Sven Gunsen: I’ve met many intelligent men. Brinkman was among the smartest.
Luna Vallejo: He taught her using us and took all the credit.
Ralph O’Keefe: Brinkman knew our strengths and weaknesses. He never told her what they were. Or maybe he did, when they were finished. I wouldn’t be surprised.
Lewis Brinkman: I played her in the style of each opponent.
Lou Schwartz: It was humbling, being dismantled by an eight year-old.
Lewis Brinkman: The first game she won, against O’Keefe, was underestimation. He wasn’t prepared, and her game, at that point, was based solely on overwhelming her opponent.
Ralph O’Keefe: He took her for a while after (the first games). They must’ve talked about chess at least a little, because after a few weeks, she came back and could beat me almost every time.
Lou Schwartz: I took it easy on (O’Keefe) after that because I knew I’d be next. He’s got a temper on him.
Ralph O’Keefe: Bullshit. (Schwartz) told me I’d lose my seat to a eight-year-old. He said I’d be the laughingstock of Freedom Springs’ coffeehouse chess community.
Luna Vallejo: They both make up history to suit their needs. Brinkman told all of us that she would not take a table, ever. She was too young, he said. If he gave her a table, the focus would shift away from him.
Sven Gunsen: Losing to Rhonda made Ralph improve.
Ralph O’Keefe: I got by on numbers until she beat me. There was always a chance I’d lose my table, no matter what (Brinkman) said. So I started studying. I wasn’t gonna let that guy embarrass me like that.
Lou Schwartz: Ralphie got a lot better. It was fear.
Luna Vallejo: Brinkman thought of my style as very predictable. I studied and played side games with Ralph.
Sven Gunsen: Luna was married.
Lou Schwartz: I always wondered if anything happened between those two. Ralphie seemed more relaxed.
Rhonda Barrett: It wasn’t until I was in my teens—until Zaitsev—that I became aware of the interoffice politics of Le Petit Chapeau. By the time I found out I just didn’t care any more. About any of it.
* * *
Bernard,
Thank you for your interest in CentralCryonics. Please call our Freedom Springs office branch Monday through Friday between 9 am and 5 pm to schedule a follow-up appointment. We ask that you maintain the same regimen requested for your first visit.
CentralCryonics
1 Caughin’s passages in this work have been presented as they were discovered. As no audio recordings of his voice exist, we must assume that Bernard Reese, in his transcription of these interview sessions, chose not to punctuate Caughin’s words to preserve a rambling, run-on style of speech.
2 Artificial plants, unironically thought to bring life to a room, were often found in offices and residences during the Early Millenia.
3 Freedom Springs’ pedestrian riverside path is the present-day site of Wilfork Towers.
4 Records show that Crank’s birthname was Francis Hopkins Farrington III. The Farringtons were well-known in real estate and steel circles.
5 Common parlance for pre-portable talk-only telephones.
6 An audio capture device of the sort mentioned in the introduction. The point Caughin seems to be making here is that the unexpected juxtaposition of two seemingly unrelated items is jarring at first, then commonplace after a time.
7 One of ArtScene magazine’s Lara Fox-Turner’s most publicized regrets was that she had not attended the show, which she referred to as “the beginning of Freedom Springs as we know It.”
8 This long interview, with a retired Lara Fox-Turner of ArtScene, is the only existing conversation with Barrett. Prior to the Datastrophe, Barrett, tight-lipped though she was, spoke with other journalists and scholars—Oxford Melberg’s and Amanda Hansons’s respective books contain direct quotes from interview sessions, as does Cheryl Kearns’ “American Charge”—but the source materials have been lost.
9 Barrett’s pre-art chess visions were the subject of speculation for years prior to this interview.
Chapter Two
There was all that Louis broke up with the girl this is before Coxswain he dragged home this huge trashbag all points I said what’s all this he said I don’t know let’s see so he went over to the stereo opened the bag and pulled out a disc cover like a rainbow with all this writing on it I couldn’t read. These were in the dumpster in back of the video store he said the place the chinks went to he always said that chinks but liked them okay. Funny word to say. Chinks. Chinkschinkschinks. Haha. He put a disc in the CD player nothing happened hey dummy I said didn’t you get those from the video store he put one in the DVD player1 these dark words came onscreen after a title page filled themselves in with light we both got it the same time laughed Louis tried to sing along even though he didn’t know the song can’t read Korean we sat there watched them all scanned at least hoping for some porn but nothing most had like twenty songs2 so after a few hours we had some favorites but not enough to save really just one or two for the next time there was a party and we wanted everyone to leave I guess Louis didn’t want to throw them out so after I went to bed he took the bag down to the basement.
I lived at Dovestail for ten years found the place when I was moving to the city after college didn’t know what else to do the landlords call it a coach house except it’s hard to understand what they’re saying their accents are so thick this little house three rooms kitchen bathroom basement which apparently is soundproof somehow even though they live in the main house like twenty feet away because man we have had some ragers Pee Valves played three or four times Louis stomping around. Stomp stomp stomp! They never said anything we even had Bitchslap play once not a word from them nice people let us pay the rent like two weeks late give us weird vegetables from the garden no sunlight through the fog but they grew three-foot long squash no problem. Bernie used to have Stonecipher practices down there before he moved into Nine Northbrook with Amy and the rest of them to save money all these I guess they’re called heads the things on the top of his drums like targets all the hits centered in clusters a broken kick pedal other drum gear from him a workbench stereo speakers TVs basically a giant pile of shit pushed into the corner so of course Louis is going to take the karaoke bag down there Dovestail’s basement where stuff goes to die I noticed the bag while I was painting or trying to the other side of the plywood with my cans should’ve gone outside but if cops drove by they’d see me be like that guy must write graf then they’d realize who I was they’d search the place even though I burned the notebooks I must’ve missed something some practice board in the pile I’d get thrown in jail. I opened all the windows it didn’t help much I still got pretty high was like whoah my foot kicked the plastic bag and there must have been a hole the disc cases came spilling out.