DIANA.
By Jove, if ever I knew man, ‘twas you.
KING.
Wherefore hast thou accus’d him all this while?
DIANA.
Because he’s guilty, and he is not guilty:
He knows I am no maid, and he’ll swear to’t:
I’ll swear I am a maid, and he knows not.
Great King, I am no strumpet, by my life;
I am either maid, or else this old man’s wife.
[Pointing to LAFEU.]
KING.
She does abuse our ears; to prison with her.
DIANA.
Good mother, fetch my bail.—Stay, royal sir;
[Exit WIDOW.]
The jeweller that owes the ring is sent for,
And he shall surety me. But for this lord
Who hath abus’d me as he knows himself,
Though yet he never harm’d me, here I quit him:
He knows himself my bed he hath defil’d;
And at that time he got his wife with child.
Dead though she be, she feels her young one kick;
So there’s my riddle:—One that’s dead is quick;
And now behold the meaning.
[Re-enter Widow with HELENA.]
KING.
Is there no exorcist
Beguiles the truer office of mine eyes?
Is’t real that I see?
HELENA.
No, my good lord;
‘Tis but the shadow of a wife you see—
The name, and not the thing.
BERTRAM.
Both, both; O, pardon!
HELENA.
O, my good lord, when I was like this maid;
I found you wondrous kind. There is your ring,
And, look you, here’s your letter. This it says,
‘When from my finger you can get this ring,
And are by me with child, &c.’— This is done:
Will you be mine now you are doubly won?
BERTRAM.
If she, my liege, can make me know this clearly,
I’ll love her dearly, ever, ever dearly.
HELENA.
If it appear not plain, and prove untrue,
Deadly divorce step between me and you!—
O my dear mother, do I see you living?
LAFEU. Mine eyes smell onions; I shall weep anon:— Good Tom Drum [to PAROLLES], lend me a handkercher: so, I thank thee; wait on me home, I’ll make sport with thee: let thy courtesies alone, they are scurvy ones.
KING.
Let us from point to point this story know,
To make the even truth in pleasure flow:—
If thou beest yet a fresh uncropped flower,
[To DIANA.]
Choose thou thy husband, and I’ll pay thy dower;
For I can guess that, by thy honest aid,
Thou kept’st a wife herself, thyself a maid.
Of that and all the progress, more and less,
Resolvedly more leisure shall express:
All yet seems well; and if it end so meet,
The bitter past, more welcome is the sweet.
[Flourish.]
The king’s a beggar, now the play is done;
All is well-ended if this suit be won,
That you express content; which we will pay
With strife to please you, day exceeding day:
Ours be your patience then, and yours our parts;
Your gentle hands lend us, and take our hearts.
[Exeunt.]
THE END
AS YOU LIKE IT
By William Shakespeare
Persons Represented
DUKE, living in exile
FREDERICK, Brother to the Duke, and Usurper of his Dominions
AMIENS, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment
JAQUES, Lord attending on the Duke in his Banishment
LE BEAU, a Courtier attending upon Frederick
CHARLES, his Wrestler
OLIVER, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois
JAQUES, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois
ORLANDO, Son of Sir Rowland de Bois
ADAM, Servant to Oliver
DENNIS, Servant to Oliver
TOUCHSTONE, a Clown
SIR OLIVER MARTEXT, a Vicar
CORIN, Shepherd
SILVIUS, Shepherd
WILLIAM, a Country Fellow, in love with Audrey
A person representing HYMEN
ROSALIND, Daughter to the banished Duke
CELIA, Daughter to Frederick
PHEBE, a Shepherdess
AUDREY, a Country Wench
Lords belonging to the two Dukes; Pages, Foresters, and other Attendants.
The SCENE lies first near OLIVER’S house;
afterwards partly in the Usurper’s court
and partly in the Forest of Arden.
ACT I
SCENE I. An Orchard near OLIVER’S house
[Enter ORLANDO and ADAM.]
ORLANDO
As I remember, Adam, it was upon this fashion,—bequeathed me by will but poor a thousand crowns, and, as thou say’st, charged my brother, on his blessing, to breed me well: and there begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit: for my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to speak more properly, stays me here at home unkept: for call you that keeping for a gentleman of my birth that differs not from the stalling of an ox? His horses are bred better; for, besides that they are fair with their feeding, they are taught their manage, and to that end riders dearly hired; but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but growth; for the which his animals on his dunghills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the something that nature gave me, his countenance seems to take from me: he lets me feed with his hinds, bars me the place of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines my gentility with my education. This is it, Adam, that grieves me; and the spirit of my father, which I think is within me, begins to mutiny against this servitude; I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how to avoid it.
ADAM
Yonder comes my master, your brother.