Nodding again, he flashed the briefest of smiles. ‘Well, must dash. It’s good to see you.’
And then he was gone, striding purposefully away through the crowded marquee. I stared after his retreating figure in heart-pounding disbelief.
‘How do you know him then?’ the sales assistant asked as she continued to fuss about with the back of the dress. ‘He owns the hall, doesn’t he? Very handsome man. Some of the girls were talking about him earlier. And his brother too. Nice-looking family. Great genes, obviously.’
I couldn’t form the words to answer her question. Luckily, she was distracted by someone else asking to try on a bridal gown. I looked at Elena. She was staring at me in wide-eyed horror. ‘Are you okay?’ she murmured, stepping closer and taking my hand. ‘You’ve gone really pale.’
‘Errm, I err…’ I shook my head, unable to find any words. I was lightheaded and trembling all over.
‘Shall we take this dress off now, my lovely?’ said the sales assistant, steering me back towards the dressing room and starting to unbutton the back of the dress. ‘Oooh, are you cold? You’ve got goose bumps all over! If you give me a minute, I’ll get you the details for the bridesmaid dress in this style. You’ll have to order it online, but at least you’ll know the size now you’ve tried this one on. Here, step out and I’ll leave you to get dressed.’
‘Thank you.’
She left me alone and I stood with my eyes closed, sucking in deep lungfuls of air and trying to calm my racing heart. I felt panicky and there was a deep ache in the pit of my stomach that seemed to be anger, despair and longing all rolled into one. Because no matter how many times I told people I was over him, that I hated him and never wanted to see him again as long as I lived, I knew none of that was true. I was a long way from getting over Anthony Bascombe, and his sudden appearance just now had proved that beyond a doubt.
What did I do now? Just leave? Just walk away like it had never happened? I wasn’t sure I could do that. I needed to see him again. I needed to talk to him. I needed to know why he’d finished with me so abruptly.
Dressing quickly, I took a moment to steady my breathing before going back out to Elena. She was chewing her fingernail and looking worried. ‘Do you want to go?’ she said, her dark eyes wide with concern. ‘We can go. I don’t mind.’
I shook my head. ‘No. I’m fine.’
‘Are you sure?’ She raised her left eyebrow sceptically. ‘The lady’s given me the details for the bridesmaid dress so there’s nothing we really need to do now. We can go.’
Taking a deep breath in, I shook my head again. ‘No, it’s okay. I’ve seen him now. It’s done.’
‘Well, I doubt we’ll see him again, anyway.’ Elena tucked her arm through mine. ‘He practically ran away.’
I forced a smile and looked over at the flower stall. ‘Let’s have a look at the flowers. She might have some ideas I can use in the shop.’
‘You should start exhibiting at these wedding fairs. I told you that at the last one we went to.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ We paused next to the flower stall, but I was more interested in scanning the crowd for signs of Anthony than taking much notice of the flower designs.
‘You could send Bobbi if you didn’t want to do them yourself,’ Elena added, mistaking my distraction for disinterest.
I laughed. ‘Maybe. Shall we go and sit down outside and have something to eat? I think they’re serving food from the back of the house.’ I led the way back out of the marquee. Small round tables had been placed on the lawn so guests could eat. I found one that was empty and sat down. Elena glanced around before taking the seat opposite me.
‘I can’t believe he was here!’ she hissed. ‘After everything we were saying in the car.’
‘I know.’ I opened my eyes wide and inhaled deeply. All around us, people chatted and laughed while sipping champagne, completely unaware that my life had just been thrown into turmoil. I was so stunned and confused, my head was spinning. But really, I had no right to be feeling this shocked. There was always a chance he’d be here. This was his family home, after all.
And maybe, just maybe, part of me had hoped he would be.
I’d often wondered how I would react if I saw him again. How many nights had I lain awake, missing him and wondering where he was and who he was with? Even while I was furious with him, I missed him. I cried myself to sleep, night after night, thinking about him and longing for him to come back to me. As weeks turned into months and it became clear he wasn’t going to change his mind and come back, I’d tied to convince myself that, even if he did, I wouldn’t want him. That my feelings had changed and I wouldn’t feel the same way about him. Too much time had passed and he’d hurt me so much I was bound to feel differently. The connection would be severed and there would be no attraction. It would be like looking at a stranger, and his blue eyes would no longer have any hold over me.
But it hadn’t been like looking into the eyes of a stranger. I’d felt exactly the same way as I had twelve months ago. It was so strange to feel that same connection. How could I still be in love with him after all this time? What kind of masochist was I?
Of course, he was still as handsome as ever. The high cheekbones and square jaw. The sparkling blue eyes and neatly cropped fair hair. But it wasn’t just about his looks. It was more than that. If it had been only that, his brother would have had the same effect on me – they looked so alike. As soon as I saw him, the good memories had come flooding back, overpowering the words in his letter.
They were serving afternoon tea from the terrace at the back of the house. Elena went up to join the queue while I stayed at the table, trying to regain some control over my emotions. I wasn’t even hungry. My stomach had lurched so violently when I’d seen Anthony that it felt sore and bruised.
‘Rachel? Is that really you?’ Julian, Anthony’s brother, appeared next to our table, looking down at me in disbelief. ‘How wonderful to see you again. I just saw Anthony and he said he’d just seen you, and I had to come and find you and say hello. How are you?’
‘I’m fine. Thank you, Julian. How are you?’ Standing up, I kissed him on both cheeks. His broad, happy grin was so infectious that I found myself smiling back at him. He looked so happy to see me that I felt truly touched. He was such a lovely man.
‘Very well, thank you! Wow! This is wonderful! And you’re getting married, I believe? Congratulations! Do you have a date set yet?’
Blinking rapidly, I opened my mouth to tell him I wasn’t getting married, just trying out the style of dress, but at that moment Elena arrived back at the table, abandoning her place in the queue.
‘You haven’t set a date yet, have you, Rachel? Hi, I’m Elena by the way.’ She reached out to shake Julian’s hand. ‘I’m getting married at the end of August, though.’
‘This coming August?’ Julian’s eyes lit up.
‘Yes.’
‘Do you have everything booked already?’
‘Yes, pretty much. All sorted really.’
‘Oh, lovely. Whereabouts are you getting married? Forgive me if that seems like a nosy question.’ He pressed the palm of his hand to his chest, looking embarrassed. ‘It’s just that this is our first foray into being a wedding venue, and I’m interested in hearing why people choose the places they do.’
‘Oh, well, it came down to cost in the end. We’ve been renovating a house so most of our money has gone on that. It made sense to get married at the local golf club to keep costs down.’
‘Oh, okay. Fair enough. What about you, Rachel? What will you be looking for when you choose your wedding venue?’
My mouth dropped open. ‘Oh, I don’t know