only to fill stomachs, and from a grief then to drink. – it having made a pause, told. – The Russian drunk, you will also not tell in any way any more. Here I spoke somehow with one such drunk. So he told me that he will be happy for hundred grams. Here also the authorities use it. Spivat the Russian people and why? Not to feed him. And who after that from us the monster!? Only those who under a roof of the power, and we are people study, are forced to earn at first money, and then to arrive if take. So it is only possible to study having earned money and if to earn them that you will never be taught. It is simply impossible. – she heaved a deep sigh. – It is impossible physically.
Listening the female-taksistka Emmanuel understood that before her the woman who in the young years already passed through HELL sits. She saw on the century both black and white. The story which she told Emmanuel obviously happened to her best friend. And here she, is forced to earn money too at last to be taught, and to gain that diploma with honors of MGIMO which will tell it and all remained its zavidnik: "HERE I! Admire me! Here I am what. And at you such is?". Yes, for certain so it also is. Emmanuel was simply confident in it. She with care took an interest:
– Did you tell this story because you study or because at you in soul all this became painful, and now all this wants to be splashed out outside? And can because you want to tell me something?
– What? – the female-taksistka did not understand. – about what it you?
– So, about anything. – Emmanuel having made a pause, asked. – What is your name?
– Luda.
– And me Emmanuel. – then she told. – You know Luda, I, of course, have no idea of this country. But I will tell you as on spirit, concerning the doctrine you are mistaken. – it having made a pause, continued. – I, of course, do not know all situation in this country. Can you are right. Corruption both was, and remained. It in all countries, turn to me on a word. But as for a tuition fee, here a standard. – it having made a pause, told. – I studied hardly too. – then she added, kind of to a consolation. – There, abroad, happens so that pay firms where we work for us. – it having made a heavy pause, heaved a deep sigh. – Unfortunately in Russia there is no it yet.
– From where do you know it? – Luda was surprised. – I did not tell it to you.
– I understood it from a conversation with you.
Luda thought. She looked at Emmanuel trying to understand who such this woman actually and why it arrived to Russia?
Luda asked:
– And who you are by profession?
– It is important for you?
– I do not want that what that there the woman wiped to me brains.
Emmanuel took an interest:
– What means wiped?
Luda as could explained this word:
– It means got into brains that to put them into place. – and then told. – with my brains at me everything is all right, and flattery in them I will allow nobody any more.
Having heard these words, and its reaction to them, Emmanuel pricked up the ears. She assumed that this woman, this woman Luda is not quite healthy. It obviously had problems, and one of them its unstable mentality. Yes, it is quite possible. In this country according to the story by Luda there can live only rich men. And this her statement on the fact that beggars have to die, and then her explanation. She wanted to present differently the judgment of poor and rich people, and she quite managed it. But now? It put a certain protection представляющею itself only the parody to its idea of life in Russia. She was not quite healthy, and was not sick. It had only a depression, the neurosis acquired in her life. Neurosis which was suffered by many people and continue to suffer. Neurosis – a way of life of the person. At one it is less noticeable, others have more. In any case one is clear. Neurosis does not respond to treatment. Only self-checking of the person over by itself. Only this way it is possible to cure it. Not to cure but only to cure. It, as well as many other diseases, are not subject to treatment. They are only muffled, but not treated. It is the life fact, and not to disappear from it.
Emmanuel told:
– I have a specialization in the field of psychology.
– You that? Brain is right?
– Absolutely.
– Then that?
– I am a psychotherapist.
– You? – Luda was surprised. – Psychotherapist?
– Yes. – confirmed Emmanuel. – I am a psychotherapist.
– Anything to? For the first time I see the psychotherapist. – Luda having made a puzzled pause, continued. – I communicate mainly with future lawyers and judges.
– Do you study on legal?
– On it. – unclear expression of the person can be requalified somehow, but not in its true value. Therefore Luda explained. – At law department of MGIMO. – then she took an interest. – And you what was finished?
Emmanuel did not know that to answer this question, she would never tell the truth, and in this case it would reveal. Why it graduated from intelligence school if it … well you understand.
Emmanuel told:
– Oxford.
Luda heaved a deep sigh. She dreamed though sometime to leave from this country to the country of free democracy where she could work and live. To live as she wants that.
– You know. – she told. – I probably when I gain the diploma will go to states. – it having made a pause, also told. – I never was free and happy. So let though there I will find that happiness of which I dream and each little girl.
Emmanuel having attentively listened to Luda, asked:
– And in what it is happiness?
– For me happiness it to become the lawyer. To know all laws that to you nobody pointed a finger, and said: "it goes, the ignoramus". – it having made a pause, having shown, it vyrugnutsya. Swine. Cost nothing, and something want. To humiliate the person, to tell him that he is a worthless degenerate, rabble society. – it having made a pause, continued. – And what we are such? – on her eyes tears appeared. – No, they to be mistaken. We are not such. – it having made a pause – exclaimed with all the might. – SWINE! – and having struck with hands a car wheel, I exclaimed obvious despair and with irritation. – I HATE! For what to me all this? For what?
Seeing that Luda fell into a hysterics, and it if has no nervous breakdown, then just about it will occur, Emmanuel hurried to tell:
– In France and in America people do not pay attention to these rumors. – it having made a pause, added. – They are not even there. – then she told. – I understand that you speak about yourself now. You that woman whom excuse for expression kicked up and down. – it having made a pause, assumed. – The difficult childhood was possible at you. – it having made a pause, told. – I at had not such childhood joyful as it was possible to imagine. Turn, I know about what I speak.
Luda having looked at Emmanuel, told:
– All of us – women, life have not a sugar. We never unlike men will reach those heights in the company of what they reached. And though we also try to resemble them, we will not be same as they.
Emmanuel was surprised to Luda's words. She with surprise asked:
– Why you so think? – Emmanuel having made a pause, objected. – We it is better than them – then it with feeling deep contempt, added. – these men. Will get a false idea of themselves god knows that, and then go as if roosters and that? Consider themselves best of all. Such roosters, having lifted up the head up go, notice nothing before themselves.
– You truly speak – Emmanuel. Men us do not cost women. They even cannot hold a candle to us. – she wiped tears,