Kylie Jane Asmus

The Friday Night Debrief


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One ticket. That’s lucky, I don’t have any mates. I hope I don’t have to sit next to a dead shit. I’ve never been to the footy before. I hear the box is awesome!” Kylie said excited to be given free shit and talking without thinking.

      “Oh that’s nice!” Mila replied.

      “What’s that?” Kylie asked.

      “Your seats are together, I thought it might be a chance for you to get to know each other better,” the boss said.

      “What? Are we going on a date?” Kylie said winking at Mila and completely forgetting she had just called her a dead shit.

      “Just remember, I don’t put out on a first date,” Mila replied sternly.

      “That’s okay baby, I’ll go out with you twice if I’m on a promise!”

      “Ladies. I just thought you would like to go and that you might enjoy the footy,” the boss said.

      “Righto. I’ll go. What about you Mila? Are you keen?”

      “Yeah, I’ll go. Thanks Boss,” Mila said professionally.

      “No worries,” he replied. “Have fun.”

      And go to the football they did. Kylie arranged for Shonky to give them a lift out to Dairy Farmers Stadium after he finished work on Friday night and the car came alive with laughter and chatter on the twenty-minute journey. By the time the girls found their seats at the Cowboys football match they were not even interested in the game anymore let alone know who the Cowboys were playing against. As they drank and continued to laugh and talk, they realised how much they had in common. They loved the same music, they watched the same shows, and they bonded something fierce, so they swapped mobile phone numbers. By the end of the night they were arm in arm, giggling and swaying as they walked out, reliving the fun they’d had at Mila’s welcome morning tea, in between fits of laughter.

      “I can’t believe you called Shonky a Hamrod! To his Face!” Mila laughed.

      “I can’t believe his folks actually NAMED him Hamrod so I could!”

      “You work with some funny people,” Mila said.

      “Yeah, funny looking,” Kylie said.

      “Pffft. That’s funny too!”

      When the football was over they headed to the bar in the Western Stand and when that closed they caught the bus into town. Neither of them had been nightclubbing since they arrived in Townsville. Kylie rediscovered the Mad Cow and a love affair was born.

      “Oh this place is tops! Listen! All the music they’ve played in the last twenty minutes was all country number one hits! On normal radio! And they play it here!” Kylie was starting to slur and over pronounce her words.

      “Yeah, I really like Shania Train,” Mila said.

      “Toot Toot!” Kylie said laughing at Mila’s mistake.

      “What?”

      Kylie had to shout over the loud music, “You’re on the right track mate but you said Shania Train, so I said Toot-Toot, because it’s actually Shania Twain!”

      “Ha ha ha, that’s funny.”

      “You think everything is funny right now ‘cause you’re smashed,” Kylie said.

      “Yep!”

      The girls danced and drank and were so interested in chatting to each other they didn’t even scope the room for men, other than to point and laugh at a few for their style sense or bad shirt selections. Many men looked at Mila but she didn’t even notice their ogling.

      Four hours and a piece of overpriced pizza later and the girls moseyed over to the taxi rank.

      “Where do you live again Mate?” Kylie asked Mila.

      “Hermit Crab.”

      “I think you mean Hermit Park?

      Mila burst out laughing with a full bite of pizza in her mouth. It was the first time Kylie found her unattractive.

      “You are so smashed. Do you actually know your address?”

      “Um.....” Mila stopped chewing for a moment and looked like she was trying to stand still and focus but she was still swaying and her right index finger floated in the air as her alcohol-soaked brain searched for an answer. “I don’t remember. I think, oh yeah, I’m at um, Queens Street. Or maybe I live in the Ross River or The Tarters Chowers Road?”

      “You’re unbelievable. Come home with me, I have a spare bed and I promise I won’t take pictures of you while you’re sleeping. I don’t feel like taxiing around for hours with you to find your house. I can give you a lift home tomorrow.”

      “Oh really? That’d be really great. Coz I have no idea where I am hey. But wherever it is, I wish it would stop spinning coz it’s making me feel crook!”

      The girls climbed in the next cab and Kylie wound down the window and got some fresh air into Mila. It was a quick drive to Kylie’s apartment and they were up the stairs in no time. Kylie got a bucket, a towel, some spare jim jams, a spare tooth brush and a large bottle of water ready for Mila so that she was comfortable. After a quick tour of the flat so Mila knew where the toilet and shower was, Kylie turned the lights out on the only and best night she had had in twelve long weeks.

      Before heading off to bed herself, Kylie left a note near the front door for Mila, letting her know that she was at Kylie’s house and telling her to make herself comfortable and to wake Kylie when she got up. Mila had shown no signs of knowing what was going on when they arrived at her apartment and she didn’t want her to freak out if she woke up alone in a strange place.

      It was early afternoon before Kylie and Mila dragged themselves from their beds the next day. They both freshened up and Kylie went and bought takeaway to assist with their hangovers. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and watching movies from Kylie’s movie collection and just before dark Kylie dropped Mila home. Before getting out of the car, Mila turned to Kylie and thanked her for a great weekend and said she would really like to try Outrigging the next time they trained during the week. It was great news for Kylie and for the beginner’s team of girls she was paddling with. They now had a team that they could rely on each week. Kylie didn’t have Shooters’ phone number so she advised her at Sunday training that a new girl would be joining them on Monday.

      Mila and Kylie met at the Strand on Monday afternoon and were greeted by Jenna and Jess. Kylie saw Shooters and said, “I’ve got another paddler for our team.”

      Shooters yelled to Ella, “Ella, you’re off the hook. You’re back in Team 1. I’ll take it from here.”

      “Woohoo! I mean, see ya later ladies!” Ella yelled.

      Shooters smiled at Mila and asked, “What’s your name mate?”

      “Mila.”

      “What a lovely name. I’m Shooters, I’m the coach of the team you’ll be paddling in. You can sit in the forth seat from the front of the canoe which we call Number Four. Everyone else, move a seat up from where you normally are. Jess, you are calling the Huts from now on.”

      Mila asked Kylie, “What number are you?”

      “Five,” Kylie answered. “But don’t worry, hang out with me long enough and I’ll give you the number twos!”

      “I don’t doubt it,” Mila replied.

      There was little more time for banter before warm up stretches started and then they were following behind the others and lifting that ridiculously heavy canoe twenty metres down the beach into the shallows.

      “Rocks! Rocks!” Mila and Kylie chanted trying to run away from what was underneath them.

      Shooters yelled, “You need some of these!” lifting up her pull-on slipper shoes made from wet suit material.