John Naish

Put What Where?: Over 2,000 Years of Bizarre Sex Advice


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       A woman who has nobody to look after her, or keep her in check

       A woman who has not had any children

       A woman whose family or caste is not well known

       A woman whose children are dead

       A woman who is very fond of society

       A woman who is apparently very affectionate with her husband

       The wife of an actor

       A widow

       A poor woman

       A woman who likes fun

       The wife of a man with many younger brothers

       A vain woman

       A woman whose husband is inferior to her in rank or abilities

       One who is proud of her skill in the arts

       A woman mentally disturbed by her husband’s stupidity

       A woman who has been married in her infancy to a rich man, and not liking him when she grows up, desires a man possessing a disposition, talents, and wisdom suitable to her own tastes

       A woman who is slighted by her husband without any cause

       A woman who is not respected by other women of the same rank or beauty as herself

       A woman whose husband is devoted to travelling

       The wife of a jeweller

       A jealous woman

       A covetous woman

       An immoral woman

       A barren woman

       A lazy woman

       A cowardly woman

       A humpbacked woman

       A dwarfish woman

       A deformed woman

       A vulgar woman

       An ill-smelling woman

       A sick woman

       An old woman

      Women only want one thing

      Perfumed Garden of Sheik Nefzaoui (16th century), translated into English by Sir Richard F. Burton

      The woman loves the man only for the sake of coition. His member should, therefore, be of ample dimensions and length. Such a man ought to be broad in the chest, and heavy in the crupper; he should know how to regulate his emission, and be ready as to erection; his member should reach to the end of the canal of the female, and completely fill the same in all its parts. Such a one will be well beloved by women.

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