or even a desire to push Marie’s buttons, but a couple of times when Ali sat down she shoved the table and almost sent glasses and bottles flying.
Each time she did it, the girls all flew to save their drinks and their outfits, and annoyance with her grew rapidly.
‘Oh, for God’s sake,’ Mel snapped, ‘just watch what you’re doing.’
‘I can’t, I have a table leg, look!’ Ali pointed and gently rattled the table. ‘You can’t do anything else with a little skirt and a table leg. You can all bugger off.’ She laughed and toasted them by draining half a glass of red wine.
Marie waited until the next violent shake, and said in as stern a voice as she could manage, ‘Ali, I swear if you do that again I shall spank you.’
The whole table broke up into giggles, except for Ali. She blushed furiously but her half-laugh provided enough cover for the group not to notice. Marie, thrilled by the effect her words had had and keen to take further ground, desperately tried to decide what Ben would say next.
She followed her remark with what she hoped was a meaningful glance and a single, bright-red nail pointed at Ali’s nose. ‘Next time. I mean it.’ With a smile that could have meant anything, she then turned from Ali and asked the girl to her left just what it is about Radley bags that make them so addictive.
‘Why on earth did I need to think of Ben?’ Marie inwardly grumbled. ‘I can do this myself. If I were at work, I would not even think of asking him anything. I have to get a grip. I need my desk and my work head.’
Neither girl dared look at the other for several minutes. Marie felt uncertain that she could carry off her new game, and did not dare to check her progress. Ali was blushing, trying not to knock the table, and fighting such conflicted feelings that she felt on the edge of panic, which she covered with a smile so wide she thought her face would crack.
Marie was somewhat surprised when Ali accepted her offer of a lift home, but it gave Marie a clear indication that she could carry on with her plan. While driving, Marie swore quietly to herself and wished she could ring Ben to find out what to do.
It is all very well knowing what the man should do to make you feel terribly submissive, she thought, but how scary it is to do it. What if she just tells me to go away?
When she was at work, it was so easy to be in charge. She knew how to reduce anyone to a little piece of himself, and then build him back up to be confident and capable. But once in a home environment, she felt like a little girl playing with toys.
She listened to Ali’s pitter pat of chatter as they wove down dark lanes, and knew that Ali was feeling the quirk of submission. Marie recognised the signs of a girl who did not dare let there be silence for fear what might happen in it. It was just how she was with Ben in their early months together. Orange light rose and fell on Ali’s face as they drove out of town, and Marie enjoyed the way Ali’s lipstick looked almost black in the light.
She knew the way and drove the tiny one-track lane to Ali’s house without instructions. Marie parked and waited only a moment before she turned off the engine, and a moment of silence found its way into the car.
‘I want you to come in,’ Ali blurted.
Marie smiled, and hoped her heart did not sound as loud to Ali as it did to her. ‘Well, I shall then,’ she said, feeling, for reasons she did not quite understand, like the fox in a fairy story.
* * *
Marie leaned back on the sofa and crossed her legs, and was glad she had worn stockings. Ben preferred them, of course, but since she was on her own she had considered not bothering. Ali sat by her feet and had gathered up the courage to gently stroke her ankle, fingertips rolling up and down her ankle, a timid touch, a preamble.
‘I’m sorry about today.’
Marie shifted a little in her seat. ‘Ali, I like you so much, but you were awful. You really were. I don’t understand why you lose control like that. It’s as if you have everything going for you, but you just decide to throw it away.’
Ali sat still, her finger resting on the buckle of Marie’s high-heeled shoe.
‘All I wanted to do today was spank you, Ali, and that’s why I sent you away. I wanted to spank you and then I wanted to kiss you, both of which are not really things I should do at work.’ She smiled weakly, her heart pounding.
‘I wish you would.’
She swallowed dryness and surged on. ‘The thing is, I am in love, and you know Ben. He is quite –’ her eyes searched the ceiling for a word ‘– assertive, and there is nothing I don’t share with him, nothing at all.’ She let the moment rest. Somewhere the house creaked, as though approving her confession.
Ali nodded slowly, looking only at the shoe before her. ‘I like Ben. I like him a lot. He spoke to me at the Christmas party, and lots of us have crushes on him. I do, I guess. He’s a bit scary though. Except I think I like that.’ The final part was a whisper too quiet to be heard unless by ears that wished to hear it. ‘But you,’ she continued, ‘you can be scary too. When you are like you are at work, I feel better about myself. I feel safe. Well, not today. I felt crappy about today, and I still do.’
She looked up at Marie.
Marie leaned down and they kissed. Her lips are so soft, Marie thought, her whole self is open to me, and she is waiting for me to act. I want to be the girl who acts. I can be that girl with her.
Ali wore a softer expression now than Marie was used to seeing. She looked expectant, hopeful, shy. She looked, Marie realised, like a girl who hoped to be taken somewhere and did not quite know where.
Everything was as new for Marie as it was for Ali. She was so used to Ben’s hard body, the trim, businesslike shape of a male, his hands that held her, and his lips that were unrelenting and demanding. But Ali’s lips parted and welcomed her while they kissed.They responded to her desire, trembled and followed Marie’s every lead. The girls stood, and Marie felt Ali yield, felt the way Ali waited for her, arms hanging at her sides. Marie reached up and tilted Ali’s head, surprised and empowered by her ability to manoeuvre another human being. She stepped forward and pushed Ali back against the wall, her kisses becoming more urgent and demanding.
Ali made a little noise almost of distress, but Marie knew it was not. It was the sound of wanting that is not quite ready, the sound of desire that wants to be forced to wait, to hold on to itself. Marie had made that sound a thousand times, and she knew this was the time to explore where she could take this pretty, hopeful girl and her desire that was not yet desire.
It was intoxicating. Marie had been given the keys to the castle while the lord was away. For once, it was all about what she wanted, and what she decided. Ali’s breasts rose and fell sharply, and Marie knew how strong her need had grown. She slipped a hand into Ali’s dress and reached for a hard nipple, and with one thumb she encircled the tip, kissing Ali gently until she could feel Ali almost break with wanting.
But still Ali needed to feel the desire more than the release.
Marie knew what she herself wanted, and she knew she could have it. For once, everything would be just as she determined.She did not have to guess or hope; she could instruct and create. She looked into Ali’s expectant eyes, and saw them sadden as she pulled away.
Marie walked to the centre of the room, her heels announcing themselves on the wooden floor.
‘Come here,’ she commanded.
To her amazement, Ali did. She walked carefully, taking each step as if a thousand men looked on. But it was only Marie in front of the girl, waiting in barely hidden amazement to receive her.
Ali stood just where Marie had chosen. Her shoulders were square but her eyes were down, and a gentle blush spread across her cheeks, like a doll, or a design in a computer model. Marie knew what she wanted.
‘Turn around.’ Marie watched the confusion in Ali’s eyes as she obeyed. Her feet shuffled as she turned;