Things No One Else Can Teach Us. Humble Poet the

story, but with her, there may never be an end. As I got more popular, ironically, I became more of a global citizen than she did, and our paths crossed a few times. We agreed to keep each other company in Bali, I crashed on her couch in Birmingham, she brought friends to watch my show in Dubai; and when I was living in Los Angeles and becoming more of a mainstream character in the world of entertainment, she called me to say, “What the fuck are you doing? You’re above this, your purpose is more important than being famous.”

      She was still loving me from afar.

      Years after this love story ran its course,[2] the lesson that the world doesn’t stop because of our tragedies has saved me. This painful experience showed me that I’m much tougher than I thought and that I should give myself more credit than I do. I have a feeling that applies to you as well.

      We can survive a lot. Surviving things in the short term may be very unpleasant, but in the long term, we will gain in character, strength, and wisdom. I’ve kept that message with me as I face new challenges in life, knowing that no matter what happens, I’ll be able to claw myself out of the holes and come out stronger.

      Fear keeps us in line, and the moment we realize how much we’re capable of enduring, the fences that hold us back start to disintegrate.

      The freedom that comes with moving despite the fear is a liberation we would all benefit from.

      I’m grateful she and I are on healthy-ish terms; it couldn’t have been easy for her to end things when she did, and how she did, and it must have been just as difficult for her to try to come back.

      Let’s stop avoiding painful situations, because that’s where all the growth lives.

      After our relationship had faded, and much to the chagrin of her new beaus, she still talked about me and shared my work with people in her life. Girls in my life told me that I was still in love with her, and I laughed and simply said, “It doesn’t matter if I am; love isn’t enough to put up with her shit.” Sometimes it’s best to love someone from afar.

      Her last message to me was, “Let’s revisit this when you’re seventy and no other girl wants you.” Look out for us—one day we’ll be a rebellious cute old couple sitting at the park, up to no good.

      

      Sewa (n.): Sikh term for service.

      Dharmendra is one of the biggest names and most recognizable faces in Bollywood history, and he’s Punjabi—like my family. Punjabis make up less than 3 percent of India’s population, so when I had a chance encounter with Dharmendra one evening at a film festival, it was like encountering royalty and I knew I had to take a photo with him to send to my parents, who grew up watching his movies.

      I sent the picture to my mom, thinking she’d get a kick out of it. Instead, I got a call from her immediately, her voice sounding shocked and upset. “I wanted to see him in real life at that same film festival,” she told me, “but your dad didn’t want to go.”

       Score one for married life.

      I felt horrible. I hadn’t known my mom knew about the festival, let alone wanted to go, and then I’d met her hero by accident and rubbed it in her face. I felt bad and decided to be mindful of how I share memorable moments of my life without triggering whatever version of FOMO Punjabi moms have.

      When I told my father, his response was much different from my mother’s: “Wow, I’m so proud my son got to meet my hero.” He was smiling ear to ear, regaling me with stories about how he and his friends skipped school to watch Dharmendra’s movies as teenagers.