The Unnatural and Accidental Women. Marie Clements

      Well, I guess if you’re just sitting on your ass you could put me through—save me the time of letting my fingers do the walking.

      ROSE:

      I’m sorry, I can’t do that.

      MAVIS:

      Are you gonna help me or not?

      ROSE:

      Well, to be honest … no one’s ever reached me on the phone before, and I just don’t know if it’s house policy or not.

      MAVIS:

      What kind of house are you in where people call and you don’t help them?

      ROSE:

      Don’t raise your voice at me. I’m just following rules.

      MAVIS:

      Whose rules?

      ROSE:

      Management.

      MAVIS:

      (covers the receiver with her hand) Bitch!

      ROSE:

      Pardon me?

      MAVIS:

      I said, isn’t that rich.

      ROSE:

      I’ll put this call through just this once as a special favour, but this is highly unusual.

      MAVIS:

      Sure … whatever.

       SFX: Sound of real telephone connection.

      (ring) Hi, Mona. I just thought … (ring) … got to thinking of you and thought I’d call. Actually, I just thought I’d call ’cause (ring) I wondered if you and Bill might be coming into town sometime. You know, change of scenery and all … (ring) Doing good here, though (ring) just would be nice to hear your voice. I’ll try back later, okay. (ring) We’ll talk about all sorts of things. What I need is a good laugh. (ring) You know, a laugh so hard liquid comes from your nose like that time … (ring) Well, anyways, here I am going on … Just would be nice to talk about some old times maybe. (ring) I’d like that. I’d … like … that …

       She slowly places the receiver to her chest.