also begin to realize we are interconnected regardless of physical distance or emotional detachment. Each one of us is a drop of water within the ocean of civilization, separate yet connected. What affects one affects all.
In the un-awakened state, one’s sense of self is more individuated, insular, and self-centered. In an awakened state, our interconnectedness is illuminated at a level of awareness that causes us to think, feel, and eventually act differently towards others—especially our family.
In that moment when the Veil of Forgetting lifts, we glimpse our responsibility not only for ourselves, but for our family, which, in turn, contributes positively towards the Greater Consciousness of all. When we pursue such a path of awakening, particularly through facing the true origins of our life, a profound humility arises. We recognize at the deepest, cellular Soul Level that we are an extension of a very long ancestral line of human beings. We also become aware of the innate goodness that drives us consciously and unconsciously. At the very root of our humanity is the desire to move forward, to create and to cooperate. We want to help ourselves, those we love, and ultimately all human beings. This is the real meaning of evolution.
Desire
Desire is a crucial element in uncovering our true nature—that we are Souls in human form. Desire is essential for the forward progression of our evolution—to feel our goodness, our Divinity within as well as in others. This is the kind of deep desire that comes from yearning for a life less painful, more fulfilling, more whole. It’s our heart’s sometimes-hidden longing to come closer to our loved ones—those we have come into this life to be with, and to share all the ups and downs that life brings. It is the urge to reconcile, heal, understand, forgive, and find happiness and a lasting sense of peace. Desire is the key that turns the lock on the doorway of our existence, the why we are here.
Imagine standing at that doorway and asking yourself:
When the violin
Can forgive the past
It starts singing.
When the violin can forgive
Every wound caused by others
The heart begins
Singing
—Shams al-Din Hafiz, Sufi mystic
According to Bert Hellinger, “peace begins in the Soul.” In our experience, too, when our individual Soul comes to peace, the ripples are felt throughout our lives. The way we experience relationships improves, body tensions relax, and a process of profound transformation begins. Our frame of mind shifts to a more peaceful state. We also can’t help thinking, feeling, and acting more compassionately towards the people and circumstances in our lives.
So, as you can see, the starting point for understanding why we are here is to acknowledge our Family of Origin, just as it is. Not how we wish it were different, but how it actually is at this particular moment in time. We also acknowledge that we are a contributing member to a vast body of knowledge that has accumulated through each and every single family member’s life experience since humanity began. We are gatherers of information, like honeybees collecting pollen and returning to the hive, offering donations to our fellow creatures. Together we create substance that sustains the colony’s life. Our pollen is our newly awakened consciousness, the ever-expanding knowledge we gain about ourselves in relation to our Family Lineage.
When learning to use a compass, first we are taught to stand still. In stillness we determine our particular orientation to the direction we desire. Our bodies, our thoughts, our sense of self, comprise our inner compass. The art of contemplation invites us to be still and determine which way our inner compass is facing.
Contemplate the second perennial question now: Why are we here? Why am I a member of my particular family? Consider these possible responses:
If you accept that the purpose of our human nature is the evolution of consciousness, you are ready to explore the third perennial question.
Eckhart Tolle, spiritual teacher and author, wrote, “Your inner purpose is to awaken. It is as simple as that. You share that purpose with every other human being on the planet—because it is the purpose of humanity.”
Question 3: How shall we live our lives?
The Constellation Approach doesn’t propose an answer to this third perennial question. Instead, it opens a pathway to living through our Soul. Each pathway is unique to us and us alone. No two Doorways of Existence are the same, and no two people, parents, families, or ancestral lineages are alike. Each is distinctive unto itself.
The answers for each person lie not on the surface of the conscious mind but deep in the unconscious where the Soul resides, beneath the functioning processes of our thinking mind. To get a glimpse of our Soul nature, we need to look beyond the physical sense of our self, past the brain’s mental chatter, and through our emotional reactions to the varieties of people and events we have experienced. In this way, we can break through negative egoic structures into the healing expansiveness of Soul Consciousness.
Deep in the forested grove where your ancestral tree grows, along the trails of your parental bloodlines, your essential Soul nature is waiting to reveal itself. Every quest begins with the explorer’s willingness to move forward. This journey is an exploration inward and back in time—to realms where we were not yet aware of our existence, before we were born on this magnificent planet.
Consider for a moment that the Doorway of Existence is behind you. On the other side grows your ancestral tree, full and strong. Every trail to this tree leads to knowing yourself more completely. You will see, think, and feel things that you have forgotten, some of them painful. But in the end, you will feel immensely better about yourself and the Family Lineage that you chose to be a part of in this lifetime. Many of you will be astonished by your newfound freedom. But no one can take this journey for us and we can’t take another’s place. Only you can turn around, take the key of your own desire and unlock the doorway of your existence.
Standing at the edge of the still water It is into the depths I know I must go
My answers lie not on the surface In the clear light of day
But down below In the cold darkness where I cannot see