questions, such as where and when I lost my virginity. And for this, a special thanks to him. At that time I was so sorry that Alexey was not my first man.
A year flew. We met, confessed love to each other. We were happy. Father increasingly began to apply to the bottle. I did not notice the degradation of my dear person. I did not notice how my mother, still a young woman, turns into an old woman under the weight of problems. I loved Alexey. We wanted to get married. But then an obstacle arose in the form of a summons to the army. Olga persuaded me to wait with the wedding. In her own way she was right. Alexey was upset. His parents, who were behind our relationship with him, were also upset. For them, I was a good girl. Besides being very attractive, I’m not stupid either.
We decided to wait. Alexey went to repay his homeland. On the wires to the army, we again vowed to love each other until death, I changed several handkerchiefs that were wet from tears. And then went the waiting time. No, I really waited for Alexey.
So a month passed, then the second, third. A girl named Veronica joined our company. She was the opposite of Olga. They were both plus and minus, but Veronica turned my whole life upside down. She was a few years older. She had more life experience than we put together. This is what she bribed me with. Gradually, I began to move away from Olga. She started dating a guy, their business went to a wedding and a quiet family life.
Veronica awakened in me everything that had fallen before. Student gatherings have become uninteresting for me. I was more and more attracted by new fashion items and attracted colorful storefronts. No, I still answered Alexey’s letters. Waiting for him and did not pay attention to other men. But, frankly, inside of me the first feeling for Alexey was fading more and more. I do not know why this happened. Maybe because I gradually changed my life priorities.
Under the influence of the Veronikin charms, I increasingly wanted to have the same blouse as hers, or lipstick. How and when a change occurred in me, I did not notice. I turned into a completely different Svetlana. No, I remained responsive and kind, but more and more often I was drawn to leaving home. I so did not want to see the drunk father and listen to constant scandals that I ran. I just ran to where I seemed to understand. I ran to Veronica. Together we began to spend much more time.
Olga and I met only in the classroom. I can’t forget our last conversation with her before a long breakup. Olga got married. With her husband, they were going to leave that country, which had not yet been. It was at the beginning of spring. We phoned and agreed to meet at our place. Olga arrived, as usual, without delay. A couple of template phrases, piercing Holguin’s look and just one word: «Think it over». At that moment, I told her too much, like, you are leaving for a better life, you are leaving me and etc. So we parted for many years. After fate will bring us together in one of the hotels in Turkey. It was about a couple of years after our last conversation. At that time, Turkey was just opening its tourist routes, and among the CIS countries this direction was an indicator of prosperity and well-being. But after our last student conversation I was very offended by Olga. She was leaving for Germany. Any foreign country at that time was a paradise for us. Later, when another five years was added to my years, I realized that Olga wanted a better life for her family. And she got it. Her husband, a programmer with a capital letter, was able to provide a decent life to Olga and the children. She became a housewife and devoted herself entirely to the family. I began to provide myself with a decent life in a different way. No, do not stand on the panel, but, in principle, if you look, it’s not far from this and left.
In those years, business began to grow rapidly. It could be called a business conditionally. It was more and more like eagerness, but there became more and more rich men. And it should be noted very rich. Veronica and I have become very attractive women for males. What is left of my past life? Maybe only appearance. Father is gone. Mother closed herself. I supported her as I could. I almost forgot about Alexei. I did not notice how time flew by, and he returned from the army. I haven’t written to him in recent months. I did not know what to write to him about. I had a different life, and I became different. That little Candy, as he liked to call me, was gone.
We met with Alexey almost by accident. He was waiting for me on the street. Unfortunately, it started to rain, and I did not want to get wet. The conversation was empty. But Alexey’s eyes were not empty. They seemed to say: «Well, why exactly?!» It even seemed to me that they were full of tears, only the rain did not make it clear whether this was so. We broke up. I did not have such man as Alexey for all my life.
How strange life is. What we have – we do not value, when we lose – we cry. No, then I did not cry. Cried after many years. Fate no longer gave me such a man as Alexey, nor such a friend as Olga. Who is guilty? Me myself. What happened to the fate of Alexei? I only know that he is doing well. The kids are growing up, the wife is smart and beautiful…
I began to appear less and less at home. Mom helped financially. How did I make a living? Now it is called an escort service. Here it is necessary to tell more about this.
As I said above, very rich men began to appear in the open spaces of the former USSR. They did not have time to look after the girls, they wanted to go straight to the point. And it was not about bed. At least men who offered to buy us for one night were sorted right away. We were interested in men who needed to be accompanied by a beautiful young girl. So they raised their inner self. Moreover, if the girl is smart, then she could also support the conversation or participate as an outside observer at a business meeting. And we were smart.
After graduation, we successfully avoided distribution. We did not want to go to work in the morning and then return from it. And so every day. We were not attracted to the routine of everyday life. We have learned to behave with men in ways that are beneficial to us, and, of course, to benefit from this. Someone may say: «Here are prostitutes!» Maybe in part he will be right. But in our version, we tried not to turn the work into bed. We earned on another. In addition, we were interested in making new acquaintances and moving up.
At that time, the so-called creams of society were very different. Among them, one could meet different people. Politicians, journalists, bandits… Veronica was not only smart, but also a very thoughtful girl. All the wisdom I learned was from her. For me now, profit has come first. It does not matter what, material or moral, but the benefit. I used to think about whether it would be convenient for a person. Now I was thinking if it would be convenient for me. Is it good or bad? I still cannot find an answer to this question, like to many others. In my current state there is a lot of time to think. Then this time was sorely lacking. I was constantly on the road, at meetings, on dates.
Men were the main source of my income. My mind and beauty did their job. I bought an apartment, made a gorgeous repair in my parents’ house. Mom could not get enough. Later, I found out that she secretly cried, realizing what kind of money it was and how they were made. For neighbors, on the bench of the parental home, all the ladies who drive in good cars and spin among wealthy men are on the same face and are smeared with one world. They couldn’t say it in the eyes of their mother, but behind the eyes. Well, God be their judge. It was from these speeches that my mummy cried. Although it should be noted that she held herself with dignity. I have never noticed her experiences. Only then, when she died, her sister and my aunt in hearts threw me a rebuke at the memorial table that I had brought my mother to the grave. How at that moment I wanted to snuggle up to my mom, my mom, and just ask her for forgiveness for everything. But she was not there. There were only faces almost strangers to me, stereotyped speeches and a full table of any food that these people consumed on both cheeks.
While we were setting up our business, we got connections that helped us a lot. In those years, «roofing» flourished. We were not affected by the problem of almost all entrepreneurs, to whom inflated guys offered their security services. All thanks to the connections. As soon as an emergency situation arose, we dialed a phone number or several numbers, and the problem was solved at that very minute. We hired several assistants, rented an office in a prestigious building, and generally