Holy crap, I thought in a sudden wash of understanding and panic. She was coming on to me. That’s what was going on. How blind could I be?
My jaw clenched as my mind raced to find a way out of this. I was straight. Never a thought contrary to that. I liked my men taller than me and not so strong that I couldn’t pin them to the floor in a surge of passion if I wanted. “Um, Ivy …” I started.
“I was born a vampire,” Ivy stated softly.
Her gray voice ran down my spine, shutting off my throat. Breath held, I met the black of her eyes. I didn’t say anything, afraid it might trigger her into movement, and I desperately didn’t want her to move. Something had shifted, and I wasn’t sure what was going on anymore.
“Both of my parents are vampires,” she said, and though she didn’t move, I felt the tension in the room swell until I couldn’t hear the crickets. “I was conceived and born before my mother became a true undead. Do you know what that means—Rachel?” Her words were slow and precise, falling from her lips with the soft permanence of whispered psalms.
“No,” I said, hardly breathing.
Ivy tilted her head so her hair made an obsidian wave that glistened in the low light. She watched me from around it. “The virus didn’t have to wait until I was dead before shaping me,” she said. “It molded me as I grew in my mother’s womb, giving me a little of both worlds, the living and the dead.”
Her lips parted, and I shuddered at the sight of her sharp teeth. I hadn’t meant to. Sweat broke out on the small of my back, and as if in response, Ivy took a breath and held it. “It’s easy for me to pull an aura,” she said as she exhaled. “Actually, the trick is to keep it suppressed.”
She uncurled from her chair, and my breath hissed in through my nose. Ivy jerked at the sound. Slow and methodical, she put her boots on the floor. “And although my reflexes and strength aren’t as good as a true undead, they’re better than yours,” she said.
I knew all of this, and the question of why she was telling me increased my fear tenfold. Struggling not to show my alarm, I refused to shrink backward as she put her palms flat on the table to either side of her cross and leaned forward.
“What’s more, I’m guaranteed to become an undead, even if I die alone in a field with every last drop of blood inside me. No worries, Rachel. I’m eternal already. Death will only make me stronger.”
My heart pounded. I couldn’t look away from her eyes. Damn. This was more than I wanted to know.
“And you know the best part?” she asked.
I shook my head, afraid my voice would crack. I was walking a knife edge, wanting to know what kind of a world she lived in but fighting to keep from entering it.
Her eyes grew fervent. Torso unmoving, she levered one of her knees up onto the coffee table, and then the other. God help me. She was coming at me.
“Living vamps can bespell people—if they want to be,” she whispered. The softness of her voice rubbed against my skin until it tingled. Double damn.
“What good is it if it only works on those who let you?” I asked, my voice harsh next to the liquid essence of hers.
Ivy’s lips parted to show the tips of her teeth. I couldn’t look away. “It makes for great sex—Rachel.”
“Oh.” The faint utterance was all I could manage. Her eyes were lost in lust.
“And I’ve got my mother’s taste for blood,” she said, kneeling on the table between us. “It’s like some people’s craving for sugar. It’s not a good comparison but it’s the best I can do unless you … try it.”
Ivy exhaled, moving her entire body. Her breath sent a shock reverberating through me. My eyes went wide in surprise and bewilderment as I recognized it as desire. What the hell was going on? I was straight. Why did I suddenly want to know how soft her hair was?
All I’d have to do was reach out. She was inches from me. Poised. Waiting. In the silence, I could hear my heart pound. The sound of it echoed in my ears. I watched in horror as Ivy broke her gaze from mine, running it down my throat to where I knew my pulse throbbed.
“No!” I cried, panicking.
I kicked out, gasping in fear as I found her weight on me, pinning me to the chair.
“Ivy, no!” I shrieked. I had to get her off. I struggled to move. I took a lungful of air, hearing it explode from me in a cry of helplessness. How could I have been so stupid! She was a vampire!
“Rachel—stop.”
Her voice was calm and smooth. Her one hand gripped my hair, pinning my head back to expose my neck. It hurt, and I heard myself whimper.
“You’re making things worse,” she said, and I wiggled, gasping as her grip on my wrist tightened until it hurt.
“Let me go. …” I panted, breathless, as if I had been running. “God, help me, Ivy. Let me go. Please. I don’t want this.” I was pleading. I couldn’t help it. I was terrified. I’d seen the pictures. It hurt. God, it was going to hurt.
“Stop,” she said again. Her voice was strained. “Rachel. I’m trying to let go of you, but you have to stop. You’re making things worse. You have to believe me.”
I took a gasping breath and held it. I flicked my gaze at what I could see of her. Her mouth was inches from my ear. Her eyes were black, the hunger in them a frightening contrast to the calm sound of her voice. Her gaze was fixed to my neck. A drop of saliva dropped warm onto my skin. “God, no,” I whispered, shuddering.
Ivy quivered, her body trembling where it touched mine. “Rachel. Stop,” she said again, and terror swept me at the new edge of panic in it. My breath came in a ragged pant. She really was trying to get off me. And by the sound of it, she was losing the battle.
“What do I do?” I whispered.
“Close your eyes,” she said. “I need your help. I didn’t know it was going to be this hard.”
My mouth went dry at the little-lost-girl sound of her voice. It took all my will to close my eyes.
“Don’t move.”
Her voice was gray silk. Tension slammed through me. Nausea gripped my stomach. I could feel my pulse pushing against my skin. For what felt like a full minute I lay under her, all my instincts crying out to flee. The crickets chirped, and I felt tears slip from under my fluttering eyelids as her breath came and went on my exposed neck.
I cried out when her grip on my hair loosened. My breath came in a ragged gasp as her weight lifted from me. I couldn’t smell her anymore. I froze, unmoving. “Can I open my eyes?” I whispered.
There was no answer.
I sat up to find myself alone. There was the faintest sound of the sanctuary door closing and the fast cadence of her boots on the sidewalk, then nothing. Numb and shaken, I reached up to first wipe my eyes and then my neck, smearing her saliva into a cold spot. My eyes rove over the room, finding no warmth in the soft gray. She was gone.
Drained, I stood up, not knowing what to do. I clutched my arms about myself so tight it hurt. My thoughts went back to the terror, and before that, the flash of desire that had washed through me, potent and heady. She had said she could only bespell the willing. Had she lied to me, or had I really wanted her to pin me to the chair and rip open my throat?
The sun was no longer slanting into the kitchen, but it was still warm. Not warm enough to reach the core of my soul, but nice. I was alive. I had all my body parts and fluids intact. It was a good afternoon.
I was sitting at the uncluttered