this gift from on high, Paul coined a word: “charisma.” The word itself is a combination of charis, which historians believe was the Greek colloquial for the word “grace-gift,” and -ma, the Greek suffix for “act of.”
The concept was twofold: when one received an act of grace (charis-ma) from God, one would keep one’s gift alive by giving it! For example, let’s say someone is endowed with the gift of inspiring others with their words. Whenever they open their mouth, they are spreading their divine gift of gab. Charisma is a gift that keeps on giving, like a snowball or an economic stimulus package. It was never meant to be an attribute, as much as a force, a currency. Like any currency, charisma moves through the community. And, like currency, charisma has to come from somewhere before it can circulate. Money originates at the governmental Bureau of Engraving and Printing. Charisma comes from a divine source to a grounded recipient. From that recipient, it can radiate to the community. You too can be an unending well of value for your global community, but, like Paul, in order to give your gift, you must first receive it.
In this chapter, we will discover how to receive your grace-gift directly, by becoming still and allowing the “lightning from on high” to strike. As success coach and empowerment giant Tony Robbins says, “Passion wakes you up to something in life that you desire so strongly that you no longer have to push yourself to do anything. You now have a different kind of drive; a force that pulls you forward.”2 Once that fire is lit within you, you glow with the passion of knowing you have something to give. That knowing will give you confidence, and confidence, young Grasshopper, is the first step in your charisma training.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
There is no clear consensus on the nature of God.
WIKIPEDIA “GOD” PAGE
Can I talk about “God” for a sec? A three-letter word that has brought undeniable peace, joy, and sanity for many, while on the flip-side it has been a vehicle for our collective insanity through holy wars, child molestation cover-ups, and outright scams.
Why do I need to talk about God at all? I mean, I’m here to teach you how to unlock your charisma code, right? The thing is, the more I delve into decoding charisma, the more I encounter countless surprises, all of them pointing towards the mysterious, the ineffable, language beyond words. There has to be something responsible for all of this, right? I love science, but people, I need to know one thing: What banged the big bang?
When I began research for this book, the fact that the word “charisma” had its coming-out party in the Bible was news to me. Raised a Jewish Pagan who celebrated Christmas, I was initially exposed to the Bible in hotel rooms. Because of my previously limited exposure, I feel I’ve had the opportunity to explore Christianity from a perspective of innocence and discovery. I hope you will join me in that innocence as we visit charisma’s roots.
THE IMMEDIATE CONTEXT
First off, we should talk about why you’re not crazy confident in the first place. This is a serious question. It’s safe to assume that, soon after conception, we are all confident, because we . . . are. We exist. Against all odds, we’ve got a heartbeat and trillions of cells just for us. We land in the womb with no reason to believe we are anything less than life’s favorite bambino. That being the case, it should be easy to sit still, look inside, and immediately get high on the glory of existing, but, for most of us, it’s not that easy. Somewhere along the way, we lost our sense of worth. Why? you may ask. Well, there are a couple of reasons. Let’s take a look at them. And then we’ll smash on through to confident badassery.
Let’s start by examining your immediate circumstances. If you reside in the West, you’re in a hypercommercialized society, bombarded with constant advertising. Traditional advertising works by making you dissatisfied with what you have and who you are. It’s pretty simple: in order to get you to buy something, the seller must convince you that you’d be happier if you did so. But what if you are already happy? Bad news for the seller, that’s what.
This is why, when you watch a commercial for a product, often the first thing they want you to know is that you’re lacking, and you should be dissatisfied about it. In the next moment, they offer a solution: here’s our product to save the day! Next time you see a commercial, pay attention. You’ll see it everywhere. It’s the same reason that impossible standards of wealth and beauty are modeled on, oh, you know, billboards and pamphlets and bus benches and TV screens and the side of your Facebook page. We are constantly shown a mirage of social perfection beyond the horizon, forever out of reach. A carrot dangling before the bridle. Thought you had the best phone? Nope, there’s a new one. Can’t keep up? Don’t worry. We can help with that.
Truth is, these advertisements are speaking to our actual pain, our fear of becoming an irrelevant, insignificant, lackluster, disposable commodity. These advertisements work only when we believe we are incomplete. These advertisements work only when we flaccidly allow ourselves to ask, “What if I am incomplete?” The question becomes, “Who made up this fear, them or us?”
THE HISTORICAL CONTEXT
Ever since Adam took the bait and bit right into that scrumptious Red Delicious, Western humans have lived with two powerful but dangerous ideas:
1. We know right from wrong; and
2. We are not only capable of sin, but bound to commit it. It’s in our very nature. You could even say it’s part of our job description.
Organized religion has used these concepts to manipulate millions ever since, offering direction on how to stay on the “right side” of God’s good grace. While there is nothing inherently “wrong” with religious guidance, in the tenth and eleventh centuries CE, we took the external-judgment train a bit too far and ended up at the end of the line: the Dark Ages, a time of extreme control and punishment.
Then, 700 years ago, Western people enjoyed a fun explosion of art and culture. During the Renaissance, a time of spiritual refreshment, joy and new ideas blossomed like lilies in the field. But this too has passed, and all that merrymaking transitioned into the “Age of Disenchantment,” when the lilies were machine-mowed down and replaced by an Astroturf of rational, visible, fact-based reality. A new and powerful addiction to the quantifiable wrapped its know-it-all tongue into the gaping holes of our holiness. It declared ownership of the unknown. It called the enchanted gardens and beliefs of animist villagers “primitive” and “ignorant,” and it has been raising its scrupulous head ever since.
The result? We now live in a culture that values the rational over the romantic. But even our best scientists, while excellent at measuring the very small and the very big, still cannot measure the Infinite. We can measure the big bang, but who banged it?
There is a big, embarrassing hole in our cultural logic, which states that all things can be explained, and if they cannot, they are silly (as if there’s something wrong with silly). Rational is more adult, and so, more credible. Intuition, wonder, and awe are fairytales, things we grow out of when we are mature. Right? Nay, nay, my friend. Listen up to Albert Einstein: “And certainly we should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve; and it is not fastidious in its choices of a leader.”3
Despite our factual society, not one of us Homo sapiens was born this way. We arrived innately enchanted with the untamable wonders of life! Swayed by its wet, diamond-tipped leaves and sometimes-warm, sometimes-cold winds, we loved being surprise-kissed by the waves meeting the seashore. We laughed and squealed. Nature programmed us that way. We are born scientists, designed to explore, to play, to wonder, What if . . .? Remember?
PLAY?
The field of play science is expanding. Scientists like Stuart L. Brown from the National Institute for Play in Carmel Valley, California, suggest that play is not just fun, it is tied to our survival as a species. Dr. Brown tells us that, just as asking “what if?” is an integral part of our human survival strategy as a superorganism, so too is play a part of what keeps our species highly adaptive. But here’s the rub: in one generation alone,