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FANTASTICAL ADVENTURES – L. Frank Baum Edition (Childhood Essentials Library)


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man with the head of an owl. His body was hairy like that of an ape, and his only clothing was a scarlet scarf twisted around his waist. He bore a huge club in his hand and his round owl eyes blinked fiercely upon the intruder.

      “What are you doing here?” he demanded, threatening Guph with his club.

      “I’ve come to see the First and Foremost Phanfasm of Phantastico,” replied the General, who did not like the way this creature looked at him, but still was not afraid.

      “Ah; you shall see him!” the man said, with a sneering laugh. “The First and Foremost shall decide upon the best way to punish you.”

      “He will not punish me,” returned Guph, calmly, “for I have come here to do him and his people a rare favor. Lead on, fellow, and take me directly to your master.”

      The owl-man raised his club with a threatening gesture.

      “If you try to escape,” he said, “beware—”

      But here the General interrupted him.

      “Spare your threats,” said he, “and do not be impertinent, or I will have you severely punished. Lead on, and keep silent!”

      This Guph was really a clever rascal, and it seems a pity he was so bad, for in a good cause he might have accomplished much. He realized that he had put himself into a dangerous position by coming to this dreadful mountain, but he also knew that if he showed fear he was lost. So he adopted a bold manner as his best defense. The wisdom of this plan was soon evident, for the Phanfasm with the owl’s head turned and led the way up the mountain.

      At the very top was a level plain upon which were heaps of rock that at first glance seemed solid. But on looking closer Guph discovered that these rock heaps were dwellings, for each had an opening.

      Not a person was to be seen outside the rock huts. All was silent.

      The owl-man led the way among the groups of dwellings to one standing in the center. It seemed no better and no worse than any of the others. Outside the entrance to this rock heap the guide gave a low wail that sounded like “Lee-ow-ah!”

      Suddenly there bounded from the opening another hairy man. This one wore the head of a bear. In his hand he bore a brass hoop. He glared at the stranger in evident surprise.

      “Why have you captured this foolish wanderer and brought him here?” he demanded, addressing the owl-man.

      “I did not capture him,” was the answer. “He passed the scarlet alligator and came here of his own free will and accord.”

      The First and Foremost looked at the General.

      “Have you tired of life, then?” he asked.

      “No indeed,” answered Guph. “I am a Nome, and the Chief General of King Roquat the Red’s great army of Nomes. I come of a long-lived race, and I may say that I expect to live a long time yet. Sit down, you Phanfasms—if you can find a seat in this wild haunt—and listen to what I have to say.”

      With all his knowledge and bravery General Guph did not know that the steady glare from the bear eyes was reading his inmost thoughts as surely as if they had been put into words. He did not know that these despised rock heaps of the Phanfasms were merely deceptions to his own eyes, nor could he guess that he was standing in the midst of one of the most splendid and luxurious cities ever built by magic power. All that he saw was a barren waste of rock heaps, a hairy man with an owl’s head and another with a bear’s head. The sorcery of the Phanfasms permitted him to see no more.

      Suddenly the First and Foremost swung his brass hoop and caught Guph around the neck with it. The next instant, before the General could think what had happened to him, he was dragged inside the rock hut. Here, his eyes still blinded to realities, he perceived only a dim light, by which the hut seemed as rough and rude inside as it was outside. Yet he had a strange feeling that many bright eyes were fastened upon him and that he stood in a vast and extensive hall.

      The First and Foremost now laughed grimly and released his prisoner.

      “If you have anything to say that is interesting,” he remarked, “speak out, before I strangle you.”

      So Guph spoke out. He tried not to pay any attention to a strange rustling sound that he heard, as of an unseen multitude drawing near to listen to his words. His eyes could see only the fierce bear-man, and to him he addressed his speech. First he told of his plan to conquer the Land of Oz and plunder the country of its riches and enslave its people, who, being fairies, could not be killed. After relating all this, and telling of the tunnel the Nome King was building, he said he had come to ask the First and Foremost to join the Nomes, with his band of terrible warriors, and help them to defeat the Oz people.

      The General spoke very earnestly and impressively, but when he had finished the bear-man began to laugh as if much amused, and his laughter seemed to be echoed by a chorus of merriment from an unseen multitude. Then, for the first time, Guph began to feel a trifle worried.

      “Who else has promised to help you?” finally asked the First and Foremost.

      “The Whimsies,” replied the General.

      Again the bear-headed Phanfasm laughed.

      “Any others?” he inquired.

      “Only the Growleywogs,” said Guph.

      This answer set the First and Foremost laughing anew.

      “What share of the spoils am I to have?” was the next question.

      “Anything you like, except King Roquat’s Magic Belt,” replied Guph.

      At this the Phanfasm set up a roar of laughter, which had its echo in the unseen chorus, and the bear-man seemed so amused that he actually rolled upon the ground and shouted with merriment.

      “Oh, these blind and foolish Nomes!” he said. “How big they seem to themselves and how small they really are!”

      Suddenly he arose and seized Guph’s neck with one hairy paw, dragging him out of the hut into the open.

      Here he gave a curious wailing cry, and, as if in answer, from all the rocky huts on the mountaintop came flocking a horde of Phanfasms, all with hairy bodies, but wearing heads of various animals, birds and reptiles. All were ferocious and repulsive-looking to the deceived eyes of the Nome, and Guph could not repress a shudder of disgust as he looked upon them.

      The First and Foremost slowly raised his arms, and in a twinkling his hairy skin fell from him and he appeared before the astonished Nome as a beautiful woman, clothed in a flowing gown of pink gauze. In her dark hair flowers were entwined, and her face was noble and calm.

      At the same instant the entire band of Phanfasms was transformed into a pack of howling wolves, running here and there as they snarled and showed their ugly yellow fangs.

      The woman now raised her arms, even as the man-bear had done, and in a twinkling the wolves became crawling lizards, while she herself changed into a huge butterfly.

      Guph had only time to cry out in fear and take a step backward to avoid the lizards when another transformation occurred, and all returned instantly to the forms they had originally worn.

      Then the First and Foremost, who had resumed his hairy body and bear head, turned to the Nome and asked:

      “Do you still demand our assistance?”

      “More than ever,” answered the General, firmly.

      “Then tell me: what can you offer the Phanfasms that they have not already?” inquired the First and Foremost.

      Guph hesitated. He really did not know what to say. The Nome King’s vaunted Magic Belt seemed a poor thing compared to the astonishing magical powers of these people. Gold, jewels and slaves they might secure in any quantity without especial effort. He felt that he was dealing with powers greatly beyond him. There was but one argument that might influence the Phanfasms, who were creatures of evil.

      “Permit