Morris Panych

The Trespassers


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a conversation about me wanting to control people.

      HARDY

      Draw your own conclusions.

      CASH

      Connor was sleeping with another woman.

      HARDY

      So what?

      CASH

      So what?

      HARDY

      He was redefining himself in the context of his redundancy.

      CASH

      What?

      HARDY

      It’s what men do. In the context of their redundancy, they redefine themselves.

      CASH

      Not all men.

      HARDY

      Blame capitalism.

      CASH

      Worse than that, he lied and he kept on lying. I can live with a cheater, but I can’t live with a liar.

      HARDY

      The problem with marriage, you see—the problem with marriage—

      CASH

      Actually, what am I saying? I can’t live with a liar or a cheater.

      HARDY

      You can’t live with the simple truth is what you can’t live with. Men are men. And women are not.

      CASH

      Gosh, that is simple.

      HARDY

      I slept with other women.

      CASH

      You did not.

      HARDY

      How do you know?

      CASH

      You’re my father and you did not sleep with other women. And if you did sleep with other women, you can leave this house and never speak to me again. You never slept with other women.

      HARDY

      It’s my house by the way. Small point.

      CASH

      Fine, then I’ll leave.

      HARDY

      You know that’s not going to happen.

      CASH

      No?

      HARDY

      You’ve got a good thing going here.

      CASH

      Oh, right. I forgot. I’ve got a good thing going here. I live in a mill town with no mill, work in a museum that nobody visits, and my husband left me for a woman half my height.

      HARDY

      Half your age is what I think you mean to say.

      CASH

      While Mom was still alive?

      HARDY

      Eh?

      CASH

      I do not try to control people.

      HARDY

      Lithium. That’s mind control. Every child is a normal child; it’s the parents that fuck ’em up.

      CASH

      That word.

      HARDY

      I’m trying to expand the boy’s horizons. The kid doesn’t even know how to play with himself.

      CASH

      If you can’t look after him, properly, I’ll just have to make other plans.

      HARDY

      What other plans?

      CASH

      Other plans.

      HARDY

      I’ll look after him. Don’t you worry.

      CASH

      What are you doing with those magazines anyway? I don’t want to know. Aren’t you a bit old? Is that a peach?

      HARDY

      This?

      CASH

      I’m warning you, Dad. The police have been here twice already.

      HARDY

      Have they nothing better to do?

      CASH

      You’ve been warned. It’s private property.

      HARDY

      That is an abandoned orchard.

      CASH

      That belongs to someone else.

      HARDY

      Peaches, rotting. Is that what we have police for? To protect abandoned fruit? Corporate thugs, that’s what they are.

      MILTON

      Your grandfather was a troublemaker, wasn’t he? A real shit-disturber?

      LOWELL

      My grandfather had principles and I guess some other people just don’t.

      CASH

      Dad, I’m not going to have this argument again. Stay away from those peaches, or you’ll find yourself in jail.

      HARDY

      Good.

      CASH

      I don’t have the money to bail you out.

      HARDY

      Good.

      CASH

      Fine.

      LOWELL

      Mom made my grandfather swear on his own grave not to go over that fence again.

      CASH

      And that goes for you too.

      LOWELL

      I didn’t even know I had a grave.

      LOWELL deals out some cards; we are in the downtown rooms of ROXY, HARDY’s sometime-girlfriend.

      HARDY

      Not a grave, specifically, but you’ve got a death awaiting you. The date is already set. When you pick them up, don’t look at them right away. You want to seem confident and, at the same time, see if your opponent reacts to his hand in any telling way; if his pupils dilate, he’s got at least a pair of queens. The next move is yours. The thing about cards is you get what you’re dealt, but how you deal with them defines your character.

      ROXY, a hard woman about forty-five years old, appears with drinks.

      ROXY

      Tequila can be a hallucinogen, if used correctly.

      HARDY

      We all know that. (to LOWELL) I’d fold if I were you.

      LOWELL

      Why?

      HARDY

      You can’t beat me.

      LOWELL

      What makes you so sure?

      ROXY

      I don’t go in for this salt/lime thing. Just a waste of my time.

      HARDY

      What are you doing?

      LOWELL

      Folding?

      HARDY

      Why?