to ring. She pulled over. Seeing the caller was Barry, she waited for it to stop ringing, then turned the bloody thing off. She closed her eyes. ‘Dear God. I can’t be alone, I’m not strong enough. Please find my Wayne and send him home to me. Amen.’
Stephanie waited for her tears to subside, then continued her journey.
‘Mummy,’ Dannielle yelled, running out of the house to greet her.
‘You all right, darling? Where’s your brother? Has he been behaving himself?’
‘No, Mum. Tyler’s been naughty,’ Dannielle replied, honestly.
Pam gave her daughter a big hug as she walked into the hallway. ‘You OK, love? Don’t be worrying about Tammy. I’m sure she’ll be in touch before she goes to Spain.’
‘I’m not bothered if she rings me or not, to be honest. Has Tyler been OK?’
‘He had one little tantrum earlier, but he’s been fine other than that,’ Pam replied. She had marks on her already swollen ankles where the little sod had kicked her, but she wasn’t about to tell Steph that. Her daughter had enough on her plate as it was. ‘Do you want a cup of tea, love?’
‘No, but I could kill a glass of wine,’ Steph said, handing her mum a carrier bag. She had stopped at the off-licence on the way over and bought a couple of bottles.
‘Try and find out what’s a matter with Lin for me. She’s been ever so quiet since she got ’ere and she asked for a cuppa rather than a beer. Keith’s gone up the Vernon for a pint with Michael and I don’t think they’d had a row as they seemed friendly enough towards one another. She’ll talk to you,’ Pam whispered in her daughter’s ear.
Pam made sure everybody had a drink then sat down on the sofa. She was in hysterics as Cathy told Linda and Stephanie the story of Barry’s sister Chantelle, who’d had a fight in the street earlier with her ex-boyfriend. Pam and Cath had found it compelling viewing. It was pure comedy gold.
‘Talk about like mother like daughter. How that poor Barry ever got lumbered with Chantelle as a sister and Marlene as a mother, I will never know. He’s such a lovely boy compared to those two,’ Pam said.
Stephanie didn’t answer and was relieved when Dannielle asked, ‘What time will dinner be ready?’
When her mum and Cathy dashed out to the kitchen to start dishing up, Steph moved over to where Linda was sitting. ‘What’s up with you? Why aren’t you drinking?’
Linda took a deep breath. ‘If I tell you, don’t say nothing to your mum until Keith gets back, will ya?’
‘What’s a matter? You’re not ill, are you?’ Stephanie asked anxiously.
Linda grinned. ‘No. I’m up the duff.’
Barry was sitting in a restaurant in Hornchurch, tucking into a bit of steak. He had been trying to ring Stephanie for the past three hours and knew she must be purposely avoiding his calls. Pushing his plate to one side, Barry took a sip of his lager. As a lad he had fantasized over what it would be like to make love to Stephanie many a time, and for a long time after he had split with her, Barry had still had some weird obsession about her. He had hated Steph with a passion, yet he’d always slept with girls who reminded him of her in some way. He had slept with loads of other birds, too, ones who hadn’t reminded him of Steph, but it was the ones who had, whom he’d enjoyed the sex with more. Picking up his mobile, Barry tried both of Stephanie’s numbers once again. He knew she must feel embarrassed over what had happened the previous evening, so he motioned to the waiter to bring him the bill. Barry downed the rest of his drink and ran his fingers through his hair. Last night’s shenanigans had disturbed him slightly, and he knew that the quicker he did what he had to do and sodded off back to Spain, the better. Leaving thirty quid on the table, Barry stood up. It was time to pay Stephanie a little visit.
Back in Dagenham, Pam was in a state of incredulous shock. ‘Pregnant! Whaddya mean, you’re pregnant?’
Keith squeezed Linda’s hand. ‘Lin means that me and her are going to have a baby, Pam. What do you think she means?’ he asked.
Pam started to laugh. ‘You’re winding me up, you pair of sods, ain’t ya?’
It was now Stephanie’s turn to squeeze her mother’s hand. ‘Lin isn’t joking, Mum. She really is pregnant.’
‘But you can’t have a baby. You’re forty next month and how you gonna cope with your size, Lin?’ Pam stuttered.
Linda shook her head in annoyance. Seconds later she gave her elder sister what for. ‘You’re just like Mum deep down, ain’t ya, Pam? You pretend you ain’t, but I know that you are. I will always be grateful to you for letting me live with you when Mum died, but whenever I’m around you, I know you see me as different. And why? Because I’m a dwarf, that’s why. What you seem to forget, sis, is that I’m still a woman. A woman that unbeknown to you has craved to have the love of a good man and a child of my own for many years. I never told you that, why would I? I always knew you’d behave like this if I ever mentioned the fact that I wanted a baby. Well, let me tell you something. After years of being treated like a freak and a fucking outcast, my dreams have finally come true. So don’t you dare try and spoil this happy moment for me, Pam. Don’t you dare!’
Pam’s eyes welled up. ‘I’m not trying to spoil anything for you, Lin. I just worry about you, that’s all. Both you and Keith are heavy drinkers and surely there’s a fifty-fifty chance that your child might be born a dwarf. Have you even thought about that?’
Absolutely livid, Linda walked over to where Pam was sitting and pointed a stubby finger in her face. ‘Have I had a drink today? No, I fucking haven’t! As for the chances of my baby being born with dwarfism, so what if it is? I’m gonna love my baby whatever size, shape or deformity it might have. Even if it was born with no fingers or toes, or had Down’s Syndrome or something, I would still love that child more than any mother could. And do you know why? Because I know what it’s like to be different.’
‘I’m sorry, Lin. Let’s not fall out over this,’ Pam said, wiping her eyes with a tissue.
‘Stick your sorrys up your arse, ’cause I ain’t in the mood for ’em today,’ Lin said bluntly. She walked over to her boyfriend and grabbed him by the hand. ‘Come on, Keith, we’re going home.’
Barry pulled up on Stephanie’s driveway. Wayne’s hire-purchase car had gone back last week, but Steph’s car wasn’t there either, and Barry wondered if she had hidden it around the corner because she was trying to avoid him. He knocked on the front door. The house was in darkness, so he put his ear to the letterbox to see if he could hear the kids at all. He couldn’t hear a dickie bird, and after numerous knocks and rings on the bell, he was sure that no one was home. Kicking at the gravel in frustration, Barry got back in his car. The only other place he could think of where Steph could be was her mother’s house. Debating whether to drive straight round there, Barry decided not to. He would go to a nearby pub, and if Stephanie wasn’t home in the next couple of hours, he would then take a little trip over to Dagenham.
When Cathy and Michael left, Steph put the kids to bed, then she and her mum shared a much-needed bottle of wine between them.
‘I’m so worried about Lin, Steph, and it ain’t just her height. She’s nearly forty, for Christ’s sake. I never knew my mum’s sister, but I remember my mum telling me that she had a kid in her forties and died in childbirth. Say that happens to Lin. I mean, say her little frame can’t cope with pushing a baby out?’
Stephanie said nothing. She could understand why her mum was concerned about Lin, but she had so much going on in her own life at the moment, her aunt falling pregnant was the least of her worries.
Sensing that Steph had other things on her mind, Pam squeezed her daughter’s hand. ‘Do you want to tell me why you and Tammy fell out?’ she asked.
Stephanie explained in detail what had happened at the restaurant. She was still furious