sin.”
In the midst of this ongoing temptation and conflict, Jesus learned obedience, and his character was formed. Jesus was always perfect, holy and innocent of any wrong before God, but as Hebrews 5:8–9 says, “Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him.” To say this in another way, the virtues of obedience and character were developed in Jesus’ life over time.
You and I have another story. We are neither perfect nor innocent before God. We have fallen short in obedient and holiness. Our character has been corrupted, but God desires to change this reality. His aim is to transform us to be like Christ. The grace we received in our salvation is the good work that was begun in us. Ultimately, this good work is carried on to completion by God’s grace in the process of our sanctification.
Our character goes deep and wide. In A Fish Out of Water, George Barna provides a vivid description of character:
Character matters. The word character is derived from the Greek term that refers to engraving, implying that character is the sum of the indelible marks imprinted on you which shape your thoughts and behavior. Character is your inner substance—the content of your heart that is manifested through your behavior and values. Character in other words, is who you are when nobody’s looking. The real you.3
As God seeks to transform our character, he is seeking our obedience, holiness and health. He desires that our lives incorporate and represent his godly character. This is for our own good. Godly character protects us and provides for us. Our godly character also illustrates and demonstrates God’s character to others.
The fruit of the Spirit give a beautiful picture of God’s desire for our character. Our lives are to be marked by “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23).
For Christian leaders, God desires another layer of character. In 1 Timothy 3:1–13 and Titus 1:5–9 Paul gives his protégé Timothy a list of character qualities for those called to lead the Church. While these qualities are required for elders, overseers and deacons, it can be argued that this list isn’t for a few but God’s desire for all Christ-followers.
As you read over these lists of qualities for elders, you will notice that something stands out. Actually, it’s the absence of something that stands out. It’s the near absence of competencies in the lists. The lists are almost exclusively about character.
Character is critically important for leaders because leaders face a special danger. In pointing out this danger, pastor and author Andy Stanley writes, “Your talent and giftedness as a leader has the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you. That ought to scare you.”4 Instead of relying on talent and giftedness, leaders need to be like icebergs. Though talent and giftedness may be seen at times above the waterline, they are supported underneath the waterline by a great depth of character.
Leaders also need to be positive examples. This means that leaders need to walk the talk. Integrity of character helps others to follow our lead. As Andy Stanley writes, “You can lead without character. But character is what makes you a leader worth following.”5
The apostle Paul was able to point to his own example in character and integrity repeatedly. To the Corinthians he said, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ” (1 Corinthians 11:1). To Timothy he wrote,
You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings…But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it. (2 Timothy 3:10–14)
Paul’s example and character made him a leader worth following. It made him a safe leader and a trustworthy leader whom others could follow.
God also gives this list of character qualities for leaders because leaders need to be focused on the mission. This requires leading yourself well. If you can’t lead yourself, you will be consumed with inner battles and struggles rather than focused on the mission God has given.
The character gauge is about God’s transforming work in your character. It’s no less spiritual than the spiritual intimacy gauge. As Dallas Willard writes, “The transformation of godly character is a supernatural outflow of the life of Christ in us as expressed through the fruit of the Spirit.”6 It encompasses holiness and obedience (in your thinking and actions). It’s about your integrity. If there is integrity, then there is congruency between the person everyone sees publicly and the person you know privately. Character is also intertwined with areas you need to take responsibility for: your emotions, your resiliency, your energy level and your self-care.
The character gauge helps you reflect and evaluate this key dimension of your life. These questions will provide a starting point:
•In reflecting on holiness and obedience, which of these words or phrases would describe you: defeated, stuck, struggling, transforming, pursuing obedience, purity?
•Where isn’t there congruency between your public persona and your private life?
•Reflect on the list of the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). Is your behavior in alignment with these fruit often, sometimes or not so much?
•Read over the list of characteristics in 1 Timothy 3:1–13. Which of these characteristics would others see in you? Where are you struggling?
•Is there an aspect of your character that others shouldn’t seek to replicate right now?
Gauge #3—Relational
Soon after Jesus’ desert experience, he begins calling disciples into relationship with himself. In Mark 1:16–18, Jesus calls two fisherman, Simon and Andrew, to “Come, follow me.” This is one snapshot that illustrates the ongoing theme of relationships and community in Jesus’ life.
Jesus’ life was filled with relationships. The Gospels provide many vivid snapshots of Jesus with people. He had ongoing relationships with his family and disciples. He loved children, reached out to the sick and marginalized, spent time with the sinful, challenged the religious and engaged the powerful. Jesus lived, loved, served and suffered in the context of close relationships and community.
Similarly, you and I are created for relationships. As the director of Arrow in England, James Lawrence, writes, “We can certainly connect to God ‘vertically’ through prayer, but to feel his grace completely, we have to open our hearts to the full expression of it ‘horizontally’ through other people.”7
As we seek to lead ourselves, we need relationships. We need community. As Christ-followers we are one part of a larger body. We need the support, gifts and accountability of the larger body. We need to foster healthy friendships, love our neighbors, engage in a local church, support the marginalized and be ambassadors who build bridges to those who don’t yet follow Jesus. Those who are married need to nurture their marriages and invest in their children.
This isn’t easy. Beyond prioritizing relationships, we need specific skills to help to cultivate them. We need to practice the long list of “one anothers” of the New Testament. We need to be able to engage conflict redemptively, to share our faith contagiously, to invite others into our lives, to develop appropriate boundaries and much more.
The relational gauge explores the health of your relationships as well as your relational skillset. Depending on life circumstances, this area can involve a wide variety of relationships, including with a spouse, children, extended family, close friends, neighbors, people without faith in Christ, church family, etc. Here are some key reflection questions for this gauge:
•Review your primary relationships. What words would you use to describe them: disconnected, frustrating, stagnant, supportive, deepening, flourishing?
•Are you able to engage conflict in healthy, redemptive ways?
•Have you