of close acquaintance with dictionaries, but having a facile imagination and some creative ability, Casey kept pace with progress and invented words of his own which he applied lavishly to all automobiles; but particularly and emphatically he applied the spiciest, most colorful ones to Fords.
Put yourself in Casey’s place, and you will understand. Imagine yourself with a thirty-mile trip to make down a twisty, rough mountain road built in the days when men hauled ore down the mountain on wagons built to bump over rocks without damage to anything but human bones. You are Casey Ryan, remember; you never stopped for stage robbers or grizzlies in the past, and you have your record to maintain as the hardest driver in the West. You are proud of that record, because you know how you have driven to earn it.
You pop the lash over the ears of your leaders and go whooping down a long, straight bit of road where you count on making time. When you are about halfway down and the four horses are running even and tugging pleasantly at the reins, and you are happy enough to sing your favorite song, which begins,
“Hey, ole Bill! Can-n yuh play the fiddle-o? Yes, by gosh! I—I—kin play a liddle-o—”
and never gets beyond that one flat statement, around the turn below you comes a Ford, rattling all its joints trying to make the hill on “high.” The driver honks wildly at you to give him the road—you, Casey Ryan! Wouldn’t you writhe and invent words and apply them viciously to all Fords and the man who invented them? But the driver comes at you honking, squawking,—and you turn out.
You have to, unless the Ford does; and Fords don’t. A Ford will send a twin-six swerving sharply to the edge of a ditch, and even Casey Ryan must swing his leaders to the right in obedience to that raucous command.
Once Casey didn’t. He had the patience of the good-natured, and for awhile he had contented himself with his vocabulary and his reputation as a driver and a fighter, and the record he held of making the thirty miles from Pinnacle to Lund in an hour and thirty-five minutes, twenty-six days in the month. (He did not publish his running expenses, by the way, nor did he mention the fact that his passengers were mostly strangers picked up at the railway station at Lund because they liked the look of the picturesque four-horses-and-Casey stagecoach.)
Once Casey refused to turn out. That morning he had been compelled to wait and whip a heavy man who berated Casey because the heavy man’s wife had ridden from Pinnacle to Lund the day before and had fainted at the last sharp turn in the road and had not revived in time to board the train for Salt Lake which she had been anxious to catch. Casey had known she was anxious to catch the train, and he had made the trip in an hour and twenty-nine minutes in spite of the fact that he had driven the last mile with a completely unconscious lady leaning heavily against his left shoulder. She made much better time with Casey than she would have made on the narrow-gauge train which carried ore and passengers and mail to Lund, arriving when most convenient to the train crew. That it took half an hour to restore her to consciousness was not Casey’s fault.
Casey had succeeded in whipping the heavy man till he hollered, but the effort had been noticeable. Casey wondered uneasily whether by any chance he, Casey Ryan, was growing old with the rest of the world. That possibility had never before occurred to him, and the thought was disquieting. Casey Ryan too old to lick any man who gave him cause, too old to hold the fickle esteem of those who met him in the road? Casey squinted belligerently at the Old-man-with-the-scythe and snorted. “I licked him good. You ask anybody. And he’s twice as big as I am. I guess they’s a good many years left in Casey Ryan yet! Giddap, you—thus-and-so! We’re ten minutes late and we got our record!”
At that moment a Ford touring car popped around the turn below him and squawked presumptuously for a clear passage ahead. Casey pulled his lash off the nigh leader, yelled and charged straight down the road. Did they think they could honk him off the road? Hunh! Casey Ryan was still Casey Ryan. Never again would he turn out for man or devil.
Wherefore Casey was presently extricating his leaders from the harness of his wheelers ten feet below the grade. On the road above him the driver of the Ford inspected bent parts and a smashed headlight and cranked and cranked ineffectively, and swore down at Casey Ryan, who squinted unblinkingly up under his hatbrim at the man he likewise cussed.
They were a long while there exchanging disagreeable opinions of one another, and Casey was even obliged to climb the steep bank and whip the driver of the Ford because he had applied a word to Casey which had never failed as automatic prelude to a Casey Ryan combat. Casey was frankly winded when he finally mounted one of his horses and led the other three, and so proceeded to Lund as mad as he had ever been in his life.
“That there settles it final,” he snorted, when the town came into view in the flat below. “They’ve pushed Casey off’n the grade for the first time and the last time. What pushin’ and crowdin’ and squawkin’ is done from now on, it’ll be Casey Ryan doin’ it! Faint! I’ll learn ‘em something to faint about. If it’s Fords goin’ to run horses off’n the trail, you watch how Casey Ryan’ll drive the livin’ tar outa one. Dog-gone ‘em, there ain’t no Ford livin’ that can drive Casey off’n the road. I’ll drive ‘em till their tongues hang out. I’ll make ‘em bawl like a calf, and I’ll pound ‘em on the back and make ‘em fan it faster.”
So talking to himself and his team he rode into town and up to one of those ubiquitous Ford agencies that write their curly-tailed blue lettering across the continent from the high nose of Maine to the shoulder of Cape Flattery.
“Gimme one of them dog-goned blankety bing-bing Ford auty-mo-biles,” he commanded the garage owner who came to meet Casey amiably in his shirt sleeves. “Here’s four horses I’ll trade yuh, with what’s left of the harness. And up at the third turn you’ll find a good wheel off’n the stage.” He slid down from the sweaty back of his nigh leader and stood slightly bow-legged and very determined before the garage owner, Bill Masters.
“Wel-l—there ain’t much sale for horses, Casey. I ain’t got any place to keep ‘em, nor any feed. I’ll sell yuh a Ford on time, and—”
Casey glanced over his shoulder to make sure the horses were standing quiet, dropped the reins and advanced upon Bill.
“You trade,” he stated flatly.
Bill backed a little. “Oh, all right, if that’s the way yuh feel. What yuh askin’ for the four just as they stand?”
“Me? A Ford auty-mo-bile. I told yuh that, Bill. And I want you to put on the biggest horn that’s made; one that can be heard from here to Pinnacle and back when I turn ‘er loose. And run the damn thing out here right away and show me how it works, and how often you gotta wind it and when. Lucky I didn’t bring no passengers down—I was runnin’ empty. But I gotta take back a load of Bohunks to the Bluebird this afternoon, and my stage, she’s a total wreck. I’ll sign papers to-night if you got any to sign.”
Chapter II
Thus was the trade effected with much speed and few preliminaries, because Bill knew Casey Ryan very intimately and had seen him in action when his temper was up. Bill adjusted an extra horn which he happened to have in stock. One of those terrific things that go far toward making the life of a pedestrian a nerve-racking succession of startles. Casey tried it out on himself before he would accept it. He walked several doors down the street with the understanding that Bill would honk at him when he was some little distance away. Bill waited until Casey’s attention was drawn to a lady with thick ankles who was crossing the street in a hurry and a stiff breeze. Bill came down on the metal plunger of the horn with all his might, and Casey jumped perceptibly and came back grinning.
“She’ll do. What’ll put a crimp in Casey Ryan’s spine is good enough for anybody. Bring her out here and show me how yuh work the damn thing. Guess she’ll hold six Bohunks, won’t she—with sideboards on? I’ll run ‘er around a coupla times b’fore I start out—and that’s all I will do.”
Naturally