he said, smiling cheekily at me.
‘Hi,’ I replied cheerfully. ‘How are you?’
‘Fine, thanks.’
There was an awkward pause during which Jayjay, Bobbi and I all stared at each other with frozen smiles.
‘Well, I’d better go,’ Anthony said. ‘Lovely to see you again, Bobbi. Nice to meet you, Jojo.’ And then he was gone. The door slammed shut behind him and Bobbi and I looked at each other.
‘Oh, my God! Are you all right?’ Bobbi asked as she peeled off her denim jacket.
I nodded mutely and sat down on the wooden chair next to me. ‘Bit of a shock.’
‘I bet it was.’
Jayjay looked confused. ‘Not being funny, but what was all that fiancé stuff about?’
‘Elena told Anthony that Rachel was engaged to someone called Jayjay, so you’ve got to pretend to be her fiancé every time Anthony’s around.’
‘Oh.’ A frown appeared on his face and he ran a hand through his dark hair. ‘Why?’
I opened my mouth to respond, then shut it again. I wasn’t sure why either. Luckily, Bobbi seemed to understand everything perfectly.
‘Because Rachel’s still in love with Anthony but she doesn’t want him to know that so she’s pretending to have moved on.’
‘Hey!’ I protested.
‘Oh.’ Jayjay’s face cleared and he laughed. ‘So I’m like a stunt double?’
‘Erm… if you like.’ Bobbi laughed and rolled her eyes at me.
‘Cool.’ Jayjay laughed. ‘Right, I’d better get going.’ He leaned over to kiss Bobbi. ‘I’ll pick you up later, okay?’
‘Okay. Bye.’ Bobbi watched him go, her face slightly flushed and her eyes bright. I smiled at her.
‘Thank you for that. I never thought we’d ever actually have to pretend.’
Bobbi laughed. ‘I think it’s funny. I can’t believe Anthony was here. What did he want? Just to see you?’
‘No, he wanted Daniel and Elena’s number so he could call and pester them about the wedding.’
‘Really? Like a pushy salesman?’
‘Pretty much.’
Bobbi winced. ‘Still, it was nice to see him again. He looked well.’
‘Hmm, he did.’ I gnawed at a fingernail and stared at the rough brick of the wall opposite. Now Anthony had gone, I missed him desperately.
‘Anyway,’ Bobbi continued, ‘do you want to go for your lunch now I’m back? You look like you need a break.’
‘Do I look that bad?’ I laughed as I stood up and reached for my coat.
‘Not bad. Just a bit shell-shocked, that’s all. It must be difficult seeing him again after the way he finished with you. I must say, you’ve been very restrained about it all. I think I would have punched him in the nuts.’
I laughed, picturing the scene. ‘Tempting, but not very dignified.’
‘But ultimately very satisfying. See you later.’
I went out on to the street and turned right to go down to the river. The busy city centre with its tourists, shoppers and office workers rushing to get their lunch held no appeal for me today. My nerves were too frayed and the only thing I needed was some fresh air and space to think. The blustery wind had goose bumps racing across my flesh and my skirt billowing around my legs. It was a lot colder than it had been last week at Willow Hall.
But as I was walking, it occurred to me Anthony might still be around somewhere, getting a bite to eat in a café or simply looking around the shops. I stopped suddenly as an overwhelming urge to find him took hold. The woman walking behind tutted loudly and cast an irritated look over her shoulder as she scooted around me.
‘Sorry,’ I muttered, before forcing myself to carry on towards the river. What was I thinking? I’d been almost relieved when he left the shop just now. The conversation had been so awkward and stilted, and so much remained unsaid between us, that it had been almost painful. And yet, I still had some kind of masochistic urge to see and speak to him again. It wouldn’t do. I needed to get some control over my emotions. Anthony wasn’t interested in me. He’d only come to the shop to find out about Elena’s wedding. He didn’t even care that I was engaged – or, rather, pretending to be engaged. All he cared about was drumming up business for Willow Hall.
I couldn’t blame him. It was he who had finished it, after all, and that was more than a year ago. Any normal person would be able to move on with their life, and he obviously had. It was only me clinging to the past, trying to hold on to something that had long since died. I couldn’t even understand why I was still so attached to him. I’d had plenty of boyfriends in the past who had meant nothing to me. They’d come and gone from my life and I’d given them barely a second thought. Okay, so he was the only man I’d ever lived with, but that was only because my house had been flooded by a burst boiler so he’d offered to let me stay. It wasn’t like we’d bought a house together, chosen furniture, shared dreams. We hadn’t even been together that long. Just four months. Maybe that was why I couldn’t get over him. It had all felt so new and exciting, and then he’d had the accident and shut me out when I was agonised with worry.
The river was only at the bottom of the street. Cars trundled past and, spotting a break in the traffic as the lights turned red, I nipped across the road. A stiff breeze was stripping pink blossom from the trees and blowing it up the street, where it nestled in pavement cracks and gathered in gutters. Spring was a time of new life and fresh starts, but I always felt sorry for the blossom that ended its short life soiled and damaged on the ground.
The riverfront was surprisingly busy for a weekday. I paused by the weir to watch a cormorant fish in the rushing water, its thin black neck emerging triumphant from the white foam, clutching its wriggling silver prize in its beak. Although the sun was shining, the fresh breeze carried flecks of rain, and I shivered as one splattered inside my ear. Pulling my coat around me, I left the roar of the weir and rumble of traffic from the bridge behind me and headed down to the riverfront. I’d intended to sit on one of the benches but they were all taken, so I walked slowly along the front instead, enjoying the fresh air and smell of the water. The trees were all in blossom and pink petals fluttered to the floor with each gust of wind. One of the big white show boats was docked next to the wooden jetty, waiting to take people on a sightseeing cruise upstream. Shielding my eyes from the sun, I watched a young couple take a seat together on the top deck, remembering when Anthony and I had done the same thing in happier times. We’d been more interested in kissing than watching the view slide past, but it had been a lovely day, warm for March. I remembered the sun sparkling on the water in the same way I’d seen a thousand times before, but because I was with Anthony it seemed magical somehow.
The couple on the top deck were kissing now, oblivious to me watching below. With a silent wish that their relationship would last longer than mine and Anthony’s, I walked on towards the bandstand.
Further on, a toddler girl and her grandfather were throwing bread for a family of swans while seagulls wheeled above, their shrill cries slicing the air. The girl looked so adorable in her bright-red coat and red wellingtons that I couldn’t help but smile. Her dark hair was tied up in stubby pigtails and she kept shouting at the gulls and waving her little arms around while her grandfather knelt beside her, laughing. I looked around to see if anyone else was watching them and my heart lurched as I spotted Anthony sitting on a bench a few rows back.
He hadn’t seen me yet. He was hunched over with his elbows on his knees, staring at the space between his feet. I hesitated, suddenly terrified and unsure whether to pretend not to have seen him and walk on. After all, he’d just been introduced to my pretend fiancé. I wasn’t sure I was ready to talk to him