that certainly can’t hurt,” Tessa agreed. “Has your mom or dad taken you to the doctor?”
Zoe nodded. “They gave me annie botics.”
“Antibiotics?”
“Yeah. Annie biotics.”
Tessa smiled. “Okay, then. I hope you start feeling better soon, kiddo.”
She took her niece’s hand again as they made their way back to the dining room. Dinner proceeded as it usually did. She, Harper and Connor talked about mutual friends in town, along with how the restaurant was doing. Her mom chimed into their conversation occasionally while Paige and her husband, Weston, discussed current events and business with their dad.
Molly and Tessa’s mom chatted about school and summer plans, but Tessa couldn’t help noticing that Zoe remained relatively quiet, only poking at her food instead of eating it. No one else seemed to pick up on Zoe’s strange mood, but then again, Tessa had always had a special bond where Zoe was concerned.
At one point during the meal, she was able to stretch her leg under the table and knock Zoe’s foot with her own. The six-year-old looked up, startled, and met Tessa’s gaze. Tessa winked, and Zoe grinned. She experienced some relief at the sight. Zoe had lost one of her baby teeth a month ago, and there was still a small hole where her adult tooth hadn’t quite filled in yet.
Tessa leaned back as she finished the last bite of her dinner, feeling full and a little sleepy after the long day. Rufus had loyally curled up next to her chair, and she reached down to pat him as a reward for his quiet behavior during the meal. As she straightened, Connor stood and cleared his throat.
Around the table, everyone’s attention shifted to him.
“I made something special for dessert since today, Grace turns three months old.”
Tessa felt a tug in her chest. Her eyes fell to Harper, who was cradling her infant daughter in her arms. A stab of jealousy struck her directly in the stomach, decimating any desire for dessert, no matter what delicious dish Connor had cooked up.
“And I just wanted to take this opportunity to say how thankful I am to be part of this family. As you know, my mom died when I was still a lad, and my father’s been gone for several years now...” Connor trailed off, his Irish accent more pronounced as his voice filled with emotion. Harper used her free hand to reach out and grab Connor’s.
“Aye, well.” He sniffed. “I am a very blessed man.” He looked down at Harper with a smile that was achingly sweet. “I have a loving, supportive wife. And I never thought I could be so lucky as to have two gorgeous daughters.” He winked at Molly before his eyes came to rest on Grace, who slept like an angel in her mother’s arms.
“So before I bring out dessert, I just wanted to offer up an Irish blessing.” He reached for his glass and raised it. The rest of the family followed suit, except for Zoe, who yawned and leaned against Tessa’s side.
“May your troubles be less,” Connor said, “and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door.”
The rest of the family voiced their agreement with these words and drank to little Grace and all the blessings of family.
And while Tessa sipped from her water glass right along with them, she couldn’t help feeling removed from her family’s joy. Because how could she share in their happiness when the one thing she’d always wanted—a biological child of her own—could never be hers?
* * *
NOAH SCANNED THE common area of the assisted care facility for his father-in-law. He found him by the window, staring out at the courtyard. Noah felt a moment of hope that his father-in-law was aware of the beauty of the day. But as he approached, his wishful thinking dissipated. There was no awareness in the other man’s eyes. Only a blank, unseeing stare.
“Hey, John,” he greeted, dropping a hand onto the other man’s shoulder and squeezing by way of greeting. “How are you today?”
John said nothing. Not that Noah had expected him to. The stroke had rendered him catatonic.
“It’s a beautiful day,” Noah said. “Why don’t we go outside?”
Since John could neither agree nor protest, Noah took hold of the wheelchair and navigated the older man into the courtyard. When they were outside, he made sure to tuck the blanket tightly around John’s hips. The spring weather was pleasant, bright with sunshine and only a very mild breeze, but Noah knew how quickly his father-in-law could become cold. He pushed him around the concrete walkway until they reached the opposite side of the courtyard, where a bench awaited. He parked John beside it and sat down.
“I see the daffodils are blooming,” he remarked. “I know those have always been some of your favorites. There are several planted along a walkway at the hospital, and whenever I see them, I think of you.” He drew a breath. “You’d love the landscaping there. In fact, you’d probably keep the staff tied up for hours, telling them facts about different flowers. I remember the first time we met, and you kept me out in your garden forever, just talking about plants. I was so petrified to be meeting Julia’s parents that I hardly said two words, and you just kept talking about soil acidity and compost techniques.” He chuckled softly at the memory.
John kept staring straight ahead, seemingly oblivious to the beauty of the day as well as Noah’s conversation. Noah sighed, humor evaporating, and leaned back on the bench.
“Speaking of the hospital—they’ve brought on some new marketing coordinator. Her name’s Tessa. She and I are supposed to work together to elevate the hospital’s reputation and my role there.” He made a face even though he knew John wouldn’t register it. “Can’t they see it for the distraction it is? My focus is patients, not publicity. That’s what they hired this Tessa woman to do. Let her worry about garnering public awareness and leave me to do my job.”
He stood and started to pace. “The first time we met, she made me spill my coffee all over myself. I had to go back home to change, so I was late getting to the hospital. And then she tried to tell me how I should talk to my patients.” He shook his head. “In any case, it’s not my job to worry about publicity. My patients need my undivided attention. All it takes is one wrong judgment call, one distraction, and it could cost a child their life.”
He stopped suddenly, the weight of these words settling around his heart, reminding him of Ginny. He sank back onto the bench. John didn’t so much as twitch, and for that, Noah was grateful. He would give anything to restore his father-in-law to awareness, but that was a selfish wish.
He envied John his ability to block out the world and the memories of all they had lost. How pleasant it would be to forget, to be blissfully ignorant of the disease and death that had stolen all that he loved most in this world. And while it might have been nice to speak with the other man once more, Noah thought it was better this way. Let John have his catatonic peace. It was the only thing left to him. At least Noah still had his battle with the disease that had taken his daughter...and, indirectly, his wife. It was a distraction, but it was rarely enough to silence the guilt and grief completely.
“It doesn’t happen often,” Noah whispered, “but sometimes, I’ll get so involved with a patient that I forget. I forget how I lost her. In some ways, I wish it happened more.” He closed his eyes, letting the sun warm his face and fighting back tears. “Is that wrong, do you think? That there are moments I just want to forget? Not forget Ginny or Julia, really, but just to have a bit of respite from the grief?”
He opened his eyes. “But I suppose it is wrong. My memories are my punishment. I don’t deserve to forget, do I? Why should I when I’m still here and they’re gone?”
He swallowed. “There are days when I hate Julia for doing what she did. And there are other days when I envy her. I wish I’d been able to find the courage to do the same thing.” He paused. “But that’s not right. I’m here because I have to make amends. I need to save the others even if I couldn’t save Ginny.”