E. F. Benson

THE COLLECTED WORKS OF E. F. BENSON (Illustrated Edition)


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read your thoughts. Think of what you saw when you turned round."

      She took his hand and pressed it to her forehead, closing her eyes.

      "But I do seem to see an Indian," she said. "Ah, not red Indian, other Indian. And — and he has slippers on and brown stockings — no, not brown stockings; it's legs. And there's a beard, and a turban."

      She gave a sigh.

      "That's all I can see," she said.

      "My dear, you're marvellous," said he. "You're quite right."

      A slight bubbling sound came from Peppino, and Georgie began to suspect.

      "I believe you've seen him!" he said. "How tarsome you are . . ."

      When they had all laughed a great deal, and Georgie had been assured that Lucia really, word of honour, had no idea what happened next, the narrative was resumed.

      "So there stood the Indian, bowing and salaaming most politely and when Rush had promised me he would send my crème de menthe that very morning, I just looked through a wine list for a moment, and the Indian with quantities more bows came up to the counter and said, 'If you will have the great goodness to give me a little brandy bottle.' So Rush gave it him, and instead of paying for it, what do you think he said? Guess."

      Mrs Lucas rose with the air of Lady Macbeth and pointed her finger at Georgie.

      "He said 'Put it down to Mrs Quantock's account,' " she hissed.

      Of course the explanation came now, and Lucia told the two men the contents of Mrs Quantock's letter. With that her cards were on the table, and though the fact of the Brahmin from Benares was news to Georgie, he had got many interesting things to tell her, for his house adjoined Mrs Quantock's and there were plenty of things which Mrs Quantock had not mentioned in her letter, so that Georgie was soon in the position of informant again. His windows overlooked Mrs Quantock's garden, and since he could not keep his eyes shut all day, it followed that the happenings there were quite common property. Indeed that was a general rule in Riseholme: anyone in an adjoining property could say, "What an exciting game of lawn-tennis you had this afternoon!" having followed it from his bedroom. That was part of the charm of Riseholme; it was as if it contained just one happy family with common interests and pursuits. What happened in the house was a more private matter, and Mrs Quantock, for instance, would never look from the rising ground at the end of her garden into Georgie's dining-room or, if she did she would never tell anyone how many places were laid at table on that particular day when she had asked if he could give her lunch, and he had replied that to his great regret his table was full. But nobody could help seeing into gardens from back windows: the "view" belonged to everybody.

      Georgie had had wonderful views.

      "That very day," he said, "soon after lunch, I was looking for a letter I thought I had left in my bedroom, and happening to glance out, I saw the Indian sitting under Mrs Quantock's pear tree. He was swaying a little backwards and forwards."

      "The brandy!" said Lucia excitedly. "He has his meals in his own room."

      "No, amica, it was not the brandy. In fact I don't suppose the brandy had gone to Mrs Quantock's then, for he did not take it from Rush's, but asked that it should be sent . . ." He paused a moment — "Or did he take it away? I declare I can't remember. But anyhow when he swayed backwards and forwards, he wasn't drunk, for presently he stood on one leg, and crooked the other behind it, and remained there with his hands up, as if he was praying, for quite a long time without swaying at all. So he couldn't have been tipsy. And then he sat down again, and took off his slippers, and held his toes with one hand, while his legs were quite straight out, and put his other hand round behind his head, and grasped his other ear with it. I tried to do it on my bedroom floor, but I couldn't get near it. Then he sat up again and called 'Chela! Chela!' and Mrs Quantock came running out."

      "Why did he say 'Chela'?" asked Lucia.

      "I wondered too. But I knew I had some clue to it, so I looked through some books by Rudyard Kipling, and found that chela meant 'disciple.' What you have told me just now about 'guru' being 'teacher,' seems to piece the whole thing together."

      "And what did Daisy do?" asked Mrs Lucas breathlessly.

      "She sat down too, and put her legs out straight in front of her like the guru, and tried to hold the toe of her shoe in her fingers, and naturally she couldn't get within yards of it. I got nearer than she did. And he said, 'Beloved lady, not too far at first.' "

      "So you could hear too," said Lucia.

      "Naturally, for my window was open, and as you know Mrs Quantock's pear tree is quite close to the house. And then he told her to stop up one nostril with her finger and inhale through the other, and then hold her breath, while he counted six. Then she breathed it all out again, and started with the other side. She repeated that several times and he was very much pleased with her. Then she said, 'It is quite wonderful; I feel so light and vigorous.' "

      "It would be very wonderful indeed if dear Daisy felt light," remarked Lucia. "What next?"

      "Then they sat and swayed backwards and forwards again and muttered something that sounded like Pom!"

      "That would be 'Om'; and then?"

      "I couldn't wait any longer for I had some letters to write."

      She smiled at him.

      "I shall give you another cup of tea to reward you for your report," she said. "It has all been most interesting. Tell me again about the breathing in and holding your breath."

      Georgie did so, and illustrated in his own person what had happened. Next moment Lucia was imitating him, and Peppino came round in order to get a better view of what Georgie was doing. Then they all sat, inhaling through one nostril, holding their breath, and then expelling it again.

      "Very interesting," said Lucia at the end. "Upon my word, it does give one a sort of feeling of vigour and lightness. I wonder if there is something in it."

      Chapter Three

       Table of Contents

      Though The Hurst was, as befitted its châtelaine, the most Elizabethanly complete abode in Riseholme, the rest of the village, in its due degree, fell very little short of perfection. It had but its one street some half-mile in length but that street was a gem of mediaeval domestic architecture. For the most part the houses that lined it were blocks of contiguous cottages, which had been converted either singly or by twos and threes into dwellings containing the comforts demanded by the twentieth century, but externally they preserved the antiquity which, though it might be restored or supplemented by bathrooms or other conveniences, presented a truly Elizabethan appearance. There were, of course, accretions such as old inn signs above front-doors and old bell-pulls at their sides, but the doors were uniformly of inconveniently low stature, roofs were of stone slabs or old brick, in which a suspiciously abundant crop of antirrhinums and stone crops had anchored themselves, and there was hardly a garden that did not contain a path of old paving-stones, a mulberry tree and some yews cut into shape.

      Nothing in the place was more blatantly mediaeval than the village green, across which Georgie took his tripping steps after leaving the presence of his queen. Round it stood a row of great elms, and in its centre was the ducking-pond, according to Riseholme tradition, though perhaps in less classical villages it might have passed merely for a duck-pond. But in Riseholme it would have been rank heresy to dream, even in the most pessimistic moments, of its being anything but a ducking-pond. Close by it stood a pair of stocks, about which there was no doubt whatever, for Mr Lucas had purchased them from a neighbouring iconoclastic village, where they were going to be broken up, and, after having them repaired, had presented them to the village-green, and chosen their site close to the ducking pond. Round the green were grouped the shops of the village, slightly apart from the residential street, and at the far end of it was that undoubtedly Elizabethan hostelry, the Ambermere Arms, full to overflowing of ancient tables and bible-boxes, and firedogs