love you more dearly,
and follow you more nearly;
for your own sake.
The first aspect of the prayer is to know God more clearly. This is much more than propositional truth. The apostle Paul’s prayer for the Christians in Ephesus was “that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe” (Ephesians 1:18–19).
The question remains, what do we need to do to know God more clearly? The author Ken Boa believes,
The two essential ingredients are time and obedience. It takes time to cultivate a relationship, and unless we set aside consistent time for solitude, silence, prayer, and Scripture reading, we will never become intimate with our Lord. Obedience is the proper response to this communication, since it is our personal expression of trust in the promises of the Person we are coming to know.10
Jesus said very clearly, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments” (John 14:15, GWT).
There will be those who wonder who has the time for this type of a relationship when our lives are consumed with busyness. In fact, many find their identity and measure their worth by what they do and how much they accomplish. Biblical scholar Bruce Demarest comments,
Nourishing the inner man comes through relationship (being). The inner man is drained as the result of compulsion (legalism) and hyperactivity (doing). The life empowered to obey God only flows from a heart relationship with him, in the manner of Christ. With this in mind, we can understand Jesus’ words: “yes I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Only as we are graced with God’s peaceful presence are we really equipped to serve him.11
The second aspect of the prayer is to love God more dearly. The more we understand what God has done for us, the more our hearts will overflow with love toward him. John wrote, “We love because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). With the father in the story of the two sons, the love given was unmerited and undeserved. So it is with God. As we know him more we love him more.
The final aspect of the prayer is that we would follow him more nearly. Following God is based upon trusting him completely. Even if he asks us to follow him through a challenging and difficult situation, we know that he only has our greater good in mind. Boa states, “Obedience to Christ is the way we test and express our abiding relationship with him.”12
As we continue this journey it is essential that we develop a growing relationship with the God of heaven and earth, the One who made us for a relationship with himself and who has revealed himself in the person of Jesus Christ. Whether you perceive yourself as the younger brother or the older brother, the message is the same: God desires an intimate relationship with you.
The theologian James Packer declares,
What matters most supremely, therefore, is not, in the last analysis, the fact that I know God, but the larger fact that underlies it—the fact that he knows me. I am graven on the palms of his hands; I am never out of his mind. All knowledge of him depends on his sustained initiative in knowing me. I know him because he first knew me and continues to know me. He knows me as friend. There is tremendous relief in knowing that his love for me is utterly realistic based at every point on prior knowledge of the worst about me, so that no discovery can now disillusion him about me.13
Reflections
1.Take some time to reflect on the story of the prodigal son. Which son do you most clearly identify with? In what sense are you living “in the far country”? (Remember, you can be “in the far country” while still living at home.)
2.Think about the love the father had for both sons. Now meditate on the love you have experienced from your Heavenly Father.
3.What steps can you take to develop a closer relationship with God?
4.Read and reflect on this prayer:
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:16–19)
Chapter Three: Letting Go of the Past
“I am the Lord’s servant…May it be to me as you have said.” (Luke 1:38)
How different our lives are when we really know what is deeply important to us, and keeping that picture in mind, we manage ourselves each day to be and to do what really matters most. (Stephen Covey)
Some things in life are difficult to let go of because most of us like to be in control. When we are in control of situations we have a feeling of security and confidence. However, there are situations in life we cannot control, and we must let go. It may be plans we have made, it may involve releasing our children as they get older or relinquishing some of our possessions, and for everyone it will involve letting go of life as we face our death.
Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to let go of some things? Try going for an entire day without checking your email or responding to a text message or using your cellphone. In a recent Zoomer study of Canadians 45 and older, 76 percent said they would rather give up anything than their Internet-enabled device. Perhaps some are going into withdrawal just contemplating such an idea.
Here is a simple exercise to help you grasp the concept of letting go. Take a small object, perhaps a coin; place it in your hand and clench your fist around it. Hold it tight until your knuckles are white. Some people seem to live life this way. We make statements such as “I am trying to hold on” or “I am struggling to get a grip.” Life is perceived as a struggle, and we desperately try to be in control to make things work according to our plans.
Now slowly open your clenched fist and feel the relief as you allow the blood to flow back into your fingers. In the life of faith, when we learn to let go, when we no longer struggle, we discover a sense of peace and calmness.
In the Bible there are stories of people who let go. One of the key Old Testament figures was Job, who at the beginning of his life seemed to have everything. He was described as blameless and upright, a man who loved God and shunned evil. In addition he was a wealthy farmer with numerous herds, and servants to look after them. In fact he was regarded as the wealthiest man in the East. He had a wonderful family, and his children were the love of his life. One day Satan told God that the only reason Job loved and feared God was because his life was going so well. There are people who can claim to have faith and speak about trusting God when things are positive, but when things are not going as planned is when their faith and trust in God is put to the test.
Job lost everything. His animals were stolen, his servants were killed, and a great storm caused the roof of the house where his children were staying to collapse, and they all died. Then Job became very ill. Seeing the terrible things that had happened—natural disaster, illness, death and destruction—all that Job’s wife could say to him was “Curse God and die!” (Job 2:9). Through all of this Job relinquished control and declared, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him” (Job 13:15).
Author Richard Foster refers to this act of letting go as a prayer of relinquishment. He writes, “This is the kind of searching prayer that should permeate our entire life experience. In the prayer of relinquishment, we are committed to letting go of our will whenever it conflicts with the will and way of God.”14
Mary was a young woman whose life plans were radically changed. She and Joseph were engaged to be married. Like most young couples they had plans for their future that may have included building a home, having children and growing