Grandpapa — That your cue.
PETER: Ah! revile me Tia if you choose, but do not say I have not suffered, even if you think I have not. Don’t let on, it makes me jump so — Tia, weep no more or if you must weep and wring your hands, because that is your idea of the character, let it be for me, for it is I who have done this; it is I who have made you what you are! Quick more brandy (she brings it, he drinks) Ghosts, (whispers) You don’t think I’m saying Ghosts too often do you?
TIA: No, not at all. (aloud) You have not made me what I am, Grandpapa. It is only a wicked impulse of my own.
PETER: Poor Tia Tesman, and whence comes that impulse? It comes from me. It is hereditary, as all impulses are —
TIA: Speak quickly, grandpapa, speak quickly, (seizes him by shoulders).
PETER: Thickly? Is it quickly or thickly in Archer’s version never mind. The brandy — (drinks) Tia Tesman, nearly 40 years ago I married your grandmother, my confiding little baby wife Delia — and I have never had a moment’s happiness since! That was not her fault, it was mine — mine. Two evenings before the wedding one of her bridesmaids was staying with her and it so happened that the gas suddenly went out (Music) It was relit in a moment but during that time — Tia can you not help me out!
TIA (coldly): Go — on —
PETER: She was pretty — tobacco coloured hair impudent nose, soft chin, pleading eyes, laughing shoulders, rather plump and twenty round the waist — round the waist — I never saw her without a mad longing to take her face in my hands, gather her up, and — in short she was the kind I liked — Until that black night however, I succeeded in stepping back from her, in order to prevent myself stepping nearer — but when the gas went out — when the gas went out. Remember Tia, it must also have been hereditary in my case, otherwise I could not have done it. Tia, I offer no excuse for the impulse was not then so strong (It came from my great aunt on my mother’s side) but that I could have resisted it.
TIA: The gas went out?
PETER: Went out — it must have been hereditary — and then, ha, ha! I kissed her, yes Tia I kissed her — she was the kind I liked (crosses) in another second the gas was lit, and she was at the opposite end of the room, looking at some photographs. Ay, glare at me Tia, glare at me. It is I who have given you this fell disease —
TIA: I see, I see, the scales fall from my eyes. Oh you wicked old man. (faints R.)
PETER: She was the kind I liked — Fainted — Dead! Don’t say you’re dead, Tia. Ha, the brandy, (pours out) say when Tia, say when. Water?
TIA (faintly): Potash.
PETEF.: No, thank you, Tia. I take it neat, neat. (Drinks it off)
TIA (sitting up ): Ghosts.
PETER: Have you got ‘em too, Tia — What change is this that has come over you —
TIA: You notice it? Grandpapa, your confession has made a woman of me. It has turned me into a Hedda. Look! Look! I am no longer Tia Tesman. I am a Hedda Gabler.
PETER: She is a Hedda now. (Bell rings) Ha Grandmama.
TIA: I must away to think — to think.
PETER: About your future Tia. I mean Hedda.
TIA: No, about yours. How will you do it Grandpapa? (she now imitates Hedda)
PETER: Do it?
TIA: You don’t mean that you will go on living — No, put vine leaves in your hair and do it. Oh, why should you have been able thus to destroy me? Hereditary! Why should I suffer for your sins? Grandpapa, I shut my eyes and see a new Era dawning. I tell you, I warn you, that the day is fast approaching when there will be no heredity, a day when old conditions will be played out, and new conditions will take their place — conditions under which there shall be no such things as Grandfathers.
(Exit C. )
PETER (in chair L.): Tia, Tia Tesman, you would not blame me so much if you understood she was the kind I liked I don’t think I can do it, Tia, it will be a more severe punishment to live on, and Delia would not like me to do it. I am glad Delia is coming womanly, homely Delia. I wonder if Delia uses Gosse’s version or Archer’s. (Enter Delia L. She coughs.) Ah, my pet, and how did she like The Doll’s House? Delia my dear wife, I don’t quite care for Tia. I want to go home.
DELIA (glaring at him): Wife! Home! Oh, how I hate the words!
PETER (jumps up and then falls into seat): You too Delia! The Brandy! (she snatches bottle from him) Gosse — I mean Ghosts.
DELIA: How did I like The Doll’s House? It has made a woman of me. Peter Terence — I have come here to call you to account. I am your doll no longer (triumphantly)
PETER: Have we not been happy, Delia?
DELIA: Because we knew no better. Go on Peter Terence, cast my innocence in my teeth — I know what you will say, that you have been faithful to me Yes, you have been faithful and yet you call yourself a man —
PETER: A virtuous woman —
DELIA: Virtuous! Have I ever had a chance of being anything else? I am your wife. We were to be complement and supplement — it was on that understanding you got me, and how have you kept your trust? Peter Terence answer me this. Did you ever take me into low society? Dare you answer yes? You dare not. Of the women who have come to our house during these 40 years of ridiculous happiness, was there one who was not a lady? Peter Terence, there was not. You know the world, you see it in all its colours, and yet did you ever bring home a disreputable man to dinner? Not one — Peter Terence. Did you ever make a remark in my presence that was not fit for a lady’s ear? Never — When I should have been living my own life, were you not, dandling me on your knee, and taking hairpins from my hair to clean your pipes with? I have borne you six children Peter Terence, and did you propose that they should be sent out to nurse, because a true woman cannot be bothered with children? Did you relieve me of the trouble of rearing one of them? Not one — I had to bring them all up myself, they called me, mother — you stood by and let them call me, mother!
PETER: The Brandy —
DELIA: No —
PETER: But my Duck —
DELIA: No —
PETER: I mean my wild duck —
DELIA: You disgracefully, healthy minded old man, for shame —
PETER: Ghosts then — You have no objections to my saying Ghosts? I must say something.
(Tia enters C. and listens)
DELIA: Not to me. Henceforth Peter Terence our paths lie in different directions You go one way and I go the other —
PETER: Delia Terence, Deliar Tremers, Delirium Tremens —
DELIA: And if you are half a man, you will set off upon yours directly.
(Tia rushes down L. and hands him a pistol)
TIA: Do Grandpapa.
PETER (shrinking): Hedda Gabler’s pistol.
TIA: One of them. Grandpapa take it and leave this contemptible world, with scorn upon your countenance and vine leaves in your hair. Oh, it is the one course still open to a brave man. (whispers) Archer’s version says that you here take the pistol —
PETER (sadly): So does Gosse’s.
(takes pistol)
DELIA: Look sharp Peter.
PETER: D’you know — I don’t like London —
TIA: Grandpapa. Do it gracefully —
DELIA: Oh, do it anyhow —
PETER: Patience, my dears. I — I am not used to this sort of thing — It’s — it’s got very warm don’t you think Delia? The — a — summer has come at last — Tia — eh?
TIA: