alt="Images"/> Enhance the ability to concentrate, an essential skill before he begins school.
When children enjoy what they are doing (provided what they are doing is positive behavior), there is less need for your discipline, or your worry. If they are having fun, children can play alone with blocks, construct buildings, or play with other children in mutual cooperative activities for long periods of time.
Adults sometimes forget the importance of play. Through their play, children tell us what they are thinking and how they are feeling. If there are problems their play will reveal them. Play Therapy is a successful method to treat children who are having difficulty adjusting, or have had traumas, emotional issues, or other problems. You can better understand your child if you listen and watch her at play.
Before you look at the different ways your child can use toys, and before you become conversant with finding the right toys, I would like you to first think about the important place toys have held in your own life.
I created the Childhood \Toy Memory Exercise for many of my workshops with parents and teachers. It works well alone or with a partner. If you are doing it alone you may want to tape the questions and then replay them with your eyes closed. If you are doing it with a partner each should take a turn at trying the exercise. Through the experience you will discover that, no matter how “adult” you are, the significance of certain toys and play events often remains vivid in your life.
Dr. Toy’s Childhood Toy Memory Exercise
Close your eyes. Get comfortable and relax. Take a deep breath. You or your partner says the following:
Read this next section out loud. After asking a question, allow plenty of time for you and/or your partner to think and for various childhood images to emerge.
At this time think about the pictures evoked and think about or discuss what you remember with your partner. You may write down the memories, draw your memory and/or share the experiences with your partner.
Amazing, isn’t it? That special toy you played with as a child still, for many of you, remains vivid in your memory. If you do not have such recollections that, too, is significant. The lack of toys or memories of them affects us, too! Perhaps after this exercise you will better understand how important the toys are with which children play.
Toys (or their absence) are a formative part of childhood. Strong memories arise as soon as you allow your mind to return to your early years.
Sometimes those memories are painful ones of loss or anger. Many adults can remember the feelings of having a greatly loved doll or teddy bear suddenly pulled away or broken by a brother or sister. Or, perhaps, the memory is of never having owned a stuffed animal to cuddle. Or your parent may have given away a favorite toy, set of trains, or other treasured plaything. Long afterward one can still remember the pain of that experience, and adult behavior and/or attitudes may reflect it.
If you recognize that you might have some disturbing feelings from childhood, endeavor to examine what happened. Try to forgive your parents, siblings, or friend for doing something that may have hurt you. Put that pain into perspective, and allow it to fade from your memories. In that way you will be able to move ahead with your current life and new responsibilities.
If this approach doesn’t work, and something from the past is still troubling you, you may want to seek counseling. Getting to the bottom of the issue and working through old pain will allow you to fully enjoy the pleasure of playing with your own child, rather than not responding or using them as a substitute for your own childhood.
There are the happy recollections, too. Many people report the fun of building with their Erector sets, making towering creations, or building their first train layout that greatly impressed younger brothers and sisters. You may be surprised to know that pride in such accomplishments can last long into adulthood.
Childhood is full of magical moments: receiving that first dress-up doll, setting up the tracks of that first train (or watching Dad take over!), learning to play Jacks and Ball, jumping rope, doing tricks with your yo-yo, sailing a wooden boat, having an afternoon tea party with dolls, and teacups, and cooking over your little toy stove.
These are some of the vivid pictures, fondly recalled, that rush by when adults watch their own baby in his crib. Their new baby playing with his toes or with their fingers, or trying to catch light coming through the window, sparks scenes from the parents’ own childhood.
What toys will you provide to create those enchanting moments for your precious infant’s future joy?
Certainly the basic function of any toy is to give pleasure to a child. Whether high-tech or old-fashioned, toys open exciting new doors to fresh awareness. So, before evaluating or thinking about toys for your young one, try to think back to your own experiences with toys. It will strengthen the empathy you have, and better appreciate the needs of your child.
If you do remember many of these experiences, then toys were important in your childhood. You have an appreciation for toys, a good memory, and you were an active player. You probably still are. So please enjoy the rest of this book, and the special playtimes you will have with your child in what can be a most special, fun, “second childhood.”
Power of Memories
Independently several architects have told me that playing with blocks as a child helped influence them towards their career choice—building with bigger and better blocks. Teachers told