I can’t ask her to do something I couldn’t do. She isn’t ready for it. This is the one thing I’d keep her from. I’d rather she go back against Peccati than go out to that site.” And then I understood. It was a plane crash. This wasn’t danger he was worried about. It wasn’t a physical challenge. It was an emotional thing. And I wondered, too, how I would react when I got there. But this had to be done. If someone was missing, then my feelings were of little consequence. I wouldn’t risk someone’s life just to spare myself the anxiety.
I’d seen Jack’s crash site. The officials knew I’d go out there even if I had to walk so they arranged an escort. I was sure the military had hidden things from me. Technically I wasn’t allowed out there at all but they knew who they were dealing with, how stubborn I’d be and I think they might even have been sympathetic about my situation.
When I stepped out of the Jeep to view the site, all I saw was flame-blackened rubble. It was hard to tell that it had once been an F-15, and when I saw the impact site I knew there was no way anybody had survived that crash. At that moment my whole world had turned upside down. My husband Jack was gone, just like that, and it had happened so fast.
“You aren’t asking her, I am,” Strickland said, “and I think she’s the person for the job. Cassidy?”
“I’m on my way and I’ll take care of Rusty. Give me ten minutes.”
I hustled, gathering my wallet, keys and pack. I jumped into the Jeep and took off for the downtown police station. With green lights the station was only seven minutes away but the lights were rarely green. Ten minutes later I pulled into the station parking lot. At the counter inside I asked to see Detective Rusty Michaels.
“I’m sorry Miss Callahan. Detective Michaels can’t see you right now.”
“Okay. Can you just tell him I’ll go wait by Lou Strickland’s car and I’ll see him when he has the time?” There, that ought to bring him out.
I went outside and found Strickland’s red Suburban. At least he drove a recognizable car.
It didn’t take Rusty long to get outside.
“I heard the whole conversation you had with Strickland. What’s wrong? Why don’t you want me to do this?” I asked. He was beside himself. This was a side of Rusty I had never seen before. He was struggling to find an answer. “It’s a simple tracking case. A passenger’s gone missing from a crash. I won’t have to deal with the crash. I’ll have someone with me when I find the missing passenger. They will do all the medical stuff. I just have to find the missing person. So what’s the big deal? There’s something you’re hiding or there’s more to this than Strickland is telling me. Which is it?”
“Cassidy,” he said and I knew he was really struggling. He only used my whole name when he was serious. “I just can’t. I can’t let you go.”
“Because it’s a plane crash? Is that why? Rusty, a crash is a crash. It’s not like they can take Jack away again. He’s gone. But this missing person isn’t. If I can find them I need to try. You can’t toss aside someone’s life just because of my feelings. That’s selfish. You have to let go. We’ll deal with whatever comes up and it’ll all work out.”
I looked around and Lou was sitting on a planter observing. Watching me verbally stalking my goal. He seemed impressed. Guess he didn’t have a daughter. If he had a daughter he’d know the power we hold.
Rusty knew my logic was good. He knew I’d make it through this. But something was eating at him. I sensed fear, but what would frighten Rusty?
“Look at me,” I said. “We have a mission here. What’s the goal?”
No answer.
“Rusty, what’s the goal in this situation?”
He only said it because he knew it’s what I wanted to hear, “To find the lost passenger.”
“And what do we have to do to achieve that goal?”
A big sigh. “Lou can find someone else. It doesn’t have to be you.”
“Nope, Lou wouldn’t have called me if he had someone better. So what do we need to do?”
He almost didn’t say it. “I’ve got to let you go look for him.”
“Okay, so are we on the same page now? Are you going or staying?”
“Lou won’t let me. He says this is your ball game. He says we both have to face our own challenges.”
“Is he right?”
“I don’t know.” Long pause. “I promised myself I would always be there for you.”
I swallowed a big lump in my throat. I spoke with as much compassion as I could find. “You did? But… you can’t do that. You know there’s things you can’t control. You know you were bound to run into one of those things eventually. And it’s not very fair to me. Here I lead this jinxed life and you are trying to make yourself responsible for the outcome of it? You are not responsible for what happens to me. If you are, then it’s my fault if you get hurt. You need to ease up. This is a simple tracking case. How old is the trail? Not a day old. Plane crashes are sudden things and they require sudden action. So it’s not a day old. I can find this guy. I won’t dwell on the crash scene. Remember, it’s like a puzzle. I take the pieces that I need and I figure them out. I don’t need to figure out the crash site. I just have to find a trail and follow it.”
He stood there looking defeated. I hated doing that to him. I’d have to make it up to him later but right now I had a helicopter to catch.
“So,” I said, “I’m going to go with Lou and you’re going to let me go and I’ll call as soon as I get back.”
I gave him a big hug and felt the familiar chin on top of my head. I felt the sorrow as he struggled and then reluctantly let me go. I pictured the punching bag in the barn at my parent’s house. When I got frustrated I’d go punch that bag. I imagined the punching bag at the station might get a workout this afternoon.
Lou came up behind me. He clapped Rusty on the shoulder and gave him an “it’ll all be okay” look. He steered me away before Rusty could change his mind. Gee, I hated doing that to him, but I was really curious why this had affected him so strongly.
I grabbed my box of tracker tools from the Jeep, stuffed them in my daypack and followed Lou. I carefully kept track of the route as he drove to the helicopter pad. I might have to find this place on my own next time. When we got there five people stood around waiting for us looking like they had spent the entire last week at Starbucks. They were ready to roll. I felt bad for holding things up. Strickland parked the Suburban and we both got out.
“You’re late Strict, but I can see why. I’d be late too if I was you.”
“Ease up guys. This is Cassidy Callahan. She’s our tracker today. I know what you’re thinking, but I’ve seen her work. You will show her the respect she deserves. She’s proven herself to me more than once. Lanksy, you went after Kelly Green. Cassidy found him, and called in a team from L.A. to come retrieve him. You’ll be glad to know he’s back home and doing fine. Cassidy, this is Roscoe Lansky, Landon Wilson, and Victor Gomez, EMTs. This is Thez Brockman, all around good guy, and Gordon Thompson, county coroner. Guys, Cassidy Callahan, tracker. Now let’s get going.”
Everybody else seemed to know exactly what their job was. They leaped into action and gear was stowed. This was a routine run and each piece of gear had its assigned place on the helicopter. Each person slid things into place like a well oiled machine. I was the loose cog and they knew it.
Everybody already had their favorite places staked out on the helicopter. I climbed in and found an empty spot. The helicopter clattered away, lifting us into the sky. I watched out the window as the ground faded below me.
“First time in a helicopter?” Thez Brockman asked.
“Nope, been