
I listened and I learned.
Jazz, the classics, rock and pop,
Always cast a spell,
And never failed to take me
Into a fantasy world
Then one day, I had a mind
To show the world what I could do
But I was taught a lesson I’ll not forget,
And the secret of success.
I was told, that without hard work,
You can never be the best
So I played and played
Until I dropped. I couldn’t stop.
Then one day, I heard music
Playing from a corner shop,
And I realised that it was mine
And that I’d made it to the top.
We use the word ‘I’ roughly 200 times per day. It is used in almost every sentence. At least once a day we need to detach ourself from ‘I’ and become ‘we’. Giving ourselves to others is to find ultimate joy.
If we could rid ourselves
of ‘I’ we would understand
the reason why we are here
at all. It is not to ask
all the time for obedience
and love, to make others
thought forms of our imagination
but to accept they must be free
to develop their own personality
to perhaps, just ‘be’.
If we could rid ourselves of
‘I’ we would be releasing
ourselves, living our own lives
without fear and expectancy
of reward. Individuality and
freedom can be attained if we
could rid ourselves of ‘I’ and
in the giving find the ultimate
reason for living.
Having insight into the world beyond provided Betty with one of her greatest comforts. Starting from a very early age she had glimpses throughout her life of this unbelievable dimension. She would describe walking through a cloud or haze to see what was on the other side. Colours were always vivid, the landscapes had a deep mystery about them. She called it her ‘Perfect Place’ where she could be peaceful and rest her mind. This was one of her routes of escape from the physical body, and in times of stress she would travel there. We all need our own ‘Perfect Place’!
Skies of violet and blue
and silver streams
lined with gem-like stones of every hue.
A trail of gold from passing wings
which leaves a mist of dust
that for one second blots out
the cloak of mauve
that hovers over distant hills.
Close encounters with creatures
whose peaceful countenance
sums up the life they never had,
and fills me with pity and with shame
of their past suffering.
The