and his chest was fuller, yet his stomach was just as flat, his waist as trim. If his muscular body was anything to go by, whatever he’d been doing had been physical. His brown skin glowed with good health and his eyes were clear and sharp as ever. From all appearances, he’d lived well this past decade.
That thought pierced her soul. He could have returned to her and had chosen not to. Instead he’d been living the good life in Texas. Not that she’d wanted him to have suffered. The thought of him in agony somewhere was more than her heart could take. But knowing that he’d left her in misery for ten long years when he hadn’t had to shred her heart. She would never forgive him.
And to think she’d dreamed of this moment for years. None of her imaginings had looked like this. And they certainly hadn’t hurt like this. Nothing could ever hurt this badly. “You need to leave. Now.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you. I hope we can become friends again.”
Friends? Not likely. She hated him. If she never saw him again, it would be too soon. As far as she was concerned he could disappear forever. He’d kept his existence a secret for years. If he wanted to keep secrets...well she could do the same. “No. We’re done.”
She heard the pounding of feet a second before she heard the voice. And then she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her secret after all.
“Mom?”
Mom? Donovan reeled at the word. Did Raven have a child? A husband? Although he’d told himself he wanted her to have moved on and made a happy life without him, the thought that she’d fallen in love with another man sucked the air from his lungs. He didn’t even try to reconcile the two opposing feelings. Emotions weren’t logical and it would be foolish to try to make sense of them.
He turned to see a boy of about eight or nine standing there looking straight at Raven. When she didn’t answer him, he directed his attention to Donovan. “Who are you?”
Donovan opened his mouth to answer but when he met the kid’s eyes he couldn’t speak. His stomach seized as if he’d been punched in the gut. The kid’s eyes were the exact shade of gray as the ones that stared at Donovan from the mirror each morning as he shaved. The same gray eyes Donovan had inherited from his father. Realization dawned fast and Donovan’s knees buckled. This boy was his son. Raven had been pregnant and he hadn’t known it. Was that what she’d planned to tell him that last day?
“Who is he, Mom?”
Donovan wanted to blurt out that he was his father but he didn’t. That would be selfish. For all Donovan knew, Raven was married and the kid might believe his stepfather was his dad. Was Raven married? Donovan looked at her left hand. No ring. Not that the absence of a wedding band meant anything. She could have taken it off to do work around the ranch. Or maybe she’d simply forgotten to put it on this morning. There were any number of reasons to explain why Raven wasn’t wearing a ring.
Raven glanced at Donovan before smiling at the boy. “This is Donovan Cordero. He’s Mr. and Mrs. Cordero’s son and a friend of mine.”
“Mr. and Mrs. Cordero are nice.” His eyes lit up and he took a step closer to Donovan. “Are you the guy who disappeared?”
Donovan managed a nod.
“Wow. Where were you? Why didn’t you come home?”
“Elias. Enough with the questions. What did you want with me?”
Elias grinned and a dimple flashed in his left cheek. Donovan also had a dimple in his left cheek. It was like seeing himself at nine years old. “I wanted to tell you there’s going to be a carnival in Sweet Briar this weekend and ask if you want to go with me.”
Raven smiled. “If I want to go with you? That’s a pretty sneaky question since I don’t remember saying you could go.”
“Oh, Mom. All the kids are going. Please.”
“I’ll decide after I see the grade on your math test.”
“Mom.”
Raven cut off Elias mid-grumble. “I need to talk to Donovan. Go start your homework.”
“Okay.” The boy took two steps then turned back around and grinned at Donovan. “Welcome home.”
“Thanks,” Donovan said but the kid had already sprinted from the room.
Neither Raven nor Donovan spoke for a minute. Donovan was in a state of shock and incapable of forming a coherent sentence. The world had completely tilted and he was struggling to get it back on its axis. Adding the new revelation to the emotional upheaval of the past five days had left him emotionally wrung out. He tried to grab hold of his rapidly shifting emotions but couldn’t get a handle on even one of them. Two thoughts kept circling his mind. I have a son. And he doesn’t know who I am.
He blew out a breath and then looked at Raven. Though she’d managed to hold it together while Elias was in the room, she was trembling again. She looked as weak as he felt.
He reached out a hand to her. “Raven.”
Her eyes filled with tears as she met his gaze. “What?”
“He’s mine, isn’t he? Elias is my son.” Although he’d known the second he’d seen the child, he needed to hear her say it.
“Yes.” That softly spoken word changed his entire life. He was a father.
He smiled. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For having my son. You didn’t have to. I know it couldn’t have been easy for you.”
Surprise had her deep brown eyes widening. “You’re not upset?”
“Upset? No. Why would I be?”
“Because.” She gave a nervous laugh. “I don’t know. Back then I was so afraid you’d be angry at me for getting pregnant. I worried you might think I was trying to trap you. I guess that feeling popped up now because... I don’t know.”
Donovan was angry. But not at Raven. She’d given him a son. He was angry at Karl Rivers. Because of him Donovan had been a father for nine years and not known it. He’d missed watching Raven grow bigger as their child grew within her and then holding her hand as she’d given birth to their son. He’d missed every day of his son’s life. All because of Karl Rivers.
Anger at the man consumed Donovan and nearly bubbled over. He suppressed it. He couldn’t let his fury show. If he did, Raven would believe he was angry at her.
“Are you married?”
“What?”
“Are you married? Do you have a husband? Other kids?”
Raven took two steps and got in his face. Her eyes flashed with fury although he couldn’t imagine why she was angry. It was a logical question. “You have your nerve. You vanish, leaving me pregnant and alone and out of my mind worrying about what could be happening to you. And you were fine. You could have come home anytime. You could have called to let me know you were alive and well. But you didn’t care enough about what I was going through to do that. So you don’t get to know about my life. It’s none of your business.”
“It is, too, my business. Elias is my son. If some other man is around him, I have a right to know.”
“A right?” She sputtered and her hands fisted. He’d never known Raven to be violent but a lot could have changed in ten years. Even though he doubted her personality had changed that much, he didn’t want to test that theory, so he took a step back.
“Yes. I’m Elias’s father.” Raven sucked in a breath and Donovan spoke quickly before she could get wound up again. “I’m not saying this the right