CHAPTER 7. Self-Compassion & Self-Forgiveness
CHAPTER 11. Self-Respect & Self-Honor
Part 3. AMPLIFY the LOVE! Secrets to Cultivating a Long-Lasting, Loving Relationship with Yourself
CHAPTER 14. Make a Self-Love Promise:Stay Committed to Choosing Love for Yourself
CHAPTER 15. Engage in a Radical Act of Self-Love:Practice Self-Love for Forty Days Straight
CHAPTER 16. Be a Love Ambassador:Use Your Love Power to Generate Love for Yourself and Others
A LOVE LETTER FOR YOU
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
NOTES
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Welcome to a world of love! Come on in, take a seat, and put your love glasses on! Rose-colored, heart-shaped, or studded with diamonds — doesn’t matter. In the land of self-love, we know two things for sure: no one but you is wearing these particular glasses (they are uniquely yours), and what you are about to see isn’t a fairy tale or a science fiction tale. It’s what becomes possible when you dare to choose self-love.
Imagine, if you will, a world in which every girl born on this planet is born in love with, and stays in love with, herself. A world in which every girl, throughout the entire span of her life, never feels disconnected from the thread of love that makes her feel safe, loved, cared for, and special. Instead of learning to measure (and therefore judge) herself by the external images and standards that bombard her daily with the subconscious message “You are not enough,” each girl grows up believing that, regardless of her accomplishments, body shape, love-life status, or material possessions, she is more than enough, just because she is herself. The thought that her unique soul could be measured against and compared to that of another person or an outside ideal would never occur to her. To commit such an act on oneself would be, in her mind, insane.
Imagine generations of girls and women who never suffer from eating disorders, who refuse to tolerate an abusive or toxic relationship in their lives. Women who take care of themselves first, without guilt or obligation, rendering exhaustion and the sense of being overwhelmed obsolete, ancient diseases only read about in textbooks. To them the notion that they should give and give and give until they have nothing left for themselves would be as absurd as placing their hands directly into the flame on a hot stove. The girls in this world would know, without a doubt, that in order to give they must also receive, and self-care would be as natural as breathing and as everyday as eating.
Now, imagine a girl or woman in your life whom you love dearly. What if she could go her entire lifetime without comparing, judging, or emotionally beating herself up? What if her first reaction was always to be kind and compassionate to herself, to tell herself that she was doing the best she could? Imagine how much more love and happiness she would feel and, as a result, how much more empowered she would be to live her best possible life, one that would give her everything her heart and soul really desired — not what she thought she should have — a life that would let her do and be whatever she chose.
What a world that would be! And while this world may not currently be the norm for us, this reality is not so far outside of our reach. The possibility of this world already lives inside each of us. This possibility lives inside you.
Imagine if you dare. Put your hand on your heart, close your eyes, take a breath. Now imagine that the girl or woman we just spoke of — the one who loves herself unconditionally, who freely gives her gifts to the max, whose heart is open to receive endless amounts of love and support, who doesn’t bother judging herself according to other people’s standards or lives, but who instead has an inner compass she trusts implicitly to guide her to her happiness and greatest life — is you.
You are the girl or woman who never drives herself to exhaustion but instead makes it a priority to take care of herself daily, without guilt or worry that everything will fall apart. You’re the one who asks for what you need. Imagine that every year as you age, you fall more in love with your body, even as cellulite or wrinkles get added to the package. To you, your body is a personal temple, and you adore and serve her and celebrate her for the one-of-a-kind body she is.
Connected securely to the thread of love, you respect yourself so deeply that each of your relationships reflects that same unwavering respect and unconditional love — or you don’t remain in that relationship. You know your first loyalty must be to yourself. You’d rather be by yourself than in the type of relationship (whether it’s a romance, a friendship, a working relationship with a colleague, or a family relationship with a relative) that keeps you from living your greatest life or being your best self. You’re not afraid of being alone, because you know you are always with you. As a result, your life has more love, not less.
Imagine being as compassionate with yourself as you are with the girls and women you currently love without question. Imagine loving yourself without question. Imagine that all this self-love is as natural as breathing, because you always remember and hold sacred the idea that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of your life.
Wherever you are on your self-love journey, today marks your commitment to keeping the thread of self-love alive all year long, an everyday connection to your heart and soul. In the pages that follow, you will take a stand and make sure that from this day forward, your relationship with yourself is as important as every other relationship in your life. This means that, just like in any other relationship that you want to flourish, you’ll need to give it love and attention, often. Just like in a relationship with a romantic partner, if you want the relationship to rock, you’ll need to communicate, check in, and be committed. And just as you’d do almost anything to make sure your best friend or your child had what he or she needed in order to be, love, and live the magical, fantastical life your friend or child deserved, so will you make sure you get what you need. Today you promise to remember to love yourself every day for the rest of your life. For if you aren’t willing to make sure you are happy, loved, and well cared for, then how can you expect anyone else to?
The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship of your life.
So how do you do that? Have no fear! You are in the right place. Because, while you may not have received the “Self-Love Handbook” while growing up, the one that would have shown you how to be and act as your own best friend always and without apology, you hold it in your hands right now.
Why Didn’t You Receive the Self-Love Handbook before Now?