DOCTOR
Up to the very last moment I didn't know whether your wife would pull through or not. I used all the means at the disposal of medical skill and science. But science can do very little unless nature helps too; I was really excited. My pulse is still going hard. Though I have assisted at so many births, yet I can't rid myself of a sense of uneasiness. But you are not listening to me, sir.
MAN'S FATHER
I'm listening, but I can't hear. Her screams are still ringing in my ears, and it's hard for me to pull myself together. Poor woman, how she suffered! I was a fool, I was stupid and wanted to have children. But hereafter I will renounce. It is criminal.
DOCTOR
You will call me again when your next child comes.
FATHER
No, never. I'm ashamed to admit it, but just now I hate the child for which she suffered so. I didn't even see him. What sort of a boy is he?
DOCTOR
He's a well-fed, strong little youngster, and if I'm not mistaken he resembles you.
FATHER
Me? Fine! Now I'm beginning to love him. I always wanted a boy to look like me. Did you see—his nose is like mine, isn't it?
DOCTOR
Yes, his nose and eyes.
FATHER
His eyes too? Ah, that's good. I'll raise your fee.
DOCTOR
You'll have to pay me for using the instruments also.
FATHER (turning to the corner where He stands motionless)
God, I thank Thee for having granted my wish and given me a son who resembles me. I thank Thee for preserving my wife from death, and bringing my child into the world alive. I pray Thee that he may grow up big, healthy, and strong; that he may be wise and honest, and that he may never cause us grief, but be a constant joy to his mother and me. If Thou wilt do this, I will always believe in Thee and go to church.
[Enter Relatives, six in number. An elderly woman, uncommonly stout, with a double chin and small, proud eyes and an air of extreme haughtiness and self-importance. An elderly man, her husband, very tall and uncommonly thin, so that his coat hangs loosely on his body; a short goatee, long, smooth hair, as if wet, reaching to his shoulders; eye-glasses; has a frightened; yet pedantic expression; a low black silk hat in his hand. A young girl, their daughter, with naïvely upturned nose, blinking eyes, and open mouth. A weazened woman, with contracted features and a sour expression, in her hand a handkerchief, with which she frequently wipes her mouth; Two young men, looking absolutely alike, with extremely high collars that stretch their necks; glossy hair; a hesitating, embarrassed expression. The characteristics of each of the Relatives is exaggerated in the extreme.
ELDERLY LADY
Let me congratulate you on the birth of your son, dear brother. (Kisses him)
ELDERLY MAN
My dear brother, I heartily congratulate you on the birth of your son, to which you have been looking forward so long. (Kisses him)
THE REST
We congratulate you, dear uncle, on the birth of your son.
[They kiss him. Exit the Doctor.
MAN'S FATHER (greatly moved)
Thank you! Thank you! You are all very good, very nice, dear people, and I love you very much. I had my doubts beforehand thought that you, dear sister, were a little too much rapt up in yourself and your own worth and importance; and that you, dear brother, were somewhat too pedantic. The rest of you I thought were too cold to me, and came here only for the sake of the dinners. Now I see I was mistaken. I'm very happy. I get a son who resembles me, and then all at once I see myself surrounded by so many good people who love me. (They kiss)
GIRL
Uncle dear, what are you going to call your son? I hope you'll give him a lovely, poetic name. So much depends on a man's name.
ELDERLY LADY
I should advise a simple, solid name. Men with nice names are usually frivolous and rarely successful.
ELDERLY MAN
It seems to me, brother, you should name your son after some older relative. Keeping the same names in the family tends to preserve and strengthen the line.
FATHER
Yes, my wife and I have already discussed the subject, but have not been able to reach a decision. You see, there are so many new things to think of when a child comes, so many new problems to solve which never arose before.
ELDERLY LADY
It fills up your life.
ELDERLY MAN
It gives life a beautiful purpose. By properly educating a child, preventing it from making the mistakes which we had to pay for so dearly, and strengthening its mind with our own rich experiences, we produce a better man and advance slowly but surely toward the final goal of existence, which is perfection.
FATHER
You are quite right, brother. When I was little I loved to torture animals. That developed cruelty in me. I won't allow my son to torture animals. Even after I had grown up I often made mistakes in my friendships and love. I chose friends who were unworthy and women who were faithless. I'll explain to my son—
DOCTOR (enters and says aloud)
Your wife is feeling very bad. She wants to see you.
FATHER
Oh, my God! (He and the Doctor leave)
[The Relatives seat themselves in a semicircle. Solemn silence for a time. Someone in Gray stands motionless in the corner, His stony face turned toward them.
RELATIVES' CONVERSATION
—Do you think, dear, she may die?
—No, I don't think so. She is a very impatient woman and makes too much of her pains. All women bear children and none of them die. I have borne six children.
—But the way she screamed, mamma?
—Yes, her face was purple from screaming. I noticed it.
—Not from screaming, but from laboring. You don't understand about these things. My face got purple too, but I didn't scream.
—Not long ago an acquaintance of mine, the civil engineer's wife, gave birth to a child, and she scarcely made a sound.
—I know. There's no need for my brother to be so upset. One must be firm and take things calmly. And I'm afraid, too, he'll introduce a lot of his fantastic notions in the bringing up of his children and indulge their every whim.
—He's a very weak character. He has little enough money, and yet he lends