No. I don’t know.” He kicked off his shoes and put his feet up on the ottoman. “We got a diagnosis I was hoping we wouldn’t get.”
“Oh no!” The panic in her voice was real. “Is he going to be okay? What’s wrong?”
Her concern brought him upright, and he leaned forward, waving a hand to calm her. “He’s fine, he’s going to be just fine. It’s not some horrible disease.”
“Tell me!”
“It’s autism.”
She sucked in a breath, looked up at the ceiling. He thought she was looking in the direction of Sammy’s room. Maybe even praying—she was a fairly new Christian, from what his wife had said only weeks before she’d died.
But when Arianna looked back at him, he realized her eyes were glittering with tears she was trying not to let fall.
“Hey,” he said, moved by her concern. Everyone in town liked him and Sammy just fine, but there was nobody who felt the intensity of this diagnosis like he did. Or so he’d thought. “He’ll be okay. It’s just...I have to figure out how to cope, make some new plans.”
“I’m sure.” She drew in a couple of deep breaths and looked out the window. He wondered if the view of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains would calm her, like it did him.
“He’ll be okay,” he repeated. “There’s so much help available these days.”
“You don’t sound that surprised.” She studied him, head cocked to one side, eyes confused.
“I... No.” He looked at her. “I kind of knew.”
She frowned. “I should have guessed. I’ve done art therapy with kids who had the condition a fair amount, and now that you mention it...he does seem kinda like those kids. Although he’s his own sweet, wonderful self,” she added fiercely. “If he’s going to grow up a little different from neurotypical kids, that’s okay. I’ll still love him just as much.”
“I will, too,” Jack said mildly, surprised at her vehemence. But on the few occasions she’d spent time with him and Sammy, she’d been an enthusiastic aunt. More enthusiastic about Sammy, when it came to it, than her sister, Chloe, his wife, had been. “The problem is that I have to hire a nanny, and there aren’t many candidates in Esperanza Springs.”
“I could do it,” she said.
Jack stared at her. “You?” He couldn’t keep the surprise and doubt out of his voice.
“Just until you find somebody permanent,” she amended quickly. “I mean, no way could I do that long term, of course, but I’d like to help if you’re in a spot.”
“Wow, thanks, Arianna, but...” He trailed off.
How to tell Arianna that she looked too much like her sister? That she was too disorganized? That her liveliness and fun were a direct contrast to his own staid, boring life...and that they disturbed him?
She leaned forward, one eyebrow raised, a long leg crossed over the other. “What, Jack? Go ahead, say it.”
“It’s just...I guess I was thinking of a Mary Poppins type,” he said, trying to make a joke of it. “You know, laced up and experienced and efficient.”
“Sure. You’re right, of course.” She sighed and stood up. “I’m nobody’s idea of a good employee apparently. But I’m here to help if you need me.”
He felt like a heel as he followed her to the door, unable to keep his eyes off her chaotic, shining curls. “I appreciate your coming by and bringing the gift,” he said, although truthfully, he had no idea where he’d put the giant sunflower. It didn’t exactly match the couch. “Stop back and see Sammy anytime.”
That comment made her whole form brighten, and she turned to him. “Thanks, I will. I miss seeing the little guy. I need a Sammy hug.”
It occurred to him to wonder why she needed a hug, but that wasn’t his business. He opened the door for her and held it while she walked out, the scent of musky roses tickling his nose.
Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to get involved with a woman like Arianna, colorful and warm and relaxed. But he always stifled the notion. He realized, almost instantly, that it shouldn’t and wouldn’t happen.
Love and marriage weren’t about fun; they were about sacrifice and responsibility and hard work.
And getting drawn to Arianna made his face heat and his stomach churn with guilt, because of Chloe and all her suspicions. She’d died fourteen months ago, but her angry accusations still rang in his ears.
Anyway, and fortunately, no woman like Arianna would be attracted to a methodical, scientific nerd like him.
One minute later, his business phone buzzed, and five minutes after that, he was trying to figure out how to get someone to come watch Sammy while he drove to one of the neighboring ranches to help with a cow that was suffering from a dangerous case of bloat.
He’d moved from town up to Redemption Ranch because he’d seen how happy the wide-open spaces made Sammy. Made him, too, really. The fact that he believed in the ranch’s mission as a haven for struggling veterans and senior dogs was a factor, too. Living here, he could serve as the ranch’s on-site veterinarian, which was a needed role and one he relished.
On the downside, moving up here meant he was thirty minutes away from his normal babysitters, and they had both just refused to come at this short notice. He hated to impose by asking Penny, the ranch owner, or Willie, a Vietnam veteran and permanent resident of the ranch.
You could just ask Arianna.
The thought came to him, and before he could second-guess himself, he was out the door. Arianna was walking back toward her car from Penny’s house. “She’s not home,” she called in explanation.
“Could you stay a couple of hours with Sammy now?” he asked, holding up his phone. “Vet emergency.”
Her face lit up like he’d offered her the world. “Of course! I’d love to!”
He beckoned her in and showed her the laminated instruction sheets he’d made for Sammy’s care. A little ridiculous, but Sammy was particular.
Now Jack knew at least a part of the reason why.
A smile tugged at the corner of Arianna’s mouth. “It’ll all be okay, Jack, really,” she said. “I know Sammy, and I’ve worked with autistic kids before. Go help your...steer or whatever. We’ll be fine.”
* * *
Three hours later, Arianna patted Sammy’s back as he bounced a bedraggled blue-and-white-checked bear. Whew. She’d finally found the toy he needed, and for the moment, he was content.
She, on the other hand, was anything but. Getting to take care of Sammy was sweet torture. She loved him with all her being, and Chloe had never let her be alone with him. She leaned forward and kissed the sweaty top of his head as he pushed his stuffed bear back and forth, humming tunelessly.
He glanced back at her as if slightly surprised but didn’t reject the contact. Good. She knew that some kids on the spectrum resisted physical touch, but Sammy didn’t seem to be in that category.
She looked around the living room, noting the bare walls, the end tables devoid of decoration, the shortage of pillows on the couch. Of course, Jack had just moved in. He hadn’t had time to add the small touches that made a house a home.
Would he ever? Was he the kind of man who could do that, could be both mom and dad?
Oh, how she’d like to stay nearby and care for Sammy. But the job situation in the small ranching town of Esperanza Springs was bleak. At most, she might be able to cobble together some part-time gigs, but to support herself...not likely.
She’d find work aplenty