Caroline Anderson

From Heartache To Forever


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I’ve had enough of juggling too many balls. They get dropped, and anyway, it’s nice to have time for coffee occasionally. And that’ll teach me to say the c word,’ he said, and she looked up and saw the next patient already being wheeled in.

      It set the tone of the day, one case piling on top of another, but he worked fast and thoroughly, and it was a joy to her to be working alongside him again. It gave her a chance to study him, to remember all the little things she’d forgotten, like the way he frowned when he was concentrating, the way his brow cleared the second it was all under control, the quirk of a brow, the brief nod when he was happy with something.

      ‘Right, go for lunch, both of you,’ James said, and she realised it was after two. She’d been working alongside him since before eight, and they hadn’t stopped for breath.

      ‘Sandwich and a coffee?’ she suggested, and he nodded.

      ‘That would be great. I’m starving. Breakfast was a long, long time ago.’

      But yet again it wasn’t to be. Another patient came through the doors, one of three from a nasty RTC, but Jenny, her line manager, came in and relieved her, so she went to the café and picked up lunch for both of them and he ate his in a snatched quiet moment a while later, washed down by the now tepid coffee she’d brought back for him.

      ‘I can see why I was needed,’ he said with a wry laugh.

      ‘Oh, you’re certainly needed. Still think it’s better than painting your house?’

      His chuckle was dry and a little rueful. ‘It’s certainly more mentally challenging.’

      ‘Oh, well, you’ve only got another three hours to go. What time’s your furniture being delivered?’

      ‘I said not before six, and I can’t see me getting away before then so hopefully it’ll be eight or something. Whatever. They said they’d let me know. Right, I’d better go back and reassess my patient. I’ll see you later.’

      Not much later, as it turned out.

      He was in Resus with another emergency, gloved up and trying to assess a nasty scalp wound with an arterial bleed when his phone jiggled in his pocket.

      ‘Could someone get my phone, please?’ he asked, and one of the nurses delved in his scrub top pocket and held it up to him.

      Damn. He stared at it and groaned. ‘Can someone find Beth, please, if she’s still here? I need to ask her a favour.’

      ‘I think she is,’ Jenny said. ‘Although she shouldn’t be.’

      ‘No, I know that, but I saw her walk past ten minutes ago so she might still be around.’

      The nurse who’d delved in his pocket came back with Beth a moment later, and she tipped her head on one side.

      ‘Problem?’

      ‘Just a bit. I need another favour. I’ve had a message from the delivery team. They’ve said they’ll be there at five and there’s no way I can leave before six and if it goes on like this I won’t get away then. Is there any way you could let them in?’

      ‘Sure. I should have gone off an hour ago anyway.’

      ‘I know.’ He sighed. ‘I keep asking you favours—’

      ‘Don’t be ridiculous.’ She held out her hand. ‘Key?’

      Damn. It was still where he’d put it a few hours ago.

      ‘Right trouser pocket.’

      Their eyes locked, and she looked hastily away and squirmed her hand under his plastic apron and into his pocket, groping for the keys while he tried really, really hard to keep his mind in check.

      Not to mention his body—

      ‘These them?’

      ‘No. The loose one, the one you gave me back,’ he said, and gritted his teeth again while she went back in and rummaged again, then returned the others.

      ‘Do you want me to check everything’s OK?’

      ‘No. Just let them in, sign for it as unchecked, that’s all. Well, unless it’s obviously trashed in transit.’ He gave her a rueful smile. ‘Thank you, Beth. I owe you, big-time.’

      ‘You do. Don’t worry, I’m keeping a tab.’

      He grunted, and she gave him a cheeky grin and left him to the spurting artery and his mounting guilt.

      She’d spent days helping him, and now she was heading back to his house, waiting in for the furniture. And he was clock-watching, dividing his guilt between his new job and his old friend.

      If that was what you could call her, the woman you’d had a brief affair with, who’d ended up giving birth to a baby whose heart was so compromised she’d been doomed from the moment of conception.

      There had to be a better word than ‘friend.’ It was what she’d called herself when he’d thanked her for all her help, but she was so much more than that, their relationship so complicated, and he knew they’d be bound together for ever by the heartbreaking loss of their tiny daughter.

      His chest squeezed, and he focused his attention on his patient and put Beth, their baby and his guilt out of his mind.

      It was after eight before she heard the scrunch of tyres, and she gave the bedding a last swipe with her hand to straighten it, then opened the door.

      ‘Beth, I can’t believe you’re still here!’ he said instantly, his face hugely apologetic. ‘I’m so sorry. I thought you’d be gone ages ago. Have they not come yet?’

      ‘Yes, of course they have, they came at five. I’ve just been pottering and waiting for you. Jenny rang me so I knew you’d be late.’

      ‘I didn’t. Not this late, anyway, and there was no way I could leave.’

      ‘No, I gather you had another really nasty RTC with multiple casualties. Nice, gentle introduction on your first day.’

      He snorted softly. ‘Tell me about it. At least I was working with you, which made it significantly easier. So I assume everything was OK with the furniture?’

      ‘Fine—lovely. Come and have a look.’

      She opened the bedroom door, and he stopped in his tracks.

      ‘They built the bed?’

      ‘No, I did, because I didn’t think you’d want to do it after such a hectic shift.’

      He stared at her. ‘You did it? Wow. I didn’t for a moment expect you to do that, Beth. Thank you.’

      ‘It was easy,’ she said, lying slightly because another pair of hands would have been hugely useful. ‘Eight bolts and a few screws.’ She waggled an Allen key at him. ‘They even provided the technology.’

      He gave a soft laugh, and hugged her.

      ‘Thank you so much. I really wasn’t expecting—’

      She put her hand over his mouth, cutting him off. ‘Hush. You’ve spent your life looking after people. I thought it was time someone looked after you a bit.’

      He reached up and caught her hand, pressing a kiss into her palm before threading his fingers through hers.

      ‘Thank you.’

      His eyes were filled with a host of conflicting emotions, and she guessed he was just as confused as she was. And it really didn’t help that there was a massive bed right beside them…

      She retrieved her hand gently and stepped out of reach, ignoring