B. Nyamnjoh

Married But Available


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to expand in the future, due to the illegal occupation of its land.

      On why the university has not planted boundary trees in lieu of a fence, the VC explains that this had been attempted two years ago, “but it proved futile due to the barbarism of animals and humans”. Implicitly referring to Dr Mukala-Satannie and his ‘Den of Mediocrity’ piece in The Talking Drum, she says that “no outsider has the right to dictate priorities to my university”. As a state-owned institution of higher learning, “we cannot afford to throw parochial and unverified criticisms on the government under which we work, and which pays us all the emoluments we receive.” She concluded her broadcast with a call to people to be less sentimental about the university and its deeds. She reassured the staff and students and urged them to have confidence in the university’s actions. “In a context of ruthless and unscrupulous politics in our university campus and lecture halls, the administration cannot sit back and watch vandals destroy what has taken the government and the taxpayers of Mimboland much sacrifice to build.”

      Lilly Loveless is of the impression that no amount of reasoning and explaining suffices to convince ethnic others that the local ethnic elite are not simply using the fence as an excuse to settle political scores. They see the fence as the latest in a series of moves by the local ethnic elite who manage the university against ethnic others. It has been commonplace, they argue, for the VC and Reg to see ethnic other students and staff as working against them and doing everything to make their administration fail, in order to take over the running of the university themselves.

      Yesterday she was spectator to a heated exchange Dr Wiseman Lovemore had with a colleague of his who accused him of hatching conspiracy theories to discredit the VC. “I just don’t see how you can write a love poem when your house is on fire”, Dr Wiseman Lovemore countered. In the course of the shouting match, Dr Wiseman Lovemore insisted that only his conspiracy logic would explain the mobilisation by the VC of “the dreaded Manawa juju of the local ethnic community to intimidate striking students.” The colleague described Dr Wiseman Lovemore as a coward who was using stubbornness to conceal weakness. “I know you are a weak man; I can read that from your eyes,” the colleague told him.

      Passions are high on this matter of the fence, with protagonists behaving like street fighters in academic robes.

      This was the first time Lilly Loveless was hearing of the “Manawa,” so when the quarrel was over and his colleague had left fuming, she asked Dr Wiseman Lovemore to tell her more on what actually happened.

      “On Tuesday armed troops and the Manawa juju were invited to intimidate students into abandoning their strike. The idea was also to force the students to stop their agitation for the release of five journalism students detained by the police upon instigation by the university administration for propagating ‘falsehood.’ According to the charge, ‘the students were guilty of illegal production of the campus newspaper – La Voix du Place to Be – unauthorised broadcast over an opposition radio station of information internal to the University of Mimbo, publication of derogatory articles in radical newspapers intended to incite the general public against the University of Mimbo.’” In his fury Dr Wiseman Lovemore looked like a human shredding machine that would not hesitate to lend itself to the students to make mincemeat of the authorities.

      As he speaks on, Lilly Loveless understands why he is so angry. “Some of the students have been arm twisted and threatened into betraying the cause by apologising and asking for leniency before a disciplinary board hastily constituted by the university administration keen to emphasise ulterior motives. In their pleas for leniency, the students claimed they had no intention of tarnishing the image of UM, and that their actions were instigated by politically motivated lecturers who disliked the VC and her ethnic elite at the helm of the institution. One of my colleagues, a close friend, has been falsely accused by these students of having urged them to burn the Reg’s official car. And I understand the students are still going to name further instigators. The question is, if these instigators are real, why name them piece–meal? Why …”

      He spoke like someone who sensed danger coming.

      “The VC and Reg are vindictive and vicious creatures. Raw, brutal power is their only strength, and woe betides whoever their bile settles on.”

      Lilly Loveless decided to cool him down with a drink.

      “Let me buy you a drink at Mountain Valley,” she suggested, tapping him lightly on the shoulder.

      He smiled agreeably and followed her, his mind still absorbed by developments at the university. He must compose himself, for in Mimboland, one must never pretend to be dead, else people will bury you alive.

      The sound of sirens could be heard in the distance.

      “The university?” she asked.

      He nodded. “They’ve invited the gendarmes again, to silence the students with torture.”

      “Still no agreement then? I wonder why they can’t negotiate. Why can’t they iron out the wrinkles in their relationship?”

      “None trusts the other.”

      “What a shame.”

      Mountain Valley was full when they arrived. Dr Wiseman Lovemore recognised a couple of his female students sitting some tables away from the main entrance, but they avoided looking in his direction. To keep them comfortable, he opted for a table at the far end, where he sat with Lilly Loveless, back to the students.

      “I spotted two students of mine as we walked in,” he told Lilly Loveless.

      “Smart move to sit away from them,” she stole a look in the direction of the girls. “Do you know those men who they’re drinking with?”

      “No, but the number plates of the flashy cars over there would suggest they are from Sawang. Customs officers or treasurers, probably.”

      “Why customs officers and treasurers? What’s so special about them?”

      “They are the ones with the money, lots of bribes to spend. Their appetites are big and greedy. They are the engine of the national corruption machine for which we are world famous.”

      Lilly Loveless was familiar with the yearly Transparency International corruption indexes, in which Mimboland was invariably amongst the world’s most corrupt countries and most difficult places to do business. Busy-ness was about the only business possible in Mimboland, she had read. From businessmen to politicians through intellectuals, civil servants, the police, military and general public, everyone was busy making money without producing money. Until now, she had thought this assessment was a bit exaggerated by the Muzunguland newspaper that had carried the story.

      “When the world calls Mimboland a tropical paradise for parasites, the treasurers and customs officers are those who benefit the most, after President Longstay and his ministers.”

      Just then, the waitress came up to them and took their orders.

      “They are amongst the hottest on campus,” Dr Wiseman Lovemore told Lilly Loveless about the girls.

      “What do you mean?”

      “Going after men, who are known locally as Mbomas.”

      “What is Mbomas?”

      “It is a long story,” Dr Wiseman Lovemore began. He told her how many years ago the Mim dollar was radically devalued by 100 per cent, causing lots of hardship among Mimbolanders whose salaries, for the civil servants amongst them, had just been slashed by over 50 per cent. The times were tough, and few could make ends meet. Most men and women lowered their standards and tastes for one another, but even then, men would say to one another: ‘Can anyone afford a deuxième bureau these days when things are so hard?’ And the answer, of course would be: ‘No way, unless of course na njoh bureau.’ Deuxième bureau means a woman on the side, and ‘njoh’ means for free.

      Then there were all these rumours.

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