probably not bad either.
EDDIE:
True enough. (pulls out a hand-held TV) See that? That’s an eyeball. They’re doing an operation inside an eyeball.
ROY:
Jesus.
EDDIE:
Nanotechnology. Capital University has pioneered techniques in nanotechnology that are used around the world. And they’re developing a method—get this—to create new body parts: legs, arms, teeth ...
ROY:
Have you got your order in for a bigger dick?
EDDIE:
That’s rich. Actually, no. Doing all right in that department. But they could probably make you up a new liver. Bottom line, Roy, science never sleeps. It never stops working. It’s not about meeting rinky-dink deadlines. It’s not about shilling for every two-bit interest group wanting face time on the Hill. It’s bigger than you and me, Roy. It’s working twenty-four seven. Three hundred and sixty-five days a year. It’s micro. It’s macro. It’s leapfrogging ahead five years, ten years, twenty years. It’s the long haul driver. It’s The Big Bopper. It’s the bop in the bop-she-bop and the ram in the ram-a-dam-a-ding-dong.
ROY:
You’re nuts.
EDDIE:
Hey, don’t knock it! You’d be surprised how stupid things like that can break the ice. Anyway, that’s The Pitch. I gotta shitload of info if you want it. (tips his glass) Cheers. It’s been a good day.
ROY:
So, what do you know about Nell Harrier?
EDDIE:
Who?
ROY:
Harrier. The only scientist at Capital U. with a primate lab in Nepean.
EDDIE:
Nell Harrier? The monkey lady. Ornery as hell. Brilliant researcher. Taught for forty years.
ROY:
She’s gotta be ancient.
EDDIE:
Scientists don’t grow old—they just get younger grad students.
ROY:
I called the University. Harrier’s doing primate research but no mention of embryonic stem cells in gorillas. Any truth to it?
EDDIE:
(shrugs) Well, let’s just say sometimes work gets refocused. The road to knowledge takes many twists and turns. Nobody wants to stand in the way of a Nobel Prize. And the new Minister of Justice? Whaddya think of her?
ROY shrugs, says nothing.
EDDIE:
She likes feathers. Think she must have been a bird in an earlier life.
ROY:
What were you? A skunk?
EDDIE:
Ms. McGuire’s progressive, presentable. A damn sight better looking than Duckworth. Doesn’t know the file, but how much damage can she do? Her Deputy Minister, Pierre Guy, keeps a tight lid on the department. Help me, Roy. It’s always good to know what you’re up against when you’re going to government.
ROY:
Sounds like you know it all. Why are you asking me?
EDDIE:
Heard you knew her way back when. Thought you might have some tales to tell out of school. (he sees ROY preparing to leave) Hey, I gave you stuff on Harrier. Don’t get all haughty. We’re here to help each other out. I mean we’re not that different. I package it, you shovel it. (enjoying this) Or vice versa. Where are you going?
ROY:
You’re the only guy in town who can drive me out of a bar.
EDDIE:
I’d say you were a porcupine! (turns back to the bar) Another soda water, please.
1/10 GARDEN
NELL HARRIER’S garden. May. Early evening. NELL is trying to move a heavy planter filled with earth. ROY opens the gate, enters, sees NELL, clears his throat. NELL, startled, lets out a gasp.
ROY:
I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m from the Mirror. I just wanted to—
NELL:
Get out of my garden. No one comes into my garden!
ROY:
Can we meet somewhere else then?
NELL:
No!
ROY:
The Member from White Cloud says you’re putting human cells in gorillas ...
NELL:
Then you’ve got your headline. From an ignoramus who believes the world is flat. Just get out of here.
ROY:
I just need to confirm some facts.
NELL:
The media don’t care about facts.
ROY:
Maybe I do.
NELL:
And maybe you don’t.
ROY:
Please, if you could spare me just a moment. I’m a great admirer of your work.
NELL:
Really? What do you admire about it?
ROY:
(hesitates) Your papers on leaf mould.
NELL:
You read them?
ROY:
I did.
NELL:
And what did you think of them?
ROY:
They were ... thorough.
NELL:
Get out of here. You’re all the same! You’ll do anything, say anything to get a story. And when you get it, it bears no resemblance to the truth.
ROY:
Please, just a couple of—
NELL:
No! It’s been a three-ring circus since yesterday. I’ve got university and government bureaucrats crawling all over my lab. I have no comment other than what I’ve told them: my work falls squarely within the ridiculous snarl of contradictory and unhelpful regulations and edicts that comes down from on high. Now get out.
ROY:
Okay. Sorry I bothered you. (points to the planter) Can I move that for you before I go? That’s the least I can do after almost scaring you to death. I won’t talk.
NELL:
(hesitates, then nods) Put it over there into the light.
ROY starts moving the pot. NELL watches him.
ROY:
The name’s Ruggles, by the way. Roy Ruggles.
NELL:
You said you weren’t going to talk.
ROY:
I forgot.
After