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Herbert George Jenkins
Adventures of Bindle
Published by Good Press, 2019
EAN 4057664638250
Table of Contents
THE COURTING OF THE REV. ANDREW MACFIE
THE DOWNFALL OF MR. JABEZ STIFFSON
THE CAMOUFLAGING OF MR. GUPPERDUCK
THE TRAGEDY OF GIUSEPPI ANTONIO TOLMENICINO
All the characters in this book are entirely imaginary and have no relation whatsoever to any living persons.
ADVENTURES OF BINDLE
CHAPTER I
THE COMING OF THE LODGER
Bang! Even Bindle was startled by the emphasis with which Mrs. Bindle placed upon the supper-table a large pie-dish containing a savoury-smelling stew.
"Anythink wrong?" he enquired solicitously, gazing at Mrs. Bindle over the top of the evening paper.
"Wrong!" she cried. "Is there anything right?"
"Well, there's beer, an' Beatty, an' the boys wot's fightin'," began Bindle suggestively.
"Don't talk to me!" Mrs. Bindle banged a plate of stew in front of Bindle, to which he applied himself earnestly.
For some minutes the only sound was that occasioned by Bindle's enjoyment of his supper, as he proceeded to read the newspaper propped up in front of him.
"You're nice company, aren't you?" cried Mrs. Bindle, making a dive with the spoon at a potato, which she transferred to her plate. "I might be on a desert island for all the company you are."
Bindle gazed at Mrs. Bindle over the small bone from which he was detaching the last vestiges of nutriment by means of his teeth. He replaced the bone on the edge of his plate in silence.
"You think of nothing but your stomach," Mrs. Bindle continued angrily. "Look at you now!"
"Well, now, ain't you funny!" remarked Bindle, as he replaced his glass upon the table. "If I'm chatty, you say, ''Old your tongue!' If I ain't chatty, you ask why I ain't a-makin' love to you."
After a moment's silence he continued meditatively: "I kept rabbits, silkworms, an' a special kind o' performin' flea, an' I seemed to get to understand 'em all; but women—well, you may search me!" and he pushed his plate from him as a sign of repletion.
Mrs. Bindle rose from the table. Bindle watched her curiously; it was never wise to enquire what course was to follow.
"I answered an advertisement to-day," she announced, as she banged an apple-pie on the table.
With difficulty Bindle withdrew his interest from the pie to