Igor Yevtishenkov

Collection of Stories


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save it and this is now the second leg I’ve lost. Fortunately, the university carried the payment over until next month, but I’m now stuck in hospital without any means of making money for a long time. I can’t move, I can’t pay, it’s a “catch-22” situation.

      Dear son,

      You won’t believe it, but I tried to see you in the hospital, because your mother and I thought you were too timid to tell us the truth about your health. As you know we are barely scraping by on our low income and are not raking in huge profits from my business. I didn’t manage to talk to your doctor, unfortunately, but I was lucky to meet a pretty nurse you had been out with the previous day. I have to admit she is worth losing not only another leg but your mind for too. As this is the third leg you have lost according to your letters, I’m sure you ought to be used to this by now. If my memory serves me correctly, you lost the first one in a terrible accident when a tram ran you over and cut it off. The second one was bitten by a horse near the betting shop window, when you were staking your last penny on a horse at the hippodrome. Now, luckily, the third one has grown back but, tough luck, it’s paralyzed. So try to hobble along on any other one you may have left. When your mother and I met, we started renting a part of a house and had to solely rely on our existing hands and legs.

      * MONEY GOES TO MONEY

      Bill has finished a brokerage course at a bank and decided to make his first investment as an independent broker. He was assisted by a friend who has worked in the other bank for ten years and was said to be an experienced broker. One day he called Bill and said that his boss, a senior broker who was considered almost a god in NYSE, invited them to invest in shale gas development. At that time there was a boom in the industry. The senior broker hinted that he had been advised to do that by his friends from Federal Reserve Bank. “We’ll get on to the gravy train”, he promised. It was the kind of proposal, which Bill could not turn down. He shared this information with his wife Julie who reminded him that money didn’t grow on trees. A month later Bill’s investment paid off and even the chairman praised him. The friends were on cloud nine. But another month passed, gas prices suddenly fell and the development of shale gas was halted across the country. Bill, his friend and the senior manager of the bank lost all they had earned and invested in this operation. Only the chairman, who had real friends in FRB and never told anyone about them, had made a stake on copper and put all his money in it just a few days before the gas prices dropped. So now he was rubbing his hands and kept muttering under his breath: money goes to money.

      * UNPLEASANT SITUATION

      “Excuse me, could you tell me where I could take money out, please?”

      “No problem! It’s just around the corner. Go down the street till the traffic lights and turn left. The ATM is over there. But there is a limit as far as I know. You are not allowed to withdraw more than 300 pounds a day.”

      “Thanks a lot! It’s surprising but there is not much choice, I’m afraid.”

      Good luck, guys! See ya!”

      “Thanks a lot!.. (a few minutes later) Look, the ATM is out of order. We shall have to cut back our expenditure on entertainment.”

      “Stop it! You sound like Prime Minister. Call Jill, she might lend us a hundred for tonight and we’ll pay her back tomorrow.”

      “Highly unlikely. She paid our bill yesterday. It came to one hundred dollars and we still owe her our share.”

      “What a bummer! You are right.”

      * PAYING BILLS AND DEBTS

      “What are you going to do after school? Going to university or taking a year off?”

      “The former, I hope. I’m going to work and pay the bills. My parents will be paying off the mortgage on our flat for another ten years. So I’ll have no support from them.”

      “I see. Mine have no mortgage but I’ll have to earn some money too. I don’t want to take a year off either. How much do you need to pay?”

      “Last week I got the first term bill. It’s six hundred and I’ll have to pay up by the end of the month. I have to cut down some expenses. Last month I ran up my telephone and Internet bills for a hundred bucks. Games, streaming video, sharing files on social media, listening to music, online games, you know… So stupid of me! I’ve just found a job in a mall but I’ll only get paid next week.”

      “I see. Mate, I’ve saved two grand. My payment is due on November 30, I could lend you a few hundred for a week or two.”

      “Really?! Oh, great! Thanks, man! I’ll settle up with you when I get paid.”

      “It’s OK. We’re brother-in-arms. Don’t worry, take your time.”

      * HIGHER EDUCATION

      “I heard that higher education in Germany was free. Is this true?”

      “Yes, it is. But it’s a little bit tricky. You have to speak German to enter a university.”

      “It’s quite fair. My parents studied free of charge but now things have changed completely. We have to pay it annually.”

      “So do we. My parents and I started saving up already. We try to set aside a fixed amount each month so that we have enough by next year.”

      “I see. I bought so many expensive gadgets last year. I tried hard to sell them this summer to add some funds to my account but to no avail. It looks like I have to just write the money off.”

      “I agree. It’s not worth trying, I’ve got the same problem. The gadgets are not worth a dime, believe me.” “You won’t get this money back. I’m ashamed to tell you but my parents and I are now looking for sales and discounts everywhere and yesterday they were giving away free tickets to a stand-up show and I got one. My mother was lucky to pick up a cookery book last week at a knockdown price. You can’t imagine how happy she was!”

      “I can. I always feel the same when I snap up a bargain.”

      * A KNOCKDOWN PRICE

      Hi Denise,

      I’ve got great news. At last I’ve got my first pay and started setting aside some money! I hope I’ll save up enough to visit you next year. I managed to flog all my old smartphones and tablet PCs to my roommates. My parents have already said “good-bye’ to that money. They didn’t think I’d get it back one day. So they allowed me to use it the way I wished. Now I can start searching for a knockdown price for air tickets on the Internet. It won’t cost me a fortune, I hope.

      Looking forward so much to seeing you soon,

      Patric

      * HOW TO BE SOLVENT

      Hi Jack,

      I have some financial problems at the moment. I can’t understand how I have been tangled up in this situation. I owe my landlady a hundred dollars. I have to pay up before the end of the month. What’s worse, I’ve run up many