sending the car. It was very kind of you.’ Her gaze moved past him and then abruptly returned to his face. ‘So what happens next?’
It wasn’t just her voice that upped his heartbeat. Her words reverberated inside his head, pulling at a memory he had never quite forgotten.
So what happens next?
Twenty months ago she had spoken the exact same sentence to him in the street outside that restaurant, and briefly he let his mind go back to that moment. He could picture it precisely. The tremble of her lips, the way her hair had spilled over the collar of her coat, and then the moment when he had lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her.
His body tensed. It had been so effortless. So natural. She had melted into him, her candid words, warm mouth and curving limbs offering up possibilities of an intimacy without the drama he had lived with so long. But of course he’d been kidding himself. Whatever it was that had caused that flashpoint of heat and hunger and hope, it had been contingent on the preordained shortness of its existence.
With an effort he blocked out an image of her body gleaming palely against the dark, crumpled bedding…
‘We talk,’ he said simply. ‘Why don’t we go and get something to drink?’
In the kitchen, his housekeeper Francesca had left tea and coffee and some homemade biscuits on the granite-topped breakfast bar.
‘Take a seat.’ He gestured towards a leather-covered bar stool. ‘Tea or coffee? Do you have a preference?’
‘Tea. Please. And I prefer it black.’
He held out a cup and, giving him a small, stiff smile, she took it from him.
She took a sip, her mouth parting, and he felt his body twitch in response. It felt strange—absurdly, frustratingly strange—to be handing her a cup of tea when part of him could still remember pulling her into his arms. And another part was hungry still to pull her into his arms again.
He cleared his throat. ‘So, shall we get on with it?’
He heard the shift in her breathing.
‘I accept that Sóley is my daughter, but obviously that isn’t going to satisfy my lawyers, so I’m afraid I need to establish paternity. It’s quite simple—just a sample from me and you and Sóley.’
There was a short silence, and then she nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘Good.’ His gaze held hers. ‘Long-term I’ll be looking at establishing custody rights, but initially I just want to spend a bit of time with my daughter.’ And provide a structure and a stability that he instinctively knew must be lacking in her life.
‘Meaning what, exactly?’
The flicker in her gaze held the same message as the rigidity in her jaw but he ignored both.
‘Since everything took off with the app I’ve tried to take a couple of weeks off a year—three at most—just to recharge my batteries.’
‘And…?’ Her eyes were fixed on his face.
‘And now seems like a good time for that to happen. Obviously it’s just a short-term fix, but it would give me a chance to get to know Sóley and find out what’s in her best interests.’
Her expression stiffened. ‘I think I know what’s in her best interests.’
‘Of course. But circumstances have changed.’ He waited a beat. ‘This is just a first step. I understand that there’s going to be a lot to work through, and naturally any future arrangements will take into account Sóley’s needs—her wellbeing comes first.’
Lottie stared at him in silence. ‘In that case, it’s probably easier if you come to me,’ she said finally. ‘Coming here is quite a long way for a day trip.’
He frowned. ‘I wasn’t expecting you to come here, and I wasn’t talking about a day trip.’
‘I don’t understand…’ she said slowly.
‘Then let me explain. The whole point of these weeks is to give me time to think, to unplug myself. That’s why I go back to Iceland. It’s a less hectic, more sedate way of life, and it’s easier to take a step back there. I’d like Sóley to go with me.’
Her eyes slipped across his face, once then twice, as though searching for something. ‘You’re joking, right?’
‘About getting to spend some time with my child? Hardly.’
He watched his put-down meet its target, as he’d intended it to. Colour was spreading over her cheeks.
‘She doesn’t have a passport,’ she countered tonelessly.
‘But she has a birth certificate.’
Her single, reluctant nod looked almost painful.
‘Then it won’t be a problem. I have people who can expedite the paperwork.’
Her face seemed to crack apart. ‘No, this is not happening. She doesn’t know you—and she’s never been anywhere without me.’
He could hear the tension in her voice and unaccountably felt himself respond to it. How could he not? She was scared. Of him. Not physically, but of his claim, both moral and legal, on their daughter, and he couldn’t help but understand and empathise with her. She had carried Sóley for nine months and cared for her on her own for another eleven. Now he was here in her life and everything was going to change.
His back stiffened. He knew exactly how that felt—the dread, then the confusion and the compromises—and for a few half-seconds he was on the verge of reaching out to comfort her. But—
But it was best not to confuse what was actually happening here. Lottie would adapt, and what mattered was agreeing the best possible outcome for Sóley.
‘Clearly I was expecting you to join us.’ He spoke patiently, as though to a confused child, but instead of calming her his words had the opposite effect.
‘Me? Go away with you?’ She shook her head. ‘No, that isn’t going to happen.’
‘Why not? I spoke to the woman at the gallery and you have no upcoming exhibitions.’
‘You spoke to Georgina?’ The tightness in her face broke into a spasm of outrage. ‘How dare you? How dare you talk to people behind my back?’
The note of hysteria in her voice made his shoulders pinch together. ‘You’re being ridiculous.’
‘And you’re being overbearing,’ she snapped. ‘You can’t just expect me to drop everything.’
‘Oh, but I can—and I do. And if you won’t then I will have to apply a little pressure.’
‘And do what, Ragnar?’ She pushed up from the bar stool, her hands curling into fists, two thumbprints of colour burning in her cheeks. ‘Are you going to send round your head of security? Or maybe you could kidnap us?’
How had this spiralled out of control so quickly?
He felt a familiar mix of frustration and fatigue.
‘This is getting us nowhere—and in case you’ve forgotten, you got in touch with me.’
He stared at her in exasperation and then wished he hadn’t. Her hair was coming loose and he had to resist the urge to pull it with his fingers and watch it tumble free.
He waited a moment, and then tried again. ‘Look, Lottie. You go where Sóley goes. That’s a given. And by pressure I just mean lawyers. But I don’t want to escalate this. I just want to do what’s best for our daughter. I think you do too, and that’s why you came to find me the other day.’
There was a small beat of silence.
‘I do want what’s best for her, but…’ She hesitated. ‘But going away with you…